Shortest Way Home (1948)

Car for Cincinnati, Lexington, Chattanooga, Birmingham, and points south now loading at gate four. So long, Keith. I wish I was going along with you. But give my best all the Sure. So long. So long. Say, you don't happen to know what became of Connie, do you? Connie? Oh, the nurse. Yeah. No, I don't. Why don't you ask Tony? You'll be meeting him in Cincinnati, won't you? Yeah, I'm going down to Kentucky with him. If you were looking for a horse, eat him. And you can tell him I said so. Oh, Stoney. I can hear that horse laugh of his yet. So that's what he said, huh? Same old thing. What I know about your nurse? Why you all in the lather? I just wondered. Cincinnati has quite a waterfront, hasn't it? Yeah, one of the longest, 30 miles. Of course, it was the Ohio River that made the town. There comes the overnight boat from Louisville. Handle them easy, boys. How do you feel, Wiley? I'm all right. Get me out of here. You asked for it. Hang one on him. Cuz you guys are going home. We won't leave him. Excuse me. Hello, Lieutenant. I hear the sergeant stopped some flying. Yeah. Last mission, too. I don't believe he's badly hurt. I am, too. I need a nurse. Mhm. Take good care of him, will you, nurse? You heard what the man Dog. She did this on purpose. All right, soldier. I'll look after him. And if he doesn't behave, where I should the body? Somewhere in Minnesota. Minnesota, huh? No credit, but there's no big hurry now. That's up to you. Oh, nothing would turn me down. Wonderful. How's it going, son? Just fine, Dad. I thought you were out working on your car. I started to, but I'm going to let it set. I'm not going any place. What's the trouble with the car? I don't know. Maybe it's me. Homecoming still seem a little strange to you? No, it's swell. Just a little different than I expected. The gang's split up. Marge married. I didn't mind that. It's just that I don't seem to be able to get back in the groove. Who's the girl? Well, that's Connie. Connie Albright. She was my nurse. She looks all right. She's the best. Where is she now? I don't know. We sort of lost track. The crew split up. I think I know your trouble, son. I felt the same way after the last war. You're still restless. You miss your buddies. Yeah, I guess I do. What a gang. That was the skipper, Captain Ed Ross, the hottest darn pilot in the whole air force. Bing Miller, co-pilot. Phil Kobel, bombardier. He could drop those eggs in your hat from 30,000 ft. And Red, what a guy. Who's Red? He was the tail gunner. The only one I ever heard of who shot down two planes with one bullet. Two? How in the world did he do that? You'd never believe me if I told you. Why, I'd like to see that gang again. That would be the best thing for you. Bing's in Detroit. Red's in New England. The skipper's out west. They're scattered all over the place. Well, so what? You just got through traveling all over the world. Why not taper off on a trip around your own country? I couldn't afford it. My old jalopy would never make it. I think I I know a way you could afford it. Be wonderful fun and relaxation for you. How? Come on, son. I'll show you. Detroit, you say, is the first place? Detroit, yeah. Well, that means you'll go by way of the Twin Cities and Chicago. Chicago bus now loading. Points east and south. Chicago, all aboard. Now, take your time, relax, and enjoy the trip. Come home when you get darn good and ready. Maybe that'll be sooner than you think. After all this kiting around in the air, I don't know if I'm going to like bus travel, so Oh, you'll like it all right, won't you, driver? A lot of people do. I'll put your bag away, sir. Thanks. People are traveling now who never traveled before the war. But going to see their boys in camp got them started going places by bus. Now they found how easy it is. All aboard, sir. Well, so long, Dad. So long, son. Have a good time. Thanks. Ooh, I like little lever. You haven't been traveling much by bus lately, I take it. No, ma'am. I come from Seattle. Seattle, Washington? Bus. It hasn't seemed far. I've been comfortable. And there's so much to see along the way. Look. Indians gathering wild rice. They knock the rice off stalks into the boat. I guess they've been doing it that way for hundreds of years. I like things like that. To see different sights in different parts of the country. Ever visit Mackinac Island up here at the end of Michigan? No. It's not too far from here. You take a boat over. It's the place that's spelled Mackinac and pronounced Mackinaw. Why is that? I wondered about that. Next time I go over there, I'm going to find out. The old fort still stands there. Since way before the revolution. Used to be called the stronghold of the straits. John Jacob Astor had one of his fur trading posts there. You can still see some of his old buildings. There are no automobiles allowed on the island, but you can go any place by horse and buggy. By highway is still the best way to see the country, but fortunately both the roads and the carriers have been made a lot faster and smoother since then. Or if you like to just sit on a porch and relax, there's the longest porch in the world. I've got a notion to stop over on my way back. How far are you going? I'm not sure yet. I'm going to look up some of my old