Who, Me? (1965)

[Music] that's me but to get back to George you know George I'm sure solid type 42 years old hard worker pretty shrewd in most things he's a family man his wife is a lovely girl they have two great children here he is Daddy hi you must be tired dear Latina's waiting you should have called Come On In Chain wored he's here now come on let's Len to him you hungry hungry in short our good friend George is a catalog of all the standard virtues but did you notice that cough of his Rich resonant right from the diaphragm George has been hacking away like that for years he's not worried about it you understand not at all in fact that's what he's telling his doctor this very moment it's only a smok as cough doc see what I mean isn't it here this should give you some relief you didn't answer my question smoker's cough well you're a heavy smoker so by definition that's still not an answer what do you want me to say have I found anything more serious this time no I haven't the X-ray is negative far as I can tell you're all right but you're pushing your luck how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day I don't know two packs maybe more depends what why why not you just admitted it hasn't done me any harm now who's not answering well I suppose I shouldn't but I I like it I like it I like it there was a jingle years ago in school tobacco something something weed dirty weed tobacco is a dirty weed I like it it satisfies no normal need I like it it makes you thin it makes you lean it takes the hair right off your beans it's the worst on stuff I've ever seen I like so that's how things are with old George he's not much on logic but then who is most of us muddle along without logic except children children are terrifyingly [Music] logical it's all there is to it you're not inhaling not every time of course not bet you can't yes I can I knew it I knew it let me try no please it's my turn who said There how about that I think you're mean not [Music] letting how long has this been going on couple of times I gu what's that I've tried it a couple of times you're not old enough to try it at all the very idea of a 14y year old boy smoking cigarettes gee dad you and Mom smoke you smoke all the time don't be flipped with me young man I'm sorry I didn't mean it's not a question of what I do or your mother does you're too young and that's final yes sir Dad yes how old were you well I I was I don't remember exactly but I'm sure I was a lot older than 14 and another thing don't let me catch you giving cigarettes to your sister you here hey did it's all my fault all right all right go do your homework or [Music] something how old were you about 14 so what's with the heavy father bit the kids's only I know but he doesn't have to start so soon tobacco is a dirty weed isn't it say did you ever hear the other version my children are a Rowdy pair never heard that my children are a Rowdy pair I love them always getting in my hair I love them much too silly much too loud when they're around twos a crowd but still in all they do me proud I love them you stick that knife in pretty deep as far as it'll go too far I think sure I don't want him to smoke not yet but strictly between you and me what's there to worry about after all I just got a clean bill of health that does it that really does IT doctor bring on the mountain one mountain coming up what is this we'll be right over come on where are we going to see a mountain your Mountain buddy I don't own a mountain you've been building one for 28 [Applause] years is is that it one Lo to go I'll get it you explain this well as he said it's all yours your total consumption of cigarettes so far George half a million you're kidding I wish I were and here is the 18,000 you'll knock off this year Alone by golly it's kind of impressive reminds me of the pyramid you're so right welcome to the Royal [Applause] tomb well it all goes up in smoke anyway not up George in you draw it into your lungs and some of it stays there you've heard of tobacco tar the viscous stuff that condenses out of smoke well over the years you've smeared your lungs with 22 lb of tar go on touch [Music] it smell it care to taste it no thanks there are about 500 different chemical compounds in this mess and at least seven of them are known carcinogens they're what they cause cancer that's one fact but I've got a million of them the research on this thing has been tremendous you just can't blink it away at least the Surgeon General and his men couldn't 400 pages to support one conclusion help Hazard cigarettes they said are a health hazard look where's that big chart right here have you any idea how much cigarette smoking is increased In Our Lifetime well the population is increased no I mean the rate per person this represents the cigarette Smoked by the average adult in 1930 30 years later nearly three times as many during the same period the death rate from lung cancer multiplied by 10 now wait a minute you haven't shown a connection here I'm a fact too and I don't boy you are stubborn no you's got a point it could be happen stance but not my next fact now we select three men out of the general population the one doesn't smoke at all the second is a light smoker less than half a pack a day and the third is like you two packs or more now George if you were a betting man who would you say is most likely to die of lung cancer me I guess I mean him the heavy smoker by what odds against the nonsmoker that is 2: one 3: 1 10: one I'll take 3: one you're way off George even for the light smoker the death rate is seven times greater than it is for the nonsmoker and it's nearly 30 times greater for