Psychological differences between the sexes

[Music] [Music] every everyone is aware that the differences between the Sexes go beyond obvious physical factors for example there is the difference in muscular strength automatically the man will do any heavy work that needs to be done both the girl and boy understand that he is better equipped for such work than she is they also realize that there is a difference in the roles which society expects them to play and so she will be sympathetic if he is hurt but she realizes as well as he does that men are expected to fuss over a little pain the way a woman might seldom do such mutually acknowledged differences lead to problems but many misunderstandings might be avoided if young couples were aware that there are other ways in which the Sexes differ psychological and emotional ways which may be subtle but are nevertheless important in any manw woman relationship for instance Jane doesn't know that she has a different attitude toward people than Jim has she hasn't been going with him long enough for her way to clash with his but to understand her way you should see it in action not long ago Jane had a problem involving a friend who frankly didn't bathe as often as she should this is how Jane handled it hi Glen hi Jan Oh uh Gwen yeah last time we had gym I ran out of deodorant I was going to borrow some from you and I saw you didn't have any in your basket either so since I had to get some for myself I got some for you okay supposed to be real good but you have to use it every day after your shower all right I'll try it indirectly and subtly using a roundabout method Jane tries to get her point across in a woman's way and if she hadn't gotten it across this time she'd have tried something else equally indirect but the last method she would think of would be a direct or blunt way that might hurt Gwen's feelings now let's see how a similar problem might be handled by Jim yeah if he thinks he's going to overlook the rule about taking a shower this time the treatment I'm for that the air in this school's as much ours as it is his he's polluting it and that's going to come to a screeching Hall I have to sit beside him in history next hour I fell well I time take a shower [Music] next time you have to be told to take a shower we may be forced to get a little [Music] rough direct action that's the man's approach the one Jim and other men understand even the fellow whose feelings are most directly involved that's to illustrate the the bridge before a girl and boy really understand each other and that difference lies in their temperaments you ready for your surprise okay dessert first shut your [Music] eyes I bet you didn't even know I knew today was your birthday gosh no thanks what's the matter oh nothing I just sort of thought you might want to save it was a souvenir of the first time we celebrated your birthday together oh oh oh yeah sure in general women Place much more importance on romantic symbols men on the other hand generally have to work at being romantic remembering birthdays and anniversaries surprising their wives and sweethearts with little gifts we know that Jane is romantic and sensitive to other people's feelings while she is equally sensitive about herself touchy is the word a man might use when it comes to interpreting a harmless remark as one that is directed personally toward her Jane H what do you think of that new girl Susan what's her name Mardi I don't know I don't know her very well yet why oh I was just wondering if she was going to fit in you know yeah yeah I guess I do a little she seems sort of standoffish except in the table wow how she eats stuffing it in smacking making all kinds of noise you think she'd know better okay Gwen well I can take a hint if by making noise eating why don't you just say so Jane personalizes comments immediately saying to herself am I like that and since she is human and quite likely to be like that she assumes the comment was really meant for her even though such a thought was far from Gwen's mind and how about Jim is he likely to be different from Jane in this matter of applying General comments to himself let's see as far as I'm concerned tolliver's out I don't want him on a double date par particularly the awards banquet we're not slated to get any awards but Tolliver will he's a whiz so what he's a slob his clothes look like he spilled half his dinner on him just what I've been saying tolliver's out men usually do not take General comments personally that's toer to a te Jim says and it never occurs to him that General remarks may have been aimed at him and of course they were not when Jim Direct in dealing with others is paired off with Jane with her typically female qualities of being indirect romantic and subjective life may not always be the picnic it is at the moment and that's why I have to be home by 6 big family get together all the grandparents invited over boy my mom's really making a big production on on my birthday and i' just ass soon spend the evening with you there'll be other evenings your mother will be disappointed if you're late why don't you come with me we can call your mother from my house but Jim I can't I'm not dressed for a party you look well to me come on the Jim I haven't been invited what would your mother think what do you mean you haven't been invited I invited you I can't just walk in on her at the last minute she'd have table arrangements to do over again everything she won't care come on Jim I can't she will too care if someone comes in who isn't expected besides I don't have time to get ready and I can't let your folks see me like this on a special occasion what's a special I've had lots of birthdays what's special is not really the occasion so much as it is what people will think girls must be continuously aware of the impression their actions or appearance might create things a fellow can get by with won't do for his girl men should be aware that this attitude Society creates problems for women and indirectly for the men who love them if we could go with Jane and Jim into the future supposing that their attraction to each other develops into love and they are married we could see how misunderstandings based on the differences between the Sexes might affect them say I saw Bill Noble as I was leaving the office he wants to look at those plans I've been working on here at home he and liil are going out tonight and he said they'd come by and get them oh no oh I've ironed all day the house is a mess relax they're only going to be here a minute relax when you're always pulling some horrible surprise on me oh Jim why can't you give me enough notice to get ready when you invite people over I didn't invite Jim didn't invite them but he or any man is inviting trouble when he ignores the importance to a woman of what people will think to look at the other side of the coin Jane is inviting unnecessary Problems by ignoring some facts about men from what you know of a man's reaction to the indirect approach see if you think Jim is going to be able to Fathom what Jane is driving at D dear I noticed a new kind of electric shaver downtown supposed to be twice as f as using a razor you could zip right over your beard before breakfast thought I might get you one oh I wouldn't be interested Jane I want a close shave I don't care how long it takes but Jim honey if it saved enough time so that you could shave before breakfast wouldn't that coffee tastes bitter this morning besides I barely got time to shave oh [Music] man well does getting along with members of your own sex help you understand the opposite sex did experience with other fellows give Jim a hint that when a woman is just chattering she may be trying to tell him something trying to say I wish you'd shave before breakfast did getting along with other girls helped Jane understand that when Jim pushed away the coffee all he meant was I don't like the coffee not I don't like you but to get back to the picnic and Jim's bewilderment because Jane won't go with him to a birthday dinner because of the way she looks when it's his birthday to get back to Jane's reaction to the masculine surprise that's been sprung on her a misunderstanding exists here because each persists in expecting a reaction from the other that one should expect only from someone of his own sex I just don't understand the way you're acting no use even talking to you Jane's wrong there the way to avoid the difficulties that can arise from the differences between the Sexes is to face up to these differences and to talk them over and as for other differences that may exist well you'll know that you've probably discovered one anytime you feel like saying to a boyfriend or girlfriend oh women oh men such exasperating moments usually come up because young people have never tried to face face up to some of the psychological and emotional differences between the Sexes so what about you what examples from your own experience illustrate other differences in masculine and feminine attitudes or behaviors now is the time to talk over these differences between the Sexes to begin to go your half of the way toward the difficult business of understanding someone different from yourself [Music]