bomber crew. I don't know how many I'll get to. Bing's in Detroit. He was our co-pilot. He's an engineer in one of the automobile factories there. Thousands of cars every day. Bing, some plant you've got here. It's one of the General Motors plants. You know, they make so many of those Greyhound buses. Compared to this modern industrial city, you'll find just at the edge of Detroit a reconstructed village of a hundred years or more ago. Greenfield Village. Oh, yeah. Henry Ford built it, didn't he? Yes, honor Thomas A. Edison. He's moved in some of the real homes and business places of some of America's greatest names. Places like the Stephen Foster house. The McGuffey log cabin, the man who wrote the McGuffey Readers. The Old Clinton Inn, first overnight stop of the stagecoach out of Detroit a hundred years ago. Like the Greyhound post houses of today. Menlo Park is there. Edison's old laboratory in which he invented the electric light. The courthouse in which Lincoln practiced law for eight years. I feel as if I was walking backwards through history. What's that? That's Gog and Magog. Who? The figures over the doorway of the old jewelry shop. Gog and Magog, striking the hour. Two giants Caesar is supposed to have kept in chain at the gates of London. Well, I'll be darned. Car for Cincinnati, Lexington, Chattanooga, Birmingham, and points south. Now loading at gate four. So long, kid. I wish I was going along with you. But give my best to all the gang, huh? Sure. So long. So long. Say, you don't happen to know what became of Connie, do you? Connie? Oh, the nurse. Yeah, no, I don't. Why don't you ask Tony? You'll be meeting him in Cincinnati, won't you? Yeah, I'm going down to Kentucky with him. We're looking for a horse he knows, and you can tell him I said so. Oh, Tony, I can hear that horse laugh of his yet. Ah, ah, ah. So, that's what he said, huh? Same old bank. What I know about you, nurse? Why you all in a lather? I just wondered. Cincinnati has quite a waterfront, hasn't it? Yeah, one of the longest, 30 miles. Of course it was the Ohio River that made the town. There comes the overnight boat from Louisville. Before the roads came, for 100 years or more, the Ohio River was the only highway they had east and west. I never thought of that. Looks like it's still in use. It's the busiest river for its size in America. Just now it's at flood stage, so there's not much moving. This is all mighty interesting. Well, you see Kentucky. Why do they call it bluegrass? Under that turf out there, for about 1,200 square miles, is a layer of peculiar limestone, mostly fish bones. Fish? This part used to be under the ocean. That was before my time. Oh. The old fish bones give the grass a lot of phosphorus and calcium. This not only makes the grass blue-green, but it builds light, strong running legs for horses. That's why we say good horses run anywhere, but they're raised in the bluegrass. Is that why they call this section the horse capital of the United States? It's not only called it, it is. Look at that. It's a horse paradise on Earth. Luscious pastures, barns like cathedrals, their own exercise pools. There's a nice looking horse. Well, that's Whirlaway, having company today. These horses have their own private racetracks where they train. And when they pass on, they own graveyard. A horse cemetery? Who would have thought it? Just the droves of people who come here from all over the country every year to see it. I know one. There's a guest book with more than 2 million names in it. You know any human celebrities can top that? I wonder if Connie was one of them. You and your Connie, come on. That checks off Bing and Stoney. Maybe Red will know. I beg your pardon? I must have been thinking out loud. Something Red Corporal might know. Red Corporal? He was our tail gunner, red-headed. His real name's Corporal, so of course everybody calls him Red Corporal. He lives in Revere Mills, near Oh. And is that where you're going? Yes, I What's that? Oh, that's the entrance to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Haven't you ever been over it? No. Oh, it's wonderful. Didn't I tell you? It's a dream highway. 160 mi without a stoplight. Crossroads go either over or under. There's one overhead now. How do they get on it? Just at the end? There are nine or 10 side entrances. They call them interchanges. We're coming to one of them now. Oh, a cloverleaf. Cars can enter or leave without interfering with traffic. I can't get over how level it is, even in rough country. What are we going to do when we hit the real mountains? Well, you'll see any minute now. We tunnel right through. Right. This is a dream highway. My father works for the highway commission, and he tells me that there are going to be a lot of these express highways around the country soon. This one follows the old shortcut between the Atlantic and the Ohio River. First an Indian path, and then a peddler's trail. Only instead of winding up and over the mountains, we just tunnel straight through. Miles and miles of them. I wouldn't have missed this for a good deal. And I'm glad I sat beside you. "Thank you, kind sir." she said. Now I've got something to tell Red. He's just crazy about tunnels. Aw. Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. They told me I might find my friend Copper Hill up here. Red! Wally, for Pete's sake! Welcome to Revere Mills. I was just coming down to meet you. Shucks, the clock must be late. What then? You know, for a minute I thought you were the mayor. I am the mayor, and don't laugh. What? Go ahead, knock yourself out. All I know is when I came home, they made me the mayor, and I'm trying to give them a good deal. And you will, Red. Uh, I mean, your honor. The getup I found in the closet. I put them on for you for a gag. Come on, I'll show you the municipality. The what? Okay then, the town. Remember the arguments we used to have? Bill Colville for California, Chick for Florida, and of course Tex was all for Texas. Don't forget Minnesota, Land O' Lakes. You and your lakes. A little Minnesota water. There's a real find. Those waves are coming in from 3,000 miles away, over where we were. It's like I kept telling you guys, everything started here. Remember what I showed you today? We're all part of New England, Plymouth Rock. Where our forefathers landed. Faneuil Hall, where the Boston Tea Party was planned. And Boston Harbor, where it was pulled off. Paul Revere's home. The Old North Church, and the various steeple where the signal lanterns were hung. Lexington Village Green, where Paul Revere rode and the farmers gathered, and stopped the redcoats at the bridge over Concord River. Where you saw the Minute Man statue. No wonder they call it the land of the pilgrims' pride, and we're proud of today more than ever. You know what I was homesick for most while I was overseas? That. Boston Common, where the colonists used to pasture cows, duck their witches, and hang their pirates. And the young men took their girls for a walk. Looks to me like they still do it. Yeah, this is one place the fleet is permanently in. Say, speaking of girls, do you know where Connie Albright is now? I believe she's stopping in Williamsburg. Virginia? Yeah. To restore a whole town is no small job. The Rockefellers have given millions of dollars to rebuilding hundreds of buildings from cottages to state house on the old foundations. We've seen the Bruton Parish Church, the oldest church in America, where services have been held continually. You can sit in George Washington's own pew, or Thomas Jefferson's, or John Adams'. You've seen the Governor's Palace and formal gardens. This was the center of the social life of Virginia for 70 years up to the revolution. Yonder's the old jail with the pillory alongside. They're putting a fellow in jail in. Yes, they have a lot of fun sometimes, but there was a time they fastened people in there for all day for minor crimes, like kissing your wife on Sunday. Although I don't see why that was a crime, do you, Miss Albright? No, except for some of the whiskers the men wore in those days, I'd say it was a crime anytime. So, where are you going from here? Williamsburg on the next bus. Williamsburg? Yes. I like restored colonials, too. Oh, sure. I hope she's still there. I'm sorry, I won't be here, as you see. I'm leaving within a day or two for a trip through the Smokies, then on to Jacksonville. 30 minutes for lunch. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Hey! Hey! Driver. How can I catch that bus? Oh, I don't know, mister. That's the southbound bus through the Great Smokies. Oh. The other section will be coming along in a few minutes. It might catch up with them somewhere down the line. I'll get my bags, huh? Yes, sir. The second section's loaded with a bunch of high school students today. I think they can squeeze you in. Thanks. Billy, attention everybody. Riding through the Great Smokies, remember you're looking at some of the oldest mountains in the world. Older than the Alps or the Andes or even our own Rockies. There are also more different kinds of trees and plants here than any other spot in the world. There are still great sections of it no white man has ever seen. On the other hand, there are white people living back among those hills who have never been out of them. They talk pure English, but you might have a hard time understanding some of them. It's almost the English of Chaucer's time. They grind their own grain in century-old water mills. They spin their own thread and weave their own cloth. A direct descendant of Daniel Boone lives down here, Daniel Boone the seventh. He has a forge shop. He hammers out things. These people tinker and contrive all sorts of things for sale. We're coming to the place where they sell such things. We're going to stop so you'll all have a chance to look around. Look everybody, we're coming to the Pee Dee River. This is the river that Stephen Foster wrote the song about. Only later he changed the name to Swanee. There really is a Swanee River, isn't it, Mr. Twitchell? Yes, dear, Father saw but this is the one he was writing about. Way down upon the Pedee Dee River, far, far away. That's where my heart is turning ever. That's where the old folks stay. All the world am sad and dreary everywhere I roam. I tried to phone you to find out if she was here. No, she shouldn't come down here, Wally. In Jacksonville, they thought a girl of her description was Nope, she telephoned to say hello. She's going on down to Memphis next to see her married sister. You know her name? No, I don't. She said check our navigator works out of Memphis. She'll look him up. Well, I was going to see Chick anyway. Well, she'll stay there a while. Now that you're here in Florida, you want to see the place. I like to see it. a tourist spot, like the Bok Singing Tower and bird sanctuary at Lake Wales. Named for Wales in England? Well, it's spelled that way now. But it originally was a wailing ground. W A I L, or lake rather, where the Indians gathered to wail in time of trouble. Oh, I see. That's not the half, of course. I want to show you my Seminoles. I'm deputy Indian agent down here now. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. How? No, that's not how. That's why I want you to see them. These aboriginal Americans are a mysterious people. Primitive, but proud. The name Seminole means wanderer. And they don't aim to own anything they can't pack up and move on a minute's notice. They live off the land, or perhaps I should say off the water, because fish is an important part of their diet. And you'd never guess how they catch them. They spear them. They live in streams hidden in the Everglades. You can come upon a village of their fragile huts one day and maybe by the next day they're completely gone bag and baggage. A month later, they may have suddenly reappear for a brand new bunch of them. I have to go to the back country tomorrow and I'll take you along. Thanks, Bill. I'd like to. Maybe some other time. I found my way down here, but just now I I know, kid. Just now you've got them Memphis blues. Of course, Beale Street isn't all of Memphis any more than the Bowery is all of New York. Well, you've never seen anything more modern than downtown Memphis. On our way to the land of Forrest Park, named for General Nathan Forrest. He's the man that said the way to win a war is to get there firstest with the mostest. All right. All right. I like your town. I'll even like General Forrest. But I want to know about Connie. Where is she? That's what I'm telling you. We took her around that night and the next day my wife and I were going down to New Orleans and Connie went along. Have you ever been there? No, but I want to know Oh, you don't want to miss New Orleans. It's like walking through one of their old wrought iron gates into another world. A city that was more than a hundred years old before it became part of the United States. The old square is still there, only now it's called Jackson Square in honor of Andy Jackson, the hero of New Orleans. And there still stands one of the oldest churches in America, the St. Louis Cathedral. You'll feel as though you've gone to sleep and woke up in the middle of the 18th century. In the park in front of the church is where the cassette girls, the ship load of French girls, landed in 1730, so the pioneer settlers could pick themselves wives. The Cabildo, the old French capital building. Now it's a fascinating museum. And the Napoleon house, the house that was prepared for him in the new world, but he never got to come. There's Pirate's Alley, where Jean Lafitte used to hide out. Oh, romance so thick you could grab it by the handful. Okay, it's romantic, but where's Connie? Well, as a matter of fact, I don't exactly know. What? Well, she didn't come back with us. She was heading for California, although she did talk of stopping off to see Tex on the way. Well, here you are, Miss Connie. I never saw so many. Will he come this way? Shucks, that little maverick, Curly'll drown him. He's good, isn't he? Curly? Oh, he's all right. It's Poncho. Poncho? He's the smart one. Why, he's got to know more than the cows even. I don't imagine that's very much. Don't you fool yourself, ma'am. You'd be surprised how much us humans can learn from those critters. Really? If you ever get lost, look for a cow trail. It's the shortest way out of a canyon or the best way over a mountain. You see, the greatest danger of getting lost in this country is thirst. Find a cow trail. It's a sure way to water. Well, they can tell if it's rain miles away and light a shock straight for it. They can tell hours ahead when a bad wester's blowing up and high-tail it for broken country where there's breaks for protection. I had no idea. Yes, and cows have a language all their own and a way to make each other savvy. When their calves are too young to travel, one cow will stay with three or four calves while the mothers go to water. When they come back, the other one will go. I like the cows, Tex. You'd love Texas. I've got a nice little spread of my own, enough to get married. I wonder. Are they this nice in Minnesota? What? The cows. Oh, you're thinking of Wisconsin. What I'm thinking of is in Minnesota. I don't get it. Los Angeles city limits. What does that mean, driver? It means they're great boosters. There's no place like LA. Of course, the tourists head straight for Hollywood. Yonder is Grauman's Chinese Theatre where many of the movie premieres are held and the stars leave their footprints in the cement. This is the Radio City section of Hollywood. Here you get free tickets to see and hear the stars broadcast. Uh this is NBC on the left. Couple of blocks further is CBS. Across the street is the Earl Carroll Theatre Restaurant claiming to have the most beautiful girls in the world and it could be. There's the Wilshire