the two pack man the odds almost 30 to1 30 to1 sounds hard to believe I suppose but not if you remember the 22 lbs of tar that you've been collecting in your lungs you know at postm morms they can estimate with considerable accuracy how much smoking a man has done just by examining his [Applause] lungs this is a normal healthy lung here's what it looks like after 20 or 30 years of heavy smoking yes that's what people do to themselves and here's what's been happening too often cancer but it isn't always cancer of course might be chronic bronchitis or coronary heart disease or this he's a patient of mine he spends all day in bed trying to catch his breath what's wrong with him it's called empa the lungs are damaged and swell out of shape it's hard to breathe commonly found among heavy smokers first symptoms are a sharpness of breath and a cough that hangs on you know up to now you've been lucky George very lucky indeed I hope your son is lucky too my son I won't let him smoke how are you going to do that lay down the law lock him in the tower 20 lashes I'll talk to him it better be good out in Oregon smoking in parents confience no more facts well what it amounted to was like father like son or for that matter like mother like daughter in other words if you became a shining example who me stop smoking don't you think I've tried so many times try again every bit you cut down helps food will taste better and you'll sleep better you'll look younger and feel younger no question about it if you stop there's a very good chance your son won't [Music] start hey turn that thing [Applause] off now that's more like it my children are a Rowdy pair I love them always getting in my hair I love them much too silly much too loud when they're around whoose a [Music] crowd I've got to try to do them proud [Music] because I love [Music] [Music] them I smoked for 25 close to 30 years I decided that I should stop but I didn't really have the final push to get me to stop one day and I was and I'd been facing this uh realization for some time wondering what I was going to do about it one day in my office uh one of my partners and I work in a group in Seattle uh one of my partners brought me a film on another partner chest x-ray and it was quite evident that he had lung cancer and he was was a heavy smoker and had been for many many years he died within the next 6 months that same week one of my partners brought me another chest x-ray and another partner he also had a cancer in his lung when I saw and he was a heavy smoker and when I saw that I knew I had to stop and I put out my cigarette then and I haven't smoked since I've been experiencing numbness in my feet and ankles for some time so I consulted a physician and after examining me he determined it was a circulation problem he asked me if I smoked and how much and after answering these questions he simply laid the law down there shall be no more smoking so I gave it up I'm I'm delighted that I stopped because um it had been a a continual mental depression to me uh to to be doing something that I really didn't want to do well I started in high school I started because everybody else was and made me feel terribly grown up I I can remember well when I started smoking I was 16 and the reason I did was because my father and mother smoked and my two older brothers smoked my children are now seven and 10 and I don't want them to smoke and um I tell them this and if if uh I did smoke uh they conclude either that smoking wasn't as bad as I said it was or that I couldn't uh push this this monkey off my back things have changed so much in the last 25 years that when I was 16 we didn't know that cigarette smoking was a threat to one's Health like most heavy smokers I knew in my heart I should try and give up smoking but I really didn't want to and it wasn't until my visit to the doctor I'm sure I had trouble giving it up I I can remember I have a vivid picture in my mind of sitting at the dining room table one night with my wife and writing checks and she thought I was going into shock it was that bad went we here about how terribly hard it was it wasn't so hard I um didn't have to know eat 2 lbs of chocolate suddenly or bite my fingernails or do anything I must have tried 20 times and uh the 20th one attempt was successful and at the office I put the candy bars and macaroons in my desk and sneaked them out and uh chew them and so I'm when nor one was looking well um I found the chewing gum believe it or not was a great help you sort of have to have something to do with your hands uh at least I found this to be true and I can't say that chew and gun did anything with my hands but it it it satisfied that craving for something and yet I think that when one has a sufficient reason for stopping and I've got all kinds of scientific reasons but three real good reasons in my three kids if one has sufficient reason to stop one can do it I found that I could do it it wasn't easy but I do feel better and I'm very proud of myself and so is my family found was not as hard if you put your into it really I I would like to be a moderate smoker if I could be but I I I find that I can't and you feel you've got to do it you want to do it you're going to have to do it I think you can we think that uh the only way that we can turn this uh tremendous incentive to smoke and turn in the other direction is to work through the young people I just wish more fathers would have a chance of seeing it the way I did on that one particular occasion when it suddenly came home to me that uh smoking was no good me or for my kids or for the rest of the people with whom I come in [Music] contact [Music] the