In the Life: Ep. 701, "Back to School: Youth and Education"

on this edition of In The Life it's back to school with lesbian and gay youth finding support and helping themselves a revealing look at xgay Ministries and a Frank talk with the stars of in and out we're gay we are all up next on in the Life America's line on lesbian and gay issues and culture in the life is funded in part by the H van amaran Foundation additional support provided by Jonathan B Sheffer Jeffrey B sorif Richard Winger the Mitchell Gold company in the hopes of eliminating all types of discrimination and Prejudice the zabaco catalog lesbian and gay Community Fund working to make schools safer for lesbian and gay kids Nationwide and in the Life members across America welcome to season number six of in the life I'm Katherine Linton with young people back in the classroom this Premiere focuses on Youth and education gay and lesbian youth are often ostracized and isolated both at home and at school and studies show an alarmingly high number of these kids are victims of violence homelessness even suicide but just as compelling is the movement against such intolerance despite opposition from conservative quarters gay youth are joining forces with straight peers and sympathetic adults raising questions about education and responsibility on this episode of in the Life you'll meet students who are coming out and coming together to promote a dialogue about gay issues we'll also visit some safe spaces where young people can talk openly about gender and sexual identity and you'll get a history lesson you won't find in most textbooks it's as if we don't exist in history then we don't really exist in the present we begin with the most serious issue facing gay teens the disproportionately high number of suicides high school for any kid is an emotionally charged and challenging time a place where rejection from peers can prove devastating two years ago an Oscar award-winning short entitled Trevor brought attention to the issue of gay teen suicide and to the overall experience of kids who don't quite fit in I cover up the Whiley 13-year-old Trevor is fascinated by two things Diana Ross and his best new friendship with pinky in the film it quickly becomes clear that his friend ship is more than friendly and his interest in the Arts a little too much word soon gets out that Trevor may be gay and Friends reject him well I think Trevor really looks at what it's like for anybody who's ever felt like they didn't belong and that they aren't understood and that no one will ever understand them and sort of the desperation that that can cause and please if it's possible PL in this love at my funeral it's my absolute fave Trevor in some way the sort of a warning call about what can happen to people when attention is not paid in some way when kids don't feel that they have any allies and know where to turn for understanding and support in our story Trevor's lucky Trevor makes it through and he's also an incredibly optimistic kid finally and fundamentally after this experience I think that he's got you know a great life force and that that's finally wins out for him in the film um but I think other people aren't so lucky I think Prejudice can kill Trevor was of course fictional we take you out of Cleveland where a young boy named Robbie Kirkland really lived Robbie like Trevor was artistic and not athletic and was teased and tormented there was one major difference Robbie Kirkland succeeded in taking his own life Robbie was basically playful would like to improvise and make things up he was a very fun loving delightful child and basically very shy all and all very shy at a young age Robbie also knew he was Different Robbie was 10 when he knew that he was gay according to his therapist when Robbie was in third grade he asked to be transferred to another school another Catholic school he was being teased on the playground when he was in maybe second grade I took him to a therapist for counseling to deal with the teason and harassment um he would come home with his clothes torn the pants scrapes on him a rock was thrown at him I'm dying and no one cares I try to stand and walk I fall to the hard cold ground it feels as if to life I am no longer bound the others look and laugh at my plight blood pours from my nose I am not a pretty sight the pain is unbearable the world is not fair I I'm dying and no one cares as Robbie got older he rarely told his parents of his experiences in school he was very uh quiet about stuff that would bother him uh and I don't really to this day I really don't know why uh whether he would think that we'd think negative of him I don't think so I just don't think that he thought it was something that you know I'm going to run to Mom and Dad every time somebody hurts my feelings Robbie found that the safest place to express himself was in his writing his best friend from Camp became his main Confidant dear Jen I'll tell you why people made fun of me I haven't told anyone else this and it's a secret you see I talk different you know I have a slight lisp s has come out th's and well I'm kind of sucky at sports so people they don't do it often or have done it recently sometimes only like a few people have called me gay if you're not an athlete as a boy growing up it is harder and I don't this nothing to do with your sexuality this is everything to do with uh just boys being the way they are if you're a boy and you're an athlete you got one leg up the only place Robbie found where Sports and speech didn't matter was on the internet well when he went online he was going on you know to chat with other kids and you know just for fun you know there was fun things to do so we thought the Kirkland soon discovered however that Robbie was busy in gay chat rooms and downloading gay pornography when confronted he ran away Robbie ran away in March of 96 and where he ran to was to someone that he met online we we found the number in his bag and also