In the Life: LAFD Captain Michele Kammerer

[Katherine Linton] As coming out in the workplace becomes more and more common, gays and lesbians continue to break down stereotypes, about sexual orientation. Next, you'll meet a woman who also contradicts several stereotypes about gender. Not only is Michele Kammerer, a woman firefighter, she is also a fire chief. Second in command at Company Number 63, in Venice, California. Over the years she has climbed to the top of her profession, all while undergoing some major changes. [Electric guitar music] [Mathew Gatewood] Most people, today, because the way society is, will look at, she's a female captain, before they'll look at her skills. [Michele Kammerer] I've been a firefighter for 27 years. It's been my, uh, life for a long time. I've been a captain since 1978. [Kammerer] First line supervisor on an engine company, fighting fire with my crew. I'm the, uh, captain on Engine 63. [Kammerer] Being in a fire, inside of a building on fire, at a brush fire, with a lot of exciting fire and activity, It's, it's an adrenaline producing and, it's great. And if, you know, I've paid the price too. I have, uh, permanent lung damage. [Kammerer] I have, uh, a herniated disc. I've had, I've been burned. I've had ceilings fall on me. I've, uh, broken my wrist. Um, it's a dangerous job. [Walter Franklin] We are looked at many times in the public as basically male, [Franklin] uh, big, strong and, um, masculine, I think is our image. Well, women in the fire service is a fairly new phenomena. And, um, the fire service, just as the fire service resisted, you know, ah, afro-american people. They've really resisted women in the fire service. They don't have trouble working with her. Um, they have difficulties in understanding her. [Gatewood] There wasn't a letter that came in that said, you know, hey, Michelle, Kammerer is a lesbian on the fire department or anything like that. [Kammerer] Being a gay or lesbian has been such a, uh, [Kammerer] closeted thing for so many years. [Kammerer] Uh, it's such an unknown and queer and weird thing, that, uh, there's a lot of fear around that. If she had come to me and basically, tried to shove her lesbianism down my throat or, or demand some type of different treatment because she is a lesbian, then, I'd have probably had a problem with it. Is it threatening because their own masculinity or their own femininity is threatened? Is it because, people in super macho occupations have very fragile masculinities in the first place. [Savitri Carlson] The men feel and women here feel very stressed out having a gay and lesbian, uh, captain. And gay and lesbian living... Have to realize, this is not just a job. We live, sleep, shower, eat together, change together. [Carlson] So it's not just a job. We live together, 10 days a month, our whole lives. They're forced to live with a lesbian. Yes. And it doesn't rub off. That was part of, part of the reaction, you know, it seems to me that some of the fear about being around gay and lesbian people, [Carlson] But they respect her as a good firefighter and a great captain [Carlson] So, there's tolerance and respect. [Carlson] But there's definitely no support for her here. It's hard for her. There was people that refused to work overtime, uh, on my shift because I was there, and weird, or whatever. [Kammerer] So the women's locker room is a fairly new thing here. [Kammerer] We have three women working here, myself and two other paramedic women. So we have a temporary sign saying women's locker room. And then somebody put up this sign that says, [Kammerer] female and male, occupied, unoccupied. [Kammerer] But, I hate this sign. Because it's redundant. Then somebody put a screw in here so you can't change it. So it's always female. [Kammerer] Occupied or unoccupied. [Kammerer] It's so bizarre. [Tom] Have a nice day. I used to work with Tom's brother. Tom's brother was a paramedic here when I was a male fire captain. So this is my second time here as a captain, uh, and, uh, first time as a male, second time as a woman. It is kind of shocking and confusing for people that you know, I'm here. Um. I was a heterosexual man, man, and now I'm a woman, and still chasing women that you know, huh? Where does that come from? So that's confusing to people. They can't separate sexual orientation from sexual identity. It's, they're two separate things. So my sexual orientation really didn't change. It's my sex that changed. So my interest in, and my, and my attraction is to women and always has been. They do not understand how she could be a lesbian. Having changed her, her, uh, physical being, into a female, and still, um, having a desire sexually towards female. This drawer reminds me of my life. It's quite cluttered. [In the Life Reporter] So, tell us about your life. [Kammerer] My life. [sigh] Wow, my life, my life. [Harmonica music] [Kammerer] Had a very problematic childhood. [Kammerer] because my gender identity from as early as I can remember has been, [Kammerer] girl, woman, female. And I was, uh, born, uh, with male genitalia and I was a normal male [Kammerer] baby and child and so I was extremely confused. Um. Fearing embarrassment, shame and being beaten, I didn't, uh, you know, I couldn't express myself or ask my, ask my parents or my mother to dress me up as a girl, because, that's what I thought I should be or who I was. So I kept it all inside for many years. And, and I secretly cross-dressed. [Kammerer] I felt certain as I, as I grew up that it was a woman, as a woman. I am a woman. [Kammerer] In the meantime, I got um, I was in the Navy. [Kammerer] And uh, married a sweetheart from high school. [Kammerer] We had two kids. And then I decided to keep exploring myself and growing and trying to figure out who I am. [Kammerer] When I came out of the closet and became a woman full time. [Kammerer] I was in a little fire station not far from here with a crew of three people underneath me. It was very difficult for them. And it's very difficult for a lot of people to make that switch. [D. Mark Wallace] Has it been hard? No, it hasn't been hard at all. She's just, you know, it's just another person to work with, as far as I'm concerned. Um. Comfortable? It's just, um, like something I've, that most people don't come across in their day-to-day life, you know, so it's a little different. [Franklin] We had a person the other day, that [Franklin] that could not, work with her. He had some real psychological hang-ups from just being around her. [Franklin] Uh, just because he knew her, [Franklin] when she was a man, and he couldn't handle it. So he had to go home. And I've had to deal with those old feelings of sharing a locker room with a man I've known for 15 years that changed into a woman and now, she has feelings for women and yet I'm changing in the locker room with her. I had to deal with those feelings. I think, being a lesbian, was in my favor. Because I was far less threatening, than if I had transitioned and become a woman, and then suddenly was interested in dating men. I think the firefighters would be, would have been a lot more uncomfortable, because of the homophobia and the fact that they may have thought that, you know, I would, you know be scamming and trying to pick up men. [Kammerer] Often, I've tried to be as accommodating as possible, and, uh, [Kammerer] sometimes I will get my bedding and I will put it on the floor in like the workout room or the weight room. [Kammerer] And sleep in there. [Alarm] Anyway, that's what I've done. [Alarm] And that's an alarm coming in. [Kammerer] It seems to me I was very successful in my transition, uh, from male to female. [Kammerer] Because I had such a good, um, [Kammerer] reputation, you know, as a strong worker and a productive firefighter. [Carlson] She sheds a good light on gay and lesbian in the workplace because she's positive, energetic, very professional, hard-working, devoted. [Carlson] And so, it makes it a heck of a lot easier than to somebody who might have, you know, not been the caliber that Kammerer is. [Finale music]