WHEN SHOULD I MARRY?

[Music] e [Music] [Music] well well well how do you do Pat how you do Dr h Hello Jim hello sir nice to see you both I hope I haven't kept you waiting oh well won't you sit down now tell me what can I do to help you well Dr Hamilton Jim and I want to get married but our parents think we're too young I'm 18 and Jim's 19 it's okay with our folks if we get married sir but they say we ought to wait a year or so they suggested we come and talk to you about it well we've been going together for 2 years we love each other as far as we're concerned we can't see any reason to wait well tell me a little more about yourselves Pat you're 18 you said Jim you're 19 you've both finished high school I suppose yes I graduated last year and Jim graduated two years ago and we're both working sir between us we have a pretty good income we've even been able to save some money yeah and I've been thinking of going back to school to take an engineering degree it'd be tough going for a while but in the long run we'd know we'd be a lot better off we have enough money saved to pay Jim's School expenses for at least the first year and we could live on Pat salary and Jim could work Summers to make some extra money we're sure we could do it Dr Hamilton you know you're not the first couple that have come to me and asked when's the best time to get married I think uh the best way to answer that is to tell you about another couple whom I married and know quite well of course everyone's situation is different but Betty and Bert Matthews are in many ways like you they're a little older perhaps but Bert decided that he wanted to go back to college and this presented certain problems Betty had finished two years of college and had been in love two or three times before when she married Bert he was 23 Bert had graduated from college two years before but he decided he wanted to go back and get a law degree Betty encouraged him to go ahead and together they planned to spend three more years at the University Bert was able to get a small educational loan to help them but for three years they were mainly supported by Betty she took an office job hi hi I'm beef an international law exam today was no joke oh don't worry you made it I hope so I didn't know I'll have to study all summer that means no money for us bird one of the girls at the office asked us to a party tomorrow night oh wouldn't it be fun it's ages since we've been anywhere and we can come home early what do you say look honey I I know you haven't been out for a long time but these exams have tough for me I've got to keep plugging wait till exams are over then we'll really blow we'll go somewhere and dance sure well I'll tell Babs tomorrow we can't go I'm sorry but you knew we decided now I've got something to apologize for I felt so good when bad asked me I I bought an Irish linen tablecloth with eight dinner napkins I'm so sick and tired of that old plastic one eight napkins when do you think we're going to have a banquet for eight people how much did it cost well I got it on sale just $9.95 10 bucks do you realize I've been saving up a quarter at a time to buy a textbook on civil law for $8 and you go shoot 10 bucks on a useless tablecloth maybe it's useless to you you don't care what kind of a slum we live in well I'm sick and tired of it I'm glad I bought it it'll be the one nice thing in this whole dump look let's have dinner shall we maybe I can get some studying done [Applause] for thanks for your usual help and cooperation I suppose it's absolutely essential for you to hang wet dripping clothes exactly over the spot where I have to be studied it happens to be essential because there's no other place in fact there's no place to put anything and now that you're in the mood to complain I'd like to ask you how in the world we ever got ourselves into this mess for Pete sake Betty I I thought you were in this with me I am most of the time I'm glad we're doing this together sometimes everything seems to gang up stupid tablecloth I guess it made me feel guilty I've been sort of jumping myself lately with all the studying and exams don't worry about the tablecloth I'll tell you what I'll pick up the wash and you make us some coffee and we'll use the tablecloth GE they sound like us but goly we'd still rather spend those years together you know Jim you should at least consider the possibility that you might not be able to finish school oh I don't mean that you wouldn't be able to handle the exams but one of you might uh take sick and then you need that money that you've been saving for school you might have a baby and then Pat wouldn't be able to work for a while you mean having a wife might mean Jim couldn't go on with his education that means more to me than anything something happened while I was at school I had to quit well i' I'd quit that's all well then again there are special problems in young marriages when you were a little older You' have had more experience in living and sometimes that extra experience makes the going a little easier that's what my mother says let me tell you about another young couple Helen and Hal were only 17 when I married them Hal had finished high school and then he joined the army for two years to get his military service out of the way he asked Helen to marry him a week before he entered the Army now that suited Helen just fine she and Hal had been going steady for a year now I think she was tired of being the baby of the family with uh too many restrictions she said she thought that with h in the Army it would be a good time to get married and I think that Hal was the kind of person wanted to get away from family restrictions too married life was pretty tough for Helen she lived in a succession of strange towns moving around the country to be near hell then the baby arrived a year and a half after they were married throw that out again did you huh I'll bet I picked it up a thousand times I'll bet I have right after Hal was discharged he got a job in a Furniture Factory he was very talented in manual skills happy birthday honey what is all this well