there was a suicide note um which he had written in February he had attempted to commit suicide I I did not know this until I found this note with Tylenol he took a whole bottle of Tylenol I'll be dead by the time you read this it's 5:30 p.m. mom's at Mass whatever you find I'm not gay sincerely Robbie Kirkland the boy who told himself to put on a smile shut up and pretend you're happy it didn't work he was very depressed I later learned the reason why he tried to kill himself he had tried to like a girl at school trying to proved himself that he didn't have to be gay that this was something he could control and change so um we took him to the therapist and I said to the therapist if my son is gay I don't want you to change him this is the way God meant him to be I don't want him to live his life as a lie despite this support from home Robbie still had to face his grade school peers I yearn for high school because then I'll just be one face in the crowd and no one will notice me and I'll be left alone with High Hopes Robbie attended St Ignatius a Roman Catholic Prep School run by Jesuit priests in high school you know I I later learned that kids were already teasing him once he got to St Ignatius accusing him of being gay and and asking his best friend is he gay when Robbie Kirkland um when a young man is is gay at our school often enough we don't know that and I'm sure that there are that there is kidding that will go on sometimes good-natured and sometimes less so he just knew his future would be very very hard but had told the therapist that he had hoped to find a lesbian girlfriend to be his cover to get through high school but Robbie did not make it through even his first year of high school on January 2nd one week after Christmas with his family and only two days before he was to attend his first gay youth support group Robbie Kirkland went to his father's attic and shot himself he was 14 those 9 months you know when he ran away and took the to I think he had already given up on life he he was so unhappy it was too late almost so what I saw for the last 9 to 10 months of his life was a very depressed withdrawn a teenage boy what keeps this family going is the work of speaking out in an attempt to save other boys like Robbie nothing brings Robbie back uh but uh basically it's the right thing to do given everything that happened uh you know if I can help if it helps anybody if it helps any kid if it helps any parent if it helps anybody uh that's it's the right thing to do for Robbie's mother raising Awareness on the experiences of gay kids seems inspired by perhaps Robbie's shortest poem remember me I may be gone but I hope I'm not forgotten you know as I look back on it and I've thought about it I thought the the last nine to 10 months of his life was a gift to me from God because had he died with the tal andol I never would have known that he was gay I would have I I would have been so confused and you know why is my son dead I wouldn't have understood it so I mean I I wish it could have been a gift that he could have lived and been helped with therapy and anti-depressants but unfortunately it wasn't to be but at least I have the insight to understand so that I can reach out to the other kids like him who are suffering and hopefully they won't commit suicide and maybe change our society and change the schools just a little bit so other kids don't have to suffer like Robbie like Robbie did growing up as an openly gay youth today is still filled with tremendous challenges with teens facing rejection isolation harassment and violence according to three 1995 youth risk behavior surveys from Vermont Massachusetts and Seattle gay teens are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers and account for up to 30% of all suicides among American Youth there's still a long way to go before all lesbian and gay youth can grow up in a safe and supportive environment I'm Cherry Jones for in the life tragedies like Robbie Kirkland's have forced adults to examine the question of responsibility to Gay and questioning youth Robbie Kirkland's family is asking schools to offer the same measure of support that he received at home they are not alone in this demand as correspondent Tanya Barfield reports gay and lesbian students are in the Forefront of a national Civil Rights Movement by joining forces with straight teenagers and adults they've been instrum instumental in initiating a dialogue about responsibility to gay youth in the Life traveled to two states where gay straight alliances have met with different measures of success in conservative Utah the groups were ultimately banned from meeting in the schools but in Massachusetts the state government has taken some Progressive measures to protect the rights of teens before I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning instead of saying prayers I say one thing and that's I love Massachusetts Mass the Massachusetts story began in 1992 when gay activists asked Governor William weld to establish a commission on gay and lesbian youth we told him that we were very alarmed by the statistics that there was an epidemic of suicide among gay youth and that nothing was being done about it Governor weld agreed to form the commission and they decided to hold public hearings throughout Massachusetts on the problems gay youth face Karen harck author of gay and lesbian Educators and editor of coming out of the classroom closet served on the commission for two years probably the most exciting thing and the most important thing that we did in Massachusetts and that should be done around the country are the holding of the public hearings that the witnessing in public of what happens to kids in schools that you think as a parent or as a community member are safe is it's just astounding every day instead up hearing the word [ __ ] once or twice I've heard it said dozens of times and with an increase of verbal harassment came increas in phys physical attacks I was