Taco Jack: We're Dynamite!

All right, GRINGOS, LISTEN TO ME. YES, SIR. MAY I take your order, please? Orders? You want orders? I'll give you orders. GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BLOW YOU ALL THE WAY TO TIJUANA. AND MAKE IT PRONTO. I DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT. IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY, SIR, how about something to go? You gringos think you can make Mexican food? We just blow up the place across the street because I make food I would NOT GIVE MY CHIHUAHUA. BUT at Taco Jack, we serve only authentic Mexican food. You make me laugh. Hey, boss, let's get out of here and get some enchiladas and chile rellenos. With tacos and refried beans. Oh, but we serve all those items on our number one and number two combination plates. I got no time to fool with no stinking combinations, lady. It'll just take a minute. That's a number one and a number two combination plates. Is that for here or to go? Here. We make hurry to food. And how about a large refreshing orange drink to go with that, sir? Forget the drink. Your order will be up in a minute, gentlemen. Cover them, compadres. Be careful, sir. This steam table's awfully hot. This isn't Mexican food. Real Mexican food takes mucho time to prepare. Well, you see, sir, certain key items, well, like our enchiladas, chili rellenos, refried beans, are assembled in advance so that So that they are dried out and tasteless when you eat them. Oh, no, sir. Everything we serve is cooked to order. To fool the greatest bandido south of Nogales is to flirt with grave danger, señor. Oh, how sweet. A cute little Americanized box. No, this is our microwave oven. It'll heat up your order in a jiffy. What is it you have in that taco there? Buffalo meat? Where do you keep your ground hamburger? I'm afraid you won't find any ground hamburger at Taco Jack. Only delicious shredded beef, just like in your country. What if he orders I will have to get one of these for my mamacita. But not with your food in it. Here you are, gentlemen. One number one and one number two combination plate. Would you like extra hot sauce? Now we make the girl eat the food. Oh, but Don Juan, she is so very nice to us. Why you want to make her sick? Contradict Don Juan Carlos Garcia de Vaca. No, I did not mean Just for that little one, I'm going to make you the guinea pig. Oh, but Don Juan, I did Come, amigo. Come. Miguel, bring the food. It looks okay. But couldn't I have something else, Don Juan? A machaca burrito or perhaps a tostada? You idiot. They never heard of a machaca burrito or a tostada in this fast food business. Oh, but we make delicious tostadas and machaca burritos, sir. That will be one tostada and one machaca burrito. Now, look what you've done. How about some nice cold milk to go with that? Forget the milk. Now, eat you fool. But you know I can't eat such food without extra hot sauce. Oh, here you are, sir. Now, eat your food before it gets cold. I'll be back in a momentito. It meant to nothing. You know, Ricardo, it's not safe to anger Don Juan. Do as he says. Eat. Perhaps it will only make you a little squeak. Are you Are you all right, Ricardo? Yes, sir. I think I will take a drink now. Tab, orange, Coke, Sprite, or water? Give me anything. Can't you see that I am dying? Give him a Tab. Will that be a small or large Tab, sir? All right, one large Tab. Here's your large Tab, sir. I see you like our hot sauce. It's dynamite. Our flexibility allows each of us to move around and prepare different items, depending on where we are most needed when the orders come in. What if we had a little gringo assembly line? That's very good, sir. Because during a critical period, that's what we actually do. We form an assembly line. So much for your diet, amigo. I drank the tab, didn't I? So, you are still with us, El Ricardo? Here is your order, gentlemen. One tostada and one machaca burrito. How about you, sir? Wouldn't you like a mouth-watering taquito? Taquito? I suppose you're going to tell me that you serve quesadillas as well, huh? Quesadilla? Oh, yes, sir. Would you like that soft or crisp? CARAMBA! This is amazing. And of course, we have a variety of other fine products there in our deli case. Marinated carrots and chilies, Mexican soft drinks. Don Juan Carlos Diego Garcia de Barra declares that this food is not not too shabby at all. In fact, it's it's not even bad. Tell it like it is, bandido. The greatest bandido in the world even says that Taco Jack food is is IS RATHER GOOD. AS GOOD AS MAMA'S? Hold your tongue. Yes. But don't let her tell her I say so. Hey amigo, when is your sister's wedding? God, I I almost forgot it is less than an hour. Fantastic. We bring the food from Taco Jack. You say you're pretty fast, huh? Let's see you make 50 of each combination plate. And 50 tacos, too? And 50 machaca burritos. And how about some delicious taquitos to go with that? And 50 of those, too. WE WANT THE WHOLE ENCHILADA. TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND the change. But Don Juan, you the greatest bandido are going to pay for all of this? Don Juan may be a great bandido, but he is not a thief. I think you gentlemen better bring your car around to our drive-thru window to pick up your order. Put that junk in the car, you idiot. I'm getting. Here's your change, sir. Enjoy the wedding. Gracias, señorita. Adios. Get real, you stupiddo. You want us to get arrested? TACO JACK WE'RE DYNAMITE.