DISCIPLINE DURING ADOLESCENCE

[Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] yes [Music] hello harry good night hi ho good morning ed hi hello hello jimmy say where's your big brother this morning well we let steve take the morning off this morning ed oh he stayed in bed i guess i think well nice to see you goodbye [Applause] he was the matter with steve this morning how come he didn't have to go to church when i did that's something i'd like somebody to answer yeah jimmy steve had a late night he's tired some excuse now just you never mind and it'll be ready in about a half an hour okay i'm going down the basement change your clothes and we're making a mistake letting steve get away with this what's the matter with him all of a sudden anyway he used to be a nice obedient kid like jimmy he's not jimmy's age anymore he's not even up yet harry sit down i want to talk this thing over before steve appears and i want you to listen now i know steve came in far too late last night we don't even know what time he came in last night except it was after 3 a.m now just a minute harry steve has almost grown up and don't say anything until i finish he's old enough to know right from wrong molly thornton was telling me she had exactly the same trouble with bob a few years ago and she left him absolutely alone before long he was keeping sensible hours without a word from anyone but anne steve is not like bob you know steve he'll drop his homework if one of the gang calls up you're not showing much faith in your own son that's nonsense i'm worried about his schoolwork is he going to get through high school and go to college or is he not right now it doesn't look too hopeful i'm telling you what he needs and what every kid needs he needs to be told what to do and if he doesn't do it we punish him that's all there is to it harry i remember you telling me how strict your father was how you used to sneak out because you thought his rules were unfair well they were unfair too you told me you behaved worse because he was so strict you rebelled that's right well then how about listening to my idea for handling steve we can at least try well what is it we won't even mention last night treat him just like a grown-up act as though we weren't concerned at all not say anything not anything now steve will probably be down at any moment we ought to look as though we haven't even thought about him you know he'll probably have a perfectly good explanation for why he was so late last night then he'll apologize you'll see hi dad hi mom hello dear uh say dad i was wondering if i could use the car after dinner some of the fellas when i went to town this afternoon and uh i said i could probably get our car hear me pop yeah sure son i won't be using it thanks bob what time's dinner mo about a half an hour that was some explanation some apology he gave us hi honey hi have you missed me baby oh sure hugs for everyone uh after last night uh give me coffee good and strong you get to be a real playboy aren't you steve where do you guys get to do all the homework i hear the teachers give you well my aim is to enjoy life honey don't spoil it by talking about homework all you men about town what coffee yeah yeah with cream for me me too uh and a couple of donuts they all have a piece of that apple pie i'll make it into apple pie flo hey were you folks mad at you when you came in last night mine were they were sitting up waiting for me started to yell at me right then and there if you're not in by 10 they seem to think you're robbing old ladies or taking dope or something you know my dad said to me he said he'd beat the tar out of me but good if i ever stayed out later than one o'clock again what did you think i am an eight-year-old kid i don't know my folks and i had quite a talk this morning about staying out late they understood why i stayed out late last night but they pretty well convinced me it wasn't a good idea oh come off it you know what i'd do if my dad tried anything i mean i'd leave home i wouldn't stand for it nobody's gonna give me that stuff well i don't mind a few rules as long as they stay the same the trouble with my dad is he doesn't know what he wants he seems to change his mind every day he's having a problem right here yeah i am here we're not scared not eating today steve no just coffee will that be all for you gentlemen yeah say i bet flo'd be a lot of fun on a date oh she wouldn't go with you oh i don't know oh boy take this kid she'd sure cause a sensation if i took her to the harmony hop on the 21st say you got a date for the dance steve oh sure i'll ask genie it's gonna run into money though let's see tickets for two something to eat afterwards chipping in on the gas well that's really going to stretch my allowance yeah it costs a lot of dough to go anywhere practically my dad can't understand why kids don't stay at home the way he did but boy he never makes it much fun for me to stick around it kills me the way parents forget that you gotta have fun while you're young you know i figure that your social life is just about as important as anything you do so [Music] no thanks dear was steve up when you came down yeah he was washing he's gonna be late for school bye dad bye mom goodbye dear enough is enough not one word we said to steve about the hours he keeps and it's got worse every weekend for the last three weeks now it's on a weekday it's eight o'clock and he's not down yet and no wonder heaven knows what time he got in this morning and i'm not standing for this any longer i know harry i can't understand why he's so foolish he must know better i thought he'd come to his senses by himself the way molly thornton said bob did that's not the way to handle steve though look at his last report card and see how much he's learning he doesn't seem to care about earning any money just spending mine and having a good time i know i don't want to let him spoil his life that's exactly what we're doing though and what gets me he's so cocky comes and goes without a word to us seems to take all this for granted there's something to be said for good old-fashioned discipline maybe you're right harry i don't know what to do i'll let you handle it this time i'll straighten him out steve steve do you hear me come down here right away i want to talk to you oh you did manage to get up this morning oh sure i guess i didn't knew the alarm go off boy you kind of tired you feel sort of tired yeah i should think anyone with any common sense would know if he kept the hours you've been keeping that he'd feel tired i've stood for all the nonsense i'm going to steve the mother and i thought that perhaps you'd see for yourself that these hours are no good but apparently not your school marks are a disgrace i once hit you all of a sudden pot steve your father is terribly worried about your schoolwork you know we want you to go to college next year you just don't seem to care you can't treat me like a kid oh no well listen to this young man considering your last report card you're staying in every night for a week in study starting tonight it's my business what i do with my time you don't seem to have enough common sense to know what to do about anything and here's something else for you to think about i'm cutting off your allowance for a week as punishment for your rudeness but dad the school dance is a week from tomorrow night i've got to go i mean genie will be counting on it and i need my allowance to pay for it nobody but yourself to blame if you'd start earning some money of your own for a change you wouldn't get stuck like this if you can't decide between your schoolwork and having a good time then i'll decide for you it's unfair you don't say anything about this to me for weeks and all of a sudden you begin you don't you don't understand i understand this much you'll stay in every night for a week and study and there'll be no allowance steve your breakfast has steve asked you to dance yet genie no but he'd better i've just bought a dreamy new dress mother nearly died when she found out how much it cost i'd die if phil waited this long to ask me can we just take it for granted we'll go together hi coming down to help decorate genie sure steve and i are on the committee oh steve says he can't come school dances are for kids i'm sick of the same dances with the same people at him doing the same thing well you're going aren't you look i i got to talk to you what's got into him he talks like a jerk i always figured he was a swell guy but now i don't know you through with this yes sure son here dear i made you a cup of cocoa this has been the most uncomfortable week i've ever spent why what's the matter you know perfectly well what's the matter steve hasn't spoken an unnecessary word to us since last friday it's been awful just soaking he'll get over it i don't like it he's been humiliated wish we treated him more like an adult that failed completely as we found out this punishment will do him a world of good something drastic was needed steve will be a different person from now on he's different now and i hate it we've got to find a better way to discipline him why can't we talk things over with him try to make him realize why we're punishing him steve's parents have obviously created a bad situation his mother assumed that steve knew what he should do and has failed to give him guidance steve's father has assumed that laying down the law was enough were both assumptions wrong why steve is now so embittered he may react in a way that could seriously affect his future education and work as well as his personality development if you were steve's parent what would you do [Music] you