it isn't every day you have a birthday is it and guess what I made it myself well it's wonderful it's beautiful well I'm afraid I couldn't afford to buy you a birthday present like last year but then last year I didn't make you a cake maybe next year you can have both the most beautiful birthday cake I ever had oh I almost forgot I've got another surprise what we're going to have a party I've asked Alan Marilyn and Hank and Sally they're coming over about 7:30 for dessert we'll have the cake and some ice cream oh gee that's swell I haven't seen them since high school where'd you get the flowers honey oh I bought them must to cost a lot of money honey 350 but it's your birthday isn't it I borrow $5 from the land lady I don't think you should borrow money from the land lady Helen oh don't be so stuffy we have to have some fun don't we and besides we can pay her back next payday yeah except uh rents do next pay day it's always slim going that week what about the baby she'll be all right with the screen around found her crib well I guess it's okay do me a favor stop worrying just for tonight okay how about some food oh hell here they are yeah hi in long oh man yeah it's been since high school you know oh hell you must have a good job isn't she the sweetest thing Sally she's a darling where's her room Helen well she sleeps here with us of course we hope to get a bigger place soon Helen you're so lucky to have such a lovely baby it must be lots of fun to be a mother in some ways but it sure does tie you down now tell me what's happened to you we haven't seen anyone in ages good night sweetie well Sally and I have just finished our second year at College we were downtown yesterday buying some new clothes she's going to stay too remember when we used to shop at the sales together Helen you used to find some of the cutest clothes I always thought you were one of the best dressed girls in school sure I'm going to Southwestern you know I got into the army in a way too Hal I enrolled in the ROTC at College I'll be a second Louie when I get out I never got to be anything more than a PFC he looked wonderful his uniform just the same all the guys in the ROC took two weeks Camp duty this summer it was great guess that kind of Camp life could be pretty good oh sure the rest of the summer I worked at the service station here in town I got myself a secondhand car with the money I made and boy is it nice to have a car of your own yeah I guess so well the four of us are driving down the beach tomorrow night for a picnic hey why don't you too come with us huh just like the old days we haven't seen your for for a long time that's a terrific idea well I don't think we can Sally there's the baby you know why don't you get a babysitter you know how much that costs oh yes I I hadn't thought of that say Al what are you doing with yourself these days you work all summer like Hank no no I've been taking the electronic course at the technical institute runs all summer it's a 2-year course how'd you get out of the dress I got a student affirment and I got to keep my marks up to hang on to it I'll say Hank a cousin of mine graduated from the same Electronics course two years ago started in right away at a pretty good salary getting married next month he and his girl have even started buying their Furniture already hey hey that's what I need white food come and get it here baby need a match yes please thank you [Music] turn it off Hank gee I forgot all about the baby it's okay she's going to go back to sleep in a few minutes oh I'm awfully sorry hell I forgot all about the baby I saw this new record here and I just put it on without thinking oh don't worry about it she'll be all right stand back folks oh good good wow look at that happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday how old are you now anyway 20 I'm going to feel old my gosh 20 with a wife and baby you're really making progress fast come on and Cut the Cake h I guess we'd better not sing Happy Birthday the poor baby will really get [Music] upset oh how I don't know what to do with her anymore I think I should feed her that's what it's like to have a family kids you never know what's going to come next I'll get the bottle and uh you see if you can quieter a [Music] little hel your bottle will be ready soon I Helen I think we better be going now oh you don't have to go already I think we should well I guess I better go I have to get up in the morning early I told my mother I'd be getting home early too so well I'm sorry it had to happen this way but I'm afraid she just won't settle down until I feed her well maybe next time I won't forget we'll have to get together again soon okay byebye byebye we'll be see oh I hope so bye h [Music] oh that's all right we'll make it again byebye [Music] bye we didn't even touch the cake I wonder how much Al will make after he takes that Electronics course gee you sure make marriage sound pretty tough Dr Hamilton I certainly didn't mean to do that both these marriages have a lot to offer you know when young people come and ask me should we get married now I usually ask them a few questions first like have you you known each other long enough to be sure that you are choosing the right person can you take on the responsibilities of a marriage such as earning and saving money in managing a home if you married now would you be cutting off a career before you had a chance to get started on it and there is another question even more important than the others are you grown up enough to handle all the things that can happen in a marriage I mean the ups and downs the emotional upsets the disappointments well I I think we are I do too oh Dr Hamilton we are ready to get married aren't we well nobody can tell you that Pat it all depends on what you want out of life if you get married young you may realize many dreams satisfy some desires right away perhaps but it often means that you'll have to sacrifice other satisfactions that may be even more important to you you'll have to figure it out for yourself only you can answer when should I [Music] [Applause] marry [Music]