Junior Prom (1946)

[Music] This picture is on dating. The etiquette of dating. We are going to follow some of these students as they go on a date and see if their manners have anything to do with their fun. Everyone thinks that his own manners are all right, even if they aren't perfect. And that being correct only helps to spoil fun. So, let us compare what these students do and don't do with what we think is right. Let's compare ourselves with Margaret or with Helen or with two fellows who are particularly interested in them. The junior prom semiformal is the best dance of the year and is announced early. Jerry is the shorter of the two. He believes that he who hesitates is lost and that the time to ask for a date is now. Margaret, for her part, believes that a girl shouldn't make it difficult for a fellow to ask for a date. Fear of not being asked or fear of being refused can ruin our social lives if we let them. How do you act? Natural, at ease, graciously, or are you shy? Like Frank, do you blurt out invitations? Actually, Helen is glad to receive the invitation, and Frank is surprised. Getting dates is not hard if one will act with a bit of courage and show himself to be sincere. A week before the prom, Jerry asks Margaret to help Frank by finding out what Helen intends to wear to the dance. But Frank isn't thinking far enough ahead to realize that he will soon be selecting a corsage for Helen and that the cor should harmonize with the color of the dress to be worn. He should also find out the type of cor she prefers. So Jerry steers Margaret into a discussion of corages. She recalls the one she likes best. Gardinas, spring flowers, and orchid once chameleas. She and Jerry have been dating for a long while. She appreciates the good taste he has shown in choosing flowers that suited her dress and complexion. The wearing of flowers on the wrist, the shoulder, or in the hair is a matter of preference. When Frank finally asks Helen about her preferences, she is glad to tell him that she likes all types of corages and all flowers except gardinas. All the other preparations for their double date are also talked over. The night of the prom, Frank is glad that the dance is semiformal and that the wearing of a tuxedo is optional. But even with a dark business suit, so Jerry insists the color of the tie should be conservative. The socks should match the tie, not clash with it. We dress according to the occasion. A dignified occasion requires dignified clothes. As a matter of convention, men wear dark clothing at formal or semiformal affairs. Thus, perhaps they allow the ladies, by contrast, to be more colorful in their dress. This tie may not seem conservative by your standards, but it seems to be the mildest that Frank owns. Perhaps for the next dance, he will buy a quieter pattern, something that won't compete with the colors he expects the girl to be wearing. In that sense, he will be showing consideration for her, a gesture of friendliness. And that is what etiquette really is, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Correctness in dress like other matters of etiquette is something which has to be learned. One needs to check on himself and inquire from those is correct. Of course, women usually receive more training than men in the etiquette of dress because of its importance to their appearing always to best advantage. But girls have their problems just as fellows do. and what they think is in good taste may not be. Naturally, everyone thinks that what he or she likes should be considered correct. But most girls are inclined to overdress. Even the word of parents is not always accepted. Mother is called old-fashioned. But Margaret will take Helen's word for it. that she is wearing too many ornaments. Simplicity is always the safest policy in ornamentation. Correctness of dress for an occasion includes not only the choice of gown and slippers, but the hairdo and the accessories, the jewelry and yes, the face makeup. The rules are simple, logical and easy to remember and they are very important. Frank doesn't look happy, and he isn't. But how much of his fearfulness is actually a lack of confidence in his manners? Whether he admits it to himself or not, his unsuress is painful and is already interfering with his enjoyment of the date. His wanting to blow the horn for Helen instead of going into the house to meet her parents and to escort her out is really not shyness, but a sign that his manners are weak. He hasn't taken the trouble to learn how to meet people easily. Helen tries to introduce him first to her mother who has risen to shake hands with him. Ladies are always introduced first and they may offer to shake hands or not as circumstances warrant. Frank forgot that he should present the corsage to Helen at home so that she may put it on there if she prefers rather than carrying it to the dance. Notice that Jerry acknowledges the introduction to Helen's mother with a nod since she elected to remain seated and did not offer to shake hands. Frank shouldn't open the corsage box, but allow Helen that pleasure. Since Helen does not wish to put the flower on now, Frank should take care of it and see that it is not damaged. But give him credit for assisting Helen with her wrap. Helen's parents are glad to have met the boys with whom she is going out. And on the boy's part, meeting the parents is a minimal courtesy as well as a pleasure. Good manners never interfere with fun. They should be habits. And habits of correctness are just as easy to learn as bad habits. Correctness has the real advantage of allowing one always to be at ease. Jerry has been here often and is right at home. However, the ease with which he enters into a conversation is based on his genuine interest in other people and what they are thinking. Meanwhile, Frank is laboring to interest Helen in what is his, not her chief interest, sports. Margaret is careful not to keep Jerry waiting. She doesn't believe that keeping a fellow waiting a long time will allow her a more dramatic entrance and thus increase his interest. Rightly, she depends on the charm of her personality to hold his attention, not upon little games, so that Jerry feels he is dealing with her true self at all times. The phone call is from one of those fellows who wait until the very last minute to try making a date. Jerry can laugh at his wouldbe competitor. Margaret is gracious, of course, but brief. There is no excuse for lastminute requests for a date. No girl is flattered at the idea that she hadn't already received an invitation. Besides, a lot of the fun in dating is in the anticipation, and right now they are well along in their fun. But Frank and Margaret have problems with conversation. Margaret has tried to talk about the dates she has had with other fellows. She meant only to be entertaining, but such topics irritate rather than interest. Perhaps