JIM HAWTHORNE’S FUNNY WORLD

[Music] one of the fiercest Pier Six brawls in ring history took place recent when KO cat Tangled with killer angor in The Grudge Fight of the century they traded punch for punch and neither gave an inch until the final Bell Killer's paw was raised in Victory but a rematch seems assured as Ko's managers scream they smelled a rat [Music] somewhere good building movers are hard to find but the enterprising Marvin slide roll unded by the shortage has gathered around him the best building movers in all building movom now he has the funny World Symphony entertain here he lets them dress comfortably and furnishes the most ideal conditions the job of moving this 102 story building to the empty lot on the corner can now proceed and probably will be resting comfortably on its new site in a few years good thinking maroy where there's a will there's a away move that building trans incidental Airways are inaugurating through flights from coast to coast without a single stop trans incidental president Kookie kenimer demonstrates that children will be permitted to fly free from Tuesday to Thursday now this great time saer is only one of trans incidental services they also give free lessons in Wing hopping it will save time when you fly no more waiting for that plane transfer in the air see how easy it is the funny world Bureau of standards and Testing Laboratories put this box through the most rigid tests here we see staff members and the FW Security Police watching a test during which this box will be subjected to the harshest treatment possible including kicking stomping jumping and walking on it in all kinds of weather now if the Box survives these exhaustive tests it will be approved so the next time you see a wooden box remember to look for the FW seal and also remind yourself of the hours of testing by this devoted staff funny World salutes you super box [Music] [Applause] testers 11 117 [Music] funy World takes you to inner spring Indiana where a course in mattress testing is offered by inner spring you and these exclusive FW films show the Intensive training required to turn out mattress testers in sufficient quantities L we fall behind the rest of the world in this critical area special instruction in ticking tearing and button popping make inner Spring graduates particularly desirable and they command salaries 35% higher than the nation's average in this field this is indeed an age of [Music] [Applause] specialization ladies and gentlemen you are about to witness a portion of a rare Motion Picture find recently Unearthed by the funny World archaeological Society technicians have restored these films that are over 3 million years old of the Titanic struggle between the prehistoric brosaurus and the pyan cantos these primordial jungle fans mortal enemies engage in this Herculean battle for their very existence funny World realizes that it will be criticized for exhibiting such violence but feels it has a duty to the community we hope you are not [Music] offended funny World cameras were on hand recently when Arch criminal 136 time loser was transferred to a security prison Upstate Arch defiant as always told his captors no maximum security plan would hold him judge Julia Juris Prudence admonishes Arch to be a good sport and do the 199 years like a gentleman and despite all the special precautions taken people on the ground were appalled to look up and see one of the most daring getaways in history he is still at large and it is speculated he hitchhiked on a passing jet while funny world does not condone time it is impressed by Enterprise and resourcefulness so with some qualification We Salute Arch criminals that's right Arch Barcelona Texas funny world's annual Dairy and livestock show got off to an auspicious beginning when prize golden gnes were led into the judging Circle by their proud owners The Lovable bossies were awarded blue ribbons for a number of quarts A Day coloring confirmation and of course willingness to cooperate dog may be man's best friend but we say the kindly cow runs him a close [Music] [Applause] second [Music] here we are in primate Pennsylvania where 11-year-old Ralph ripen air to the ripened banana Fortune was recently feated at a birthday party given in his honor by his father banana Tycoon Mr Tycoon is rumored to have spent over $75,000 on this affair which was the social bash of the Season Ralph and his friends cavorted around the pool during the day and danced all night to the music of socialite band leader orang Wan thei dinner consisted of such Oriental Delicacies as peanut butter on a flaming so happy birthday Ralph from your friends at Sunny [Music] World vertigo Virginia Hugh manfly mayor of vertigo undaunted by an elevator power failure goes to his office as usual as Hugh put it it's just what the burgers would expect of me mayor manly vertigo's chief executive loses no time getting to work and here Hugh stops to catch his breath for a moment our equally undotted cameraman autofocus left a party to record the event Mayors all over this funny world can well be proud of their fraternity there's Otto hi Otto a new blue surge suit with the built-in shine it's for fashion experts everywhere hey it might catch on pilot Phil flyshacker forgot his lunch the other morning and had to radio a friend to pick up the Forgotten peanut butter sandwich from the fly shacker kitchen table now the friend obliged but when Phil went down to get it he discovered it was tuna fish and angrily knocked it from his friend's hand oldport Rhode Island the annual oldport Mozart Festival got underway as the brilliant funny World Symphony Orchestra and OCT capella Society sang and played their way into the hearts of music lovers everywhere the group under the expert tutelage of funny world's head janitor Carol C cacophony had practiced daily for a year and were primed for this International