push kicked thrown against lockers and worst of all spit on like some vile piece of trash I'll never forget the the stories of the the kids who spoke at those hearings that was the turning point I think in the whole history of the the commission's work from the hearings came a groundbreaking report on gay issues in public schools and a safe schools program to implement its recommendations the commission then worked with students to lobby for a gay student Rights bill in 1993 Governor weld signed the bill into law which now prohibits discrimination in public schools on the basis of sexual orientation this unprecedented State support has allowed the commission to accomplish a lot for 3 years they've worked with students to organize a Statewide gay youth rally the only one of its kind in the nation welcome to the Third annual gay straight youth Pride March and more than onethird of Massachusetts 300 public schools have gay straight alliances today we celebrate an historic Milestone when the commission formed in 1992 only one or two public high schools had gay student support groups now today we're proud that over 100 high schools have gay straight alliances in Massachusetts and in this year's budget Governor weld has made over $1 million available to the work of the commission there is no other March like this in the country we are on The Cutting Edge of of of this kind of a a youth Pride um organization well we're on the governor's commission for Gay and Lesbian Youth and the youth committee and we helped plan the March I'm Sten Fox from the beginning the commission has stressed the leadership of students the decision to form alliances between gay and straight students came from their experiences I think that um a lot of the time people think that gay straight Alliance and gay straight youth Pride March that you know straight is just a word that they plug in there you know but it it's not it's it's I mean straight supporters are definitely an important part of the you know the gay movement and I think that people really discount that our alliance is at least two-third straight people which I didn't when when I joined I did not think it would be that which like it's it's very like good for me to know that there are that many St Kids that actually care about it we're hoping as a result of the March that the other 200 schools will start gay straight alliances it's one of our goals our many goals Massachusetts has been able to establish some important services for gay youth but what about other states for years Karen Harbeck has traveled the country lecturing on the legal rights of gay students and Educators we ask F to compare Massachusetts with more conservative States I think you'd find my answer odd because in many ways the Midwest and the far west is working on this issue in a Grassroots manner that is just remarkable one of those states with an active Grassroots Community is remarkably Utah we caught up with Karen Harbeck in Salt Lake City where she was invited to speak at the fourth annual conference of the family fellowship in organization of Mormon parents parents we are here under the opes of a Mormon support group of parents who have gained lesbian Youth and and who support gain lesbian Youth and it is awesome in Utah where a conservative Mormon tradition governs most aspects of Life gay and lesbian students must challenge not only their schools but also their church but in a place where you'd least expect it Mormon parents of gay children began meeting years ago to talk about how they could reconcile their religion with their love for their children these parents are fifth generation Mormons well our dilemma is very clear we have five children uh the youngest of which Eric is gay and knowing someone in your own family and loving someone in your own family puts a Different Twist on all the things that are said about homo homosexuality we have a great Mormon tradition and we love our church but when your ideals and beliefs collide with your sense of Injustice then you have a conflict in values and you have to choose which is the higher value and I don't think any religion should ask parents to turn their back on their children we have six children four of which are straight and two of which are gay and it's easy for us to recognize that our gay children don't have the same rights and opportunities that our straight children do this disparity was brought into focus when two years ago Kelly Peterson tried to start a gay trade Alliance in her school the basis of this club is to end hate intolerance ignorance and fear in 1996 the Salt Lake City School Board made national news when it prevented the alliance from forming by banning all non-curricular clubs around the same time Karen harck was in Utah giving a lecture and I talked about the federal equal access law and how we can have a gay straight Al iance in every single public Secondary School in the nation tomorrow if young people knew their rights the federal equal access law is an obscure law with far-reaching consequences it was passed in 1984 by President Reagan to allow prayer groups in public schools Christians went to Ronald Reagan and said we can't have Christian prayer groups in public secondary schools isn't that a shame it's immoral and Reagan said I agree but laws have to be neutral on their face so they crafted a law that said if a student asked for a club that was open to all students and was nonviolent and followed school rules that you had to permit the club to form and exist with all the rights and entitlements of every other student club or you had to cancel all the extracurricular clubs and athletic events so when school officials were approached about a gay straight Alliance legally they either had to allow it or ban all non-curricular clubs the teacher who was helping us warned us that this could be one incredible fight and that this could launch some very serious issues Nationwide we didn't believe her we thought nobody's