THE LAST DATE

[Music] w w [Applause] [Music] dear Margo fined me from the hospital and now I'm home home again but in a way I almost wish I had died in there would have been easier perhaps when I think of what happened to Nick and well hey hurry up I can look from my window and we're going to the beach and see all the rest of the gang having fun all having fun but I I've had my last D who would want to go off with me now not even Larry some of the fault was mine I know and yet it all started so innocently the day of the big football [Applause] game Anderson bhire was playing the moar team that day and both Larry and Nick were wonderful Nick made two touchdowns himself oh it was terribly exciting but then after the game when Kathy Robbins she's my best friend and I were waiting outside the stadium dressing room for Nick and Larry she made me think a little by something she said oh wasn't he wonderful Kathy who Nick oh yes he's quite a flash but did you notice who ran interference for him Larry your other boyfriend remember he did of course I should have known but they're both so well it's a problem to decide which one I like the best GE I wish I had that kind of a problem which one of them are you going to let take you home Genie oh I don't know I haven't decided of course Nick has a hot rod car as father gave him last week sure is snazzy yes but the way he drives Nick's a good driver why his own father showed him how of course he may be a little reckless but well I wouldn't ride with him for all the tea in China Tea doesn't come from China silly it comes from Salon somewhere yes I was rather sure of myself that day it was wonderful to have my choice between the two most popular boys hey that reminds me how would you all like to take a ride in my new monster my dad gave it to me last week it's really a soup to HT ride do better 90 without even half trying oh I'd love that but jean I thought we'd that is I thought we were going to well anyway I can't join you I have the family car here and I have to take it home you better count me out too I've had one ride with this candidate for Tina side I don't think I could stand another one candidate for what Tina side don't you ever listen to Dan bacon the dis jockey on the radio he talks about it all the time he calls it the Fine Art of killing yourself before you're 20 you do it with an automobile he says all you have to do is treat everyone else on the road like an unwanted relative or a mother-in-law forget all you've ever learned about being polite and considerate to others and you'll make it that's what the man says and I believe him come on Larry take me home H salong kids bye bye yeah now what do you suppose got into her Tena side that's a lot of nonsense besides my old man taught me how to drive got to see the way he can wheel a car around he never had an accident yet he only been arrested three times oh beautiful shall we be off into the wild blue yonder come on I'll give you a real ride was a real ride all right we went the long way out along the turnpike and we went fast by the time we got to my house I was wind blown and almost exhausted because the way Nick drove was well pretty frightening still it was thrilling too Nick wanted a date for that evening to go dancing at the lake but I turned him down somehow I felt uneasy about riding with him at night he didn't take it very well he was angry as he went away and then as I started into the house I got a big surprise Larry was sitting on our porch swing waiting for me Mary what in the world are you doing here I had to talk to you Jean and well your mother said I could wait for you and then stay for dinner where have you been Nick and I took the long way home he's a terrific driver I see sit down for a minute all right no what was it that you wanted to talk to me about that's so important well look you remember what Kathy told us about Tina side this afternoon yes I remember Nick thought it was pretty silly yes I expected he would and that's what I want to talk to you about Jean I wish you wouldn't ride in that hot rod of Nicks I mean the way he drives it's dangerous now just a minute Mr Larry gray I think you're jealous that's all how possessive can a man be You Don't Own Me no I don't but I hope to someday and I want you all in one piece look I'm not a square or a killjoy you know that and if I wanted to I could drive faster and crazier than Nick or any other hot rod guy in the world but it's plain stupid for my money to risk your own life and the lives of a lot of other people just to show off the fact that you can operate a car any kid can drive an automobile what's so special about it I'm sorry it's it's just that I like you so much that I don't want anything to happen to you all right children dinner's ready yes it almost turned into a quarrel but I was really touched by Larry's concern about me and more than that I had another feeling he was sweet so after dinner Larry went home to change his clothes I had agreed to go with him to the lake for a few dances at the casino I put on my prettiest dress oh it was a lovely evening and somehow Larry looked awfully handsome more so than I'd ever seen him before oh it was nice nice to know someone cared so much about me certainly was a lot different riding with Larry than it had been with [Music] Nick you drive like a Slowpoke you ought to take lessons from Nick he really goes yeah I know I've seen him [Music] oh hurry up you can beat that red light maybe but maybe somebody else on the side street is trying to beat it [Music] too why don't you pass that car ahead of us because darling I don't want to go over the speed limit oh for goodness sakes we'll never get to the lake at this rate [Music] it's lovely music isn't it [Music] mhm going to be a nice night too Moon and everything mhm and now we bring you that man who spins platters while he chins and shatters Dan bacon good evening that's the disc jacket Kathy was talking about this afternoon without the eggs I hope and I've got a lot of Select to twist tonight but before we start I want to word with any of you teenage ladies and gentlemen who may be listening you're all such nice kids but tell me are you still alive you are good then you haven't committed Tina side yet have you what is Tina side well I've said it before and I'll say it again Tina side is the Fine Art of killing yourself and maybe somebody else before you reach the age of 20 you do it with an automobile it's easy really all you have to do he's corny besides I think you knew he was going to be on that station so you deliberately oh I'm sick and tired of hearing about this Tina side thing hurry up will you the dance will be over before we get there but Larry didn't hurry he stayed strictly within the speed limit I suppose I was pretty unreasonable about the whole thing but to me then it seemed like much to do about nothing at all when we got to the lake casino I stopped being mad hearing the music I wanted to dance and have fun [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh Larry's un love with dancer and I was glad we'd gone there he was a darling he even tried to kiss you while we were dancing but suddenly I opened my eyes and there was me [Music] pardon me may I cut in Nick oh hi Nick didn't expect to see you here no I expect you didn't may I have a dance with your girl well sure if she's willing but just one dance Mis that's all I want one dance Nick was curious with me why had I refused to date with him and then gone out with me mared I didn't have any excuse but his attitude made me miserable the whole evening was spoiled after a while though he got over his m a little and and finally we made out and all was forgiven [Music] come and take a little ride around the lake oh I couldn't do that Larry's waiting to dance with [Music] me he's over there talking to a bunch of the guys on the team you only take about 15 minutes we'll never even miss you well I feel I did owe Nick some consideration for having gone off with Larry instead of him and now him F I agreed to take a short ride not more than 15 minutes not more than 15 [Music] [Applause] minutes please don't drive quite as fast as you did this afternoon Nikki what's the matter you've been listening to that Tina ey nonsense some more I've been driving since I was 12 years old like I told you before my own father taught me all the tricks be careful Nick don't worry there's nothing to it watch this just give him the horn and make him get out of the way so there wasn't any doubt that Nick knew how to handle a car but I couldn't help remembering something Tina side is the Fine Art of killing yourself and maybe somebody else before you reach the age of 20 you do it with an automobile it's easy really do you have to take corners on two wheels why not two wheels are better than none that's what my old man always says please Nikki if this checken red light you run a those things are for all women and Scaredy Cats I know what I'm doing why don't you let that cop behind you pass us we're in no hurry I'm always in a hurry honey always in a hurry watch me make this baby walk away from him Tena side is the Fine Art of killing yourself and maybe somebody else before you reach the age of 20 you do it with an aut IDE IDE IDE IDE IDE IDE IDE that glassed truck oh no nick no not on the curve there's another car coming no my face my face my face my face my face so you see it would have been better if I had died in the hospital than to look the way I do I couldn't even go to Nick's funeral or the funerals of all those people in the other car and I as I said before I've had my last date [Music] oh [Music] [Music]