Event an oldport Barber Shop quartet won the coveted award and we're sorry to report our guys finished out of the money cacophony in an emotional Outburst told the Press it's only as stinky little metal anyway I'm just sorry for the [Music] [Applause] kids e [Music] hither to unreleased candid films of a notorious ring of artillery thieves show them selecting a new leader the new Chief is initiated in a strange right an alarm is sounded as funny World Security Police close in contractors who forgot to build a basement in this 60-story office building obtain the services of Palms Jackson internationally famous building Pusher he will push down until the first floor becomes the seller and so on the operation will probably take all [Music] summer Annapolis India the wife of crack race driver Gordon crankcase pleads with Gordon to give it all give it all up for her sake Mrs crank shouts to her husband who ignoring the exhortation is only spurred on to Greater speed but he loses he claims because of the distractions a new dance craze sweeps the country it's a simple dance requiring little foot motion now these gorgeous models are demonstrating the technique notice the rhythmic motions and the fluid swanlike Grace uh she's the third one from the left her full name is Grace swanik the noted dance instructor Mr Hopper known to his friends as Claude Hopper puts the girls through the paces after long tedious hours of teaching the girls are ready for the big time and they'll soon be seen on your TV screen the rapidly diminishing herds of reindeer that once roam the Northwest have troubled zoologist Donner and Blitzen since he was a small boy Mr Blitzen was determined to do something about it and pledged to devote his life to a solution funny world's cameras were on hand recently when Donner announced that he had successfully train the common variety of African lion which all agree there is an overabundance of to do everything a reindeer can do including guarding a sleave Dasher as Donner calls his rain lion still finds it difficult to accept any role other than king of the jungle but seemed willing to learn the demonstration failed to produce any orders for rain lions and Donner and Blitzen and Dasher returned home rather sadly as you can see Dasher has that hang lion [Music] [Applause] look [Music] active men will be interested in the new innovation in self-sealing pants Pockets which close automatically when turned upside down now this device prevents your change from spilling out on the floor and this demonstration shows these dump proof pockets are practical despite the protests of first manufacturers who say they are a fad inventor Titus gabardine says he'll be in production in a [Music] week turnabout Tennessee Wally wet flippers and Son Wally Jr are the world's first trainer seals together they teach men to play Yankee Doodle on the pipes and bells and catch fish in their mouths the wet flippers have remarkable patience and are now working on a very difficult trick they will train a man to dive out of a pool pick up a bugle play the called colors as he raises a tiny flag on a cute little flag pole it should be quite a trick if they can do [Music] it Kure Colorado hopeful entries in the Miss billboard contest line up for the judging as a panel of tattoo experts examine the girls closely now these tattooers will select one from the group and at professional rates she will travel around the world displaying such messages as Eat At Joe's Smoke L Roos and vote Yes on proposition [Music] no and there's the winner Shirley shoulder blades displaying the form that won her the coveted title Shirley will prove conclusively that it does pay to advertise that is on Shirley if you don't believe it takes physical stamina and courage to become officers in the funny World Navy you just look at these Cadets as they enter the funny World Naval Proving Grounds the Grim looks of dogged determination and the square cut jaws of these recruits as they are subjected to one ordeal after another should prove forever there is no place for a [ __ ] in the FW Navy we at funny World feel safer with them guarding our seas [Music] glad to have you aboard [Music] [Applause] men [Music] 121 our funny World cameras take us to the Chessy cat toothpaste Factory where at last we can see how they get the toothpaste into the tube here we see expert tube fillers highly trained technicians who have been selected for their extreme skill and delicate touch as they fill 1,000 tubes a minute from this giant H industrial science Marches On test pilot Irving flap of futility aircraft scores another first after months of fighting through red tape Irving at last has been awarded an exclusive license to operate the first Messenger Service between here and the moon Irving stands by his spaceship just waiting for someone to send a message good luck Irving in buggy Beach Bavaria where the bugs are a real headache our funny World research department has shown testing a new kind of headache pill being made of thooral metaphil containing lead these pills have a money back guarantee if any bug is ever hit by one of the things it's guaranteed he'll get a headache a big bouquet to our funny World research Department [Music] a funny World salute to Homer hogwash who has the world's most dangerous job Homer's job is feeding the man eating South Tasmanian Square bareheaded fiters although these vicious beasts are slow the danger lies in their ability to hypnotize anyone who looks at them so we salute Homer hogwash who's been feeding these terrible creatures for 17 years without ever looking at one of [Music] them funny world's cameras show the latest thing in figurines just the thing to decorate your manle Beast there are many figures to choose from instead of this statuette showing the Finish Line at Kentucky Derby you may have a genuine replica of L dad bung inventor of the