Jake Johannsen on David Letterman 1980s KCST San Diego

Right away it was snack time, you know, and uh I was enjoying myself and I am I'm originally from Iowa >> and uh thank you. >> Thank Wow. Thanks. I haven't and I've been back for a while uh because it took me a long time to realize that we were free to go. [laughter] Uh so I wanted to get get out and uh but I I like to go back and see my my family is there. My my mom and my my dad and my father's even the mayor of our town. So that's very ex although it's a pretty small town so eventually everyone gets to be the mayor but uh he's the mayor right now actually they elect the mayor by radio and so last year dad was the fifth caller. Um yeah well we're very proud of him. He's a quick dialer and no one can take that away from him. Um but I miss him. I I've I've always gotten along well with with my family and now I even my girlfriend I get along pretty well. We Diane and I have been fighting lately. That's my girlfriend Diane. She has a job. Um but uh we had this recently I we had this fight. There was even a shaving accident involved. Um cuz you know I'm trying to do tooth that fight and then shave to go out and so I'm shaving as fast as I can with the razor which uh or normally I don't shave my forehead but uh I I like to skip over on the way to the other side of my face like you fly over Greenland to go to Europe. Um [laughter] yeah I I believe in skipping around as you say because I don't have a lot of whiskers but several are very clever. Um so I like to surprise him. Um, so I'm going as fast as I can. Accidentally the razor goes inside my nose. Um, yeah, don't ever put the razor in your nose, even as a joke. Um, cuz it's just not funny or to impress your kids, whatever you're Look, I'm a daredevil. Um, cuz you can before I even realized [laughter] Thank you very much. Um, you know, before I even knew the razor was in my nose, I cut that ridge. Well, kind of a ridge of skin. Yeah. Oh man, it's Yeah, it's one of the worst. You know, I didn't even know I was cut and I I was making that sound in the mirror. [laughter] Well, you know where you just wish you could take your brain out and let it flop around in the tub for a couple of seconds. Um and so, uh right right away I figure, well, I've got to wash it, you know, cuz it's my nose gateway to the inside of my head. So, uh, [laughter] I I go, so I I I get the soap and water and I put that makes it even worse to touch it with that. So, my knees are buckling. So, I felt like, well, if it stings when you wash it, that means you have to disinfect. So, um, [laughter] yeah, I go and get the rubbing alcohol. And, uh, yeah, if only you'd been there to stop me. Um, [laughter] it was a just to touch it with that alcohol was like the most unbelievable sense. I [screaming] was a whole another plateau. Uh, I I did a backflip. I mean, which uh I can't even do. I went right over a tremendous arc. No spotter. And uh [laughter] so now so now at this point I'm like a shivering naked lump right by the toilet. And I can't stop making that sound, you know. But uh then Diane from the other room goes, "What happened in there?" And that was the worst, you know. Nothing nothing happened. Luckily, I was able to convince her I was okay cuz in a fight, if you show weakness at that point, she'll swoop in for the kill. Um but uh very So I'm I'm all right now. And uh and I feel good. I'm having a good time. I got dressed up. I have some products in my hair. And uh [laughter] I feel I I just want to be part of it. That's all I I was out today. We saw I this guy parts of his head shaved completely off and then uh well, not parts of his head, parts of his hair. He didn't have a big rut in his head or anything like that, but uh it'd be handy for when it rained though. Kind of a little gutter thing. Uh [laughter] waterfall right over his eye. Very beautiful. Um, but he had the shaved areas and then the rest was random tufts of hair just going out. [laughter] Basically, they were trying to get away from his head is my theory. And uh I mean it looked like the barber had just said to the guy, "All right, I'm going to cut your hair. You try and get away if you Thank you very much. [cheering] >> [applause] [applause] [cheering] [applause] >> very funny. Thank you. >> Nice job. >> Um, [cheering] [applause] you uh you mentioned you're you're from uh from Iowa. You have your family, I guess, is still back there. You have a big family. Oh, well, a small family. They would like me to have more children. And then Diane is all she has this urge with. It's more than a It's like a biological clock where now every couple of months she'll come up to me with babies [clears throat] now, babies. And >> [laughter] >> uh it's Oh, I mean, what do you say back to that as a babies? How about some juice? [laughter] Uh she's crazy with him. Um, have you known Diane a long time? >> Um, >> I can't even remember now. I just, uh, I want to take a shower. Okay. >> Um, [laughter] but, uh, >> uh, and you're living in San Francisco, so that's a big difference between, uh, Iowa and San Francisco, I'm guessing. >> Very. Yeah. Big. I had to stop. I had an earring when I lived in Iowa, you know, and I had to stop wearing that because um well, I mean, we got in Iowa, we all got our ears pierced because we thought we'd look like pirates. >> And a different deal in San Francisco. >> Uh we we got to do a commercial here. We'll be right back. [applause] >> It's man against [music] machine at the Silver Bullet. >> Blue, what is this thing? >> Oh, it's our new punching machine. And watch this. Put your money in here. Fly goes on.