Brown Derby. You'll want to eat in one of those spots before you leave Hollywood. But I was sure she was coming here to Santa Monica. What? Whereabouts in San Francisco? Wiley. Jose. Wiley, what are you doing here? I look up and I say, "It is the Sergeant Wiley Pruitt, no?" It's the civilian Wiley Pruitt, yes. And you, you were that so hot fighter pilot from Brazil. I remember your whole name. Now, don't stop me. Jose Raimundo Dos Santos Luis Gayoso Luis Dos Santos Gayoso I always forget Dos Santos. Won't you sit down and join me? Thanks. What are you doing in San Francisco? Pending permission from my government, which I have almost finished. And you, amigo? A little mission of my own that I haven't caught up with yet. So? Well, it is what you say, a good place for it. I love the view from the top of the mark, the bay and the Bastille, what you call Alcatraz, the magnificent bridges, Twin Peaks and Telegraph Hill. Over that way is the university campus with its so beautiful campanile. Down there is the Opera House where the peace conference was held. Everything so romantic here, from the old missions to the colorful Chinatown. I met a Chinese businessman. He tell me, "Confucius say I don't care what Confucius say. Can he help me find my girl?" My poor old friend. Wiley. Right on time, too. Every 65 minutes. What makes geysers? Well, the center of the earth is a core of intense heat. In an old volcanic region like this, holes let the water seep down into it. Part of it turns to steam and blows the rest of the water out of the hole, which then gradually fills up again. Hot water plays many strange tricks around here, like these colored hot springs. Volcanoes. Paint pots. Hot streams and cold coming together all over the place. One place there's a hot springs right in the middle of a cold lake. Why, the place is fantastic. That's what I meant when I said you could take away the geysers and the hot springs, all 3,000 of them, and Yellowstone would still be an amazing place. Why, Connie, we have everything here. The biggest mountain lake in the country. A grand canyon all our own. Of Yellowstone. That's where the place gets its name. There's a waterfall three times higher than Niagara. We have our own petrified forest. This is the perfect place to study the history of the earth. Geologists have found that 12 different forests have grown here, one on top of the other. One on top of another? Yes, you see, the first forest grew, then a volcano covered it with volcanic ash, then another started and grew on top of it, and so on for at least 12 complete forests. Why, that must have taken millions of years. It took a long time. There are thousands of acres of forest out there that have never been touched by an axe. A wildlife preserve and bird sanctuary. It's also a fisherman's paradise and it doesn't take a license. Wait till my dad hears that. This is a great place for riding and hiking trips. Why uh why don't you let me take you on one tomorrow? Oh, I'm sorry. My vacation's up. I've got to get back to the hospital in Salt Lake. That means leaving tomorrow. Well, at least you'll be here for our regular campfire tonight. Oh, yes. Well, do you always have this much fun here, Ed? Well, it's a lot more fun when you're here, Connie. Thanks, Skipper. Is part of your duties, too? Connie, you knew how I felt about you even in France and you never gave one of us a tumble. No. Or did you? Ever hear from Wiley Pruitt? A radio gunner? Don't tell me. Maybe I've already told you too much. Now, why couldn't I have been the one that was shot up in that last mission? But he's a grand guy, Connie. And if there's anything that I can ever do, Thanks. My problem, Mr. Anthony, is how with maidenly reserve I can get that log from Minnesota to Salt Lake City. Next bus to Yellowstone? 3 hours. 3 hours, huh? Give you a chance to see our city. Mormon Temple, Seagull Monument, and other interesting spots. When's the next bus east? You don't We used to go to Yellowstone, you go north. I know. Maybe I've made a fool of myself long enough. I beg your pardon. When's the next bus to Sauk Centre, Minnesota? Sauk Centre? Oh, yes, that goes through Omaha. Next one out of here to Omaha is uh 2 hours and 20 minutes. Thanks. I'll prowl around and think it over. Where is that monument? Seagull? Just across the street in Temple Square. Years ago, we had a plague of grasshoppers. Right at their worst, the birds came in and ate them up. So, the monument was erected to the seagulls that saved Salt Lake City. Heads I look for her once more, tails I go home. That does it. Salt Center, here I come. Let me through, please. I'm a nurse. Wylie! She knows him. Good. Somebody ought to take care of him. You heard what the man said. Dog, I'll bet you did this on purpose. What are you doing here? Looking for you. All the way from Minnesota? Yeah, by way of Boston, Florida, and California. Take the long way around, don't you? Well, it's supposed to be the shortest way home, isn't it? Guess maybe it is, in fact. Our highways are happy ways when they lead the way to home. Our highways bring happy days to the broken hearts and home. And as you travel along those ribbons of gray, they all unravel and pull you homeward to stay. Our highways our happy way, we're leading the way to home.