bung starter or a 60ft bronze Tableau showing Lefty K making his famous TouchDown for Slippery Rock for further information write big Marble Head funny world [Music] [Applause] 122 [Music] a funny World salute to deep sea diver Plankton floats when Swimmers at Kookie Beach Carolina complained about holes in their bathing suit Plankton found the trouble at once giant underwater moths were eating the bathing suits a plankton Brave and Fairless carefully places giant moth balls in the ocean to eliminate these UNC monsters Plankton float hero of the [Music] week funny world's cameras focus on an exciting toy boat race in the neverglades these clever wind up imitation speed boats actually looked like the real thing of course the most unusual fact is that these plastic people so closely resemble real people they are the work of world-renowned doctor's liony L shape and Dudley [Music] crease notice the crowning achievement of the two men as their most spectacular result to date actually heads for the beach in a simulated Landing who knows next they'll be making plastic grass and plastic sand and plastic fire even plastic [Music] surgeons this long thin Ballroom almost stumped inventor Ludwig flip Ludwig looked the problems Square in the locomotive and decided to put wheels on his brain child thus the world's first mobile dance hall was born now it is is possible to board Ludwig's traveling dance Palace in New York and speed all the way to New Jersey in a period of less than a week this fabulous dance step Ludwig is demonstrating Here is known as the cho cho cho Cha Cha Cha and a 10 cents a dance it's cheap chap chap for Choo Choo Cho cha chaa straight from the marsh swamps of lower pandemonia our Ace cameraman autofocus has brought us these exciting pictures of the world's two remaining prehistoric monsters these films show a terrible flyh handed go Wing fighting a ferocious pyy water [Music] buffalo funny World salutes autofocus photographer of the year that's not Auto [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] there 123 [Music] in the dark Jungle of Last Chance Nevada these two witch doctors are scolding their tribe for having bad habits while the 83-year-old witch doctor on the left chance what the bad habits are his father keeps time on the Hogan twangers I'll translate for you that ancient wise [Music] saying TV in TP uh which means if you don't put the top back on the toothpaste you'll get no television for a [Music] week [Music] a new recreational program for the US Cavalry in this clever game of skill whoever is it lights the fuse on a 12lb bomb now the idea is to throw the bomb to another player before it goes off if any player can carry the bomb to the other side of the field and back again he shouts Ali Ali oxen free it's loads of fun and it separates the men from the boys uh rather [Music] suddenly players affectionately call this game the last time I saw Paris in honor of its inventor George [Music] Paris a special tribute to our cameraman autofocus here in his hometown of Gadget Bag Kentucky the folks pay tribute to Otto for his great contribution to photography you see Otto has invented a left-handed camera so now everyone can take pictures congrats to auto [Music] focus this cleverly designed swimming pool vacuum has seats for three people as it cleans this lovely pool the owner happily throws in chlorine tablets in these exclusive funny World films we see how golf champion Gregory divot makes his famous winning stroke after conserving his energy by traveling in a special caddy cart Gregory approaches the ball with perfect form notice his tailor made golfing togs which gives him freedom of out the arms and here he goes it's going to be another perfect shot by Gregory divot world champion [Music] golfer funny World salute you [Music] [Applause] Greg [Music] la and now a close look at Chief concrete tester tender Noggin of the Sandy base Construction Company tender is about to swing into action as his fellow workers help him on with his testing helmet making sure there's a snug fit tender has devised his own method for testing brick and concrete there he goes testing the strength of this brand new Smoke Stack designed to last 100 years We Salute tender Noggin concrete tester par [Music] Excellence this huge Airship on the bottom is being held against the smaller airplane on top by a marvelous new airplane glue of unbelievable strength Chief test pilot Irving flap now at the controls of the smaller plane on top shows his confidence in this fantastic Glue by loading the lower air plane with 143 tons of lint and daring to fly with nothing but glue between him and the plane below the 143 tons of lint proves too heavy so instead they plan to load the plane next time with chicken feathers once again funny World scores a news beat with these thrilling action pictures taken by Ace cameraman autofocus these men are actually welding and mounting an outside cover on a new home count on funny world to bring you thrill after thrill these secret films were taken last week by Intrepid funny World Cruise of photographers on location at the world famous deceit Nebraska Toy Factory here in deceit these lifelike toy soldiers are being tested if approved these very toys you see will be on sale at toy stores all over the world to determine whether or not you are buying a lifelike manufacturers urge you to look at the label for the famous deceit sign it isn't very often funny world's executive staff finds time to break away from busy office routine so they usually call in Barbers to shave them while continuing their work without interruption shown here is Clyde K funny world's exciting expensive Hollywood correspondent Clyde just returned from an assignment with a film company making a new Jungle series he was gone with them on location in the jungle for 17 years K has taken on some of the Native characteristics of the