she and Frank hope the dance will furnish better topics. Now they have arrived and all the fun they hope for lies ahead. Dances are intended for enjoyment and the rules of etiquette which apply to dancers are again customs which have grown out of one person's anticipating the wishes and feelings of others. A gentleman doesn't dash off just because he sees a friend and wants to say hello. He waits as his lady removes her rat. [Music] He allows her time to pin on her corsage and powder a bit if she wishes. He saves her any feeling of being deserted or of possible embarrassment in entering the dance unescorted. Ladies expect and appreciate such courtesies just as they enjoy the thoughtfulness shown in presenting them with a well-chosen corsage or enjoy being properly escorted. [Music] In meeting their hosts and hostesses, Margaret isn't always as aware as she should be of Jerry's attempts to escort her smoothly. And if Frank realized that his awkwardness, in contrast to Jerry, is due to his not being sure about introductions, he would learn the simple rules in a hurry. Introduce a man to a woman, a younger woman to an older woman, a younger man to an older man. The name of the person to whom deference is shown is always mentioned first. The person who is to be introduced waits until the introduction is made and then waits for the other to offer his hand. Only a few friendly remarks are made. [Music] After greeting the sponsors, the first thing that Jerry sees to is that they select a rendevous so that they will have a definite place during the evening for meeting after dances. Then they begin filling in their dance programs. When programs are filled out in advance and then one or two couples don't attend after having exchanged dances, the programs are left with gaps that are hard to fill. So, it is perhaps better to wait until dances can be exchanged with those friends who are present. Then the dances that have been promised can be written in. [Music] The purpose of the program is not to exclude others but the opposite to plan for exchanging as many dances as possible. In that way, everyone dances with his friends and makes new friends. [Music] It is not a mark of affection for a couple to try dancing the entire evening by themselves. For after a while they tire of their exclusiveness and then each one fears to hurt the other's feelings by wanting to dance with someone else. It is customary though for a couple to reserve for themselves the first and last dance. Frank forgets it and has to be straightened out. But now that they have gotten to dancing, let's hope that their troubles are over and that the evening will work out the way they have hoped. However, let us watch to see if their enjoyment depends in part at least on their manners. [Music] All that they ask is that they be allowed to talk and to dance, to be with their friends, and enjoy each other's company. [Music] No, Frank, hold the cup yourself as you fill it, then present it. [Music] Getting jealous, they're only enjoying themselves. [Music] [Music] Keep trying, Frank. Be sensible, Marvin. [Music] >> Frank, you're wrong. She hasn't lost interest in you. [Music] It's foolish to be jealous. [Music] It's your own fun you're spoiling. [Music] As the dance is drawing to a close and it is time to say good night to the sponsors, everyone seems to have had a good time except Frank. The dancing hasn't worked out as he and Margaret hoped. But Jerry and Helen are at fault, too. They have allowed Frank and Margaret to become jealous. Of course, they aren't justified. [Music] Margaret made the mistake of trying to be too entertaining. Frank allowed his fears to make him wooden. People never like to blame themselves, so they blame others. All that either needs to do is to learn how to be natural and talk of what is interesting to the other person as well as to himself. Meanwhile, a good deal of the fun has gone out of the evening, even though Margaret pretends that nothing has happened and all is well. Naturally, we all learn through experience, but that is usually the long and the hard way. We can learn much faster and save ourselves from being hurt so often if we realize that our social lives are filled with problems of etiquette and that these must be studied. We must observe our own behavior, compare it with what is proper, and be certain that our habits are correct. Jerry's example in suggesting to Margaret a dish that she might like is one that Frank might follow. as he finally realizes since it tells Helen in a nice way how much he can afford to spend. This saves embarrassment all around. At last, Jerry is becoming aware that Frank and Margaret are not having a good time. He doesn't ignore the situation, but brings the problem out into the open. Margaret and Frank are forced to admit their own foolishness. After all, Helen and Jerry had simply been at ease during the dance and enjoyed themselves. They hadn't been any the less interested in their partners. There was absolutely no reason for jealousy. You notice that Frank is becoming more alert. He orders for Helen correctly. And maybe we can hope that he has decided to turn over a new leaf. This way is more fun. The meal has been happy. And now that everyone is happy again, the date is moving along as it should. The mistakes that have been discovered won't be repeated. And those that haven't yet been discovered will come to light as they pay more attention to their manners. But already they have learned some valuable lessons. Frank particularly, he has learned to begin with that he shouldn't let his fears stop him from asking for the date in the first place and that he should ask right away, not fret about it. He is glad now that he learned a little more about selecting a corsage and about how he should dress. He has still to learn how to be easy during introductions and in making ordinary conversations, but you saw that he was quick to pay the bill, including a 10% tip, and that he found it pleasant to help Helen with a wrap. On the way home, there are no problems. They are happy in knowing that this is just the beginning of happy times ahead. Jerry not only sees Margaret home, but opens the door for her. And then, well, they've been going steady for some time now, and there are some customs that are very enjoyable. But now, Frank has a new problem. Should he try on a first date, he makes certain that he helps Helen from the car correctly. She waited properly for him to come around the car. He sees her to her door and thanks her for having gone out with him. And he remembers to open the door for her. No, he should not try to kiss her good night. Not on a first date, but he does ask her for another date soon. Helen is quite happy to accept. So, their first date is a definite success. Our ending is only a beginning of other dates to follow. of a new attitude toward manners. [Music] [Applause]