Jungle but he's still the same old lovable Clyde we knew funny World salutes its own Clyde [Music] k [Music] 92 funy World takes you inside the worn out Brothers movie company and this spaceship is going on location to the moon and these technicians are putting wild wolves aboard the ticker tape is feeding out information about weather conditions so they'll know which route to take the animals will be used in all the night scenes which will show 10,000 wolves howling every time the Earth comes up the name of the movie will be Shine On Harvest earth starring Rock crater and lunar Turner worn out Brothers scores again this is bird watcher Winfred weasel wump watching for a certain rare bird called the West Wind warped winged whistle woofer the only one on record was was seen by a 98-year-old man in the spring of at 6 as he lay waiting for the second appearance of hi's comet it's a rare bird to find and the reason Winfred wants one is that someone once gave her a book entitled The care and feeding of the West wi warped Wing whistle woofer and winr hates to throw away books don't give up [Music] Winnie this appears to be test pilot Irving flap of futility aircraft preparing to launch his new bluntnose mono flash which travels at the speed of light after months of waiting for the right moment Irving is now ready for the countdown 10 9 8 he can scarcely hide the joy in his eyes as he gets ready to push the button 4 3 2 at the last second an oldfashioned jet gets in the way and Irving calls it off for another day in these dangerous times where only the men of imagination can survive in a world of rigid economy and fierce competition we can't help but salute the enterprising Genius of Tom keeping who has cornered the market in the window washing industry in a bold attempt to increase business instead of going to the customer's house to wash the windows Tom moves the house to his Factory and for Rush jobs where the customer must have 24hours service Tom uses Atomic powered submarines to whisk the houses back and forth at Double speed a funny World salute to Tom Peeping window washer of the [Music] week [Music] [Applause] funny World brings you exclusive films of Irving flap test pilot for futility aircraft using exotic fuels Irving is about to test a new air mail delivery method with Super Rocket Power 5 4 3 2 1 here it goes dline Cony Island the largest group of professional models ever hired for one film commercial [Applause] [Music] here you see the latest in trunks now these are latest designs in swimware by mle of Beverly Hills worn by 126,559 professional models what a bill here we see famous high diver Fearless Frank plummet and the classic form that is won in 17 gold medals six loving cups five blue ribbons two wives a lawsuit torn ligaments sore back a horrible outlook on life fact I I get mad even talking about why don't we go on to the next film there huh funny world's Automotive Research staff puts the latest Detroit model through its Paces at Mud Hole Florida designed for getting into crowded picnic areas this sports model takes to water like a duck and when it comes to Mud this car has a ball [Music] our test driver Hobart smash is behind the wheel better watch it Hobart I think that other car is heading your way Hobart be careful for goodness sake watch it Hobart where are you calling Hobart smash Hobart come in Hobart here we are in sore heel Texas whatever happened to the wathon they went the other way men you're going the wrong way funny World shows you a walking race now this tiring test of endurance is made even more difficult by the new rules this year the rules are at no time can your feet leave the pavement sponsored by the fleet foot shoe repair company this race goes on both night and day over hill and dale and Sam and George and anybody else who gets in away but it's all worth the [Applause] [Music] work funny worlds what is it department is it an orbiting potato peeler a mobile clothes dryer is it a hair dryer for large heads frankly I don't know what it [Music] [Applause] is [Music] well it's a funny World here at our New York head office this is the funny World editorial and production staff at the annual summer party lots of fun dancing and no kissing games with blight Spirits the order of the day uh but tomorrow back to the office and uh no monkey business Slippery Rock Wisconsin an early summer has been predicted for slippery rock this year in light of the spring-like day that took the residents by [Music] surprise this unusual hot spell brought back memories of 1936 when when summer came on a Sunday and welcomed by everyone this Heatwave gave folks a chance to take those long walks and let their cares slide in Los Angeles Hobart mole inventor shows us his answer to the rapid transit problem individual personalized sewer carts using the city's existing sewer system the busy businessman leaves the house drops down a hole in the street and zooms away to the office watch your head there Hobart Nevada here we see the new Las Vegas gambling game vertical roulette see how this lady examines the ticker tape report of the day's odds even her husband has picked up the new game called vertical roulette and here is the plush Lounge at the casino now note the care with which they mix their cocktails measuring exact amounts you just can't hold a candle to service like this of course there's a gay crowd there as you can he this one filled with sand is known as a fliptop [Music] [Applause] [Music] clock there's a floating crap game and here is a lovely lady's wristwatch by cumbersome of Beverly Hills well here's Irving flap famous test pilot for futility Aircraft Company pictured here at the futility Proving Grounds at ups and downs England Irving proves that in spite of his ups and downs all right Irving he just can't get it off the ground another famous last from futility aircraft and funny world [Music]