going to care about us we'll just get our club it'll be over with and we'll start meeting and it'll be great we were very naive when we were younger Kelly became a very public lesbian overnight and unlike Massachusetts no groundwork had been laid and the community split apart why now are we being forced to have our children subject to this kind of corruption can you answer me that I am very very opposed to having this of nonsense in our school it was so ugly and people were so hateful you don't want to believe that there's that kind of hatred in your community you just don't want to hear about it I think what disappointed me was that I now have an experience of working at this so often that we can go into school districts and in an hour and a half try and create extensive systemic change and so this in Salt Lake City was an unusual situation where I'm lecturing to someone who doesn't understand what I'm talking about very well who goes into the school and says this person said and then it blew up luckily the family fellowship was already meeting we averaged five new families a week for uh about 6 months of people who called and wanted information and wanted to affiliate with family fellowship because of their outrage it was what was being done families are really important in our culture and uh we have a family and it's not the same anymore since this issue we aren't close there are things we can't talk about and as we talk to other parents they have the same problems um our families are really being torn apart now that Kelly Peterson has graduated from high school and gay trade alliances are still officially banned the family fellowship continues its work on the underlying divisions in their religious community I think that the church tries very hard to be be evenhanded about their treatment of all people they speak very strongly against homosexual sin but they say that everyone has a place in the church the truth of the matter is that that doesn't sit very well when your child is offended by the things that they hear at church look every relationship has a potential to be sinful or moral and in our view a morality of the relationship is based on the way it's conducted not on who is involved in the relationship and we think that's the way that God intended things to be Kelly Peterson's efforts to start a gay strad Alliance illustrate just how volatile it can become when gay issues come to school and when this discussion finally reaches the classroom there's very little in the way of curricul ulum to help guide teachers but now there's a new film called out of the past the first documentary designed specifically for high school students that deals with aspects of gay and lesbian history Kelly Peterson's experience frames the story as five historical gay figures step out of the past and into the classroom some of the most glorious people in in American history have been lesbian or gay but it's much easier to think that Henry James was asexual than to think that he was enamored of men and because of that we've been delivered a lot of lies in history we decided to make out of the past because one of my partners in the project and I really felt that U there was a conspicuous absence of material about gays and lesbians in American history around about that time I um heard about Kelly Peterson and I called her and we talked on the phone for a long time and it really struck me that a lot of things that she had experienced in Utah in 1996 had real direct parallels with the stories that we were telling some of them you know 3 and 400 years old so our idea was to tell Kelly's story and to use it as a thread linking the biographies together April 7th 1995 how do I tell my mother she has a queer for a daughter sorry Mom I like girls I wish I was like Derek everybody knows he's gay and he doesn't care I really admire that April 5th 1653 I find my spirit so exceedingly carried with love that I can't tell how to take up my rest in God Lord for this cause I am afraid of my Wicked heart fear takes hold of me Michael Wigglesworth one of the people we profile in the film is Michael Wigglesworth and he was a Puritan cleric and preacher in the early 17th century he kept a diar which he was talking about the torment that he was suffering because he was attracted to men as far as its link to Kelly she talked a lot about growing up in Utah and the Mormon church and how homosexuality was completely not acceptable and it really had a profound impact on Kelly and I think it really sort of informed the homophobia and the self-loathing she felt a survey was done a few years ago and you know out of a couple thousand pages of History texts that kids use in high schools uh the words gay and lesbian were not mentioned once if gays and lesbians are completely invisible then you know that's going to have a real impact on on a kid who's struggling with his identity on a kid who who thinks he's gay or lesbian even more sensitive than a gay curriculum maybe the issue of openly gay teachers but Hollywood has somehow turned this controversial subject into a comedy in the film Inn out a small Midwestern Town confronts its own homophobia when a popular teacher is inadvertently outed on National Television to Howard bracket from Green Leaf Indiana Oh My and he's gay throngs of movie goers have been pouring into Mr bracket's classroom these past weeks Mr bracket yes and as we take our own look at gay issues in schools we wanted to ask people behind in and out if they were aware of the subject's heed nature talking about gay issues in schools is one of the most contentious issues in America today really what do you think this film even though it's a light comedy might add to that debate the movie is obviously advocating tolerance and at the same time um I mean the issue of you know when they fire him from his job because he's gay and they think he's going to have some influence on the on the children he's going to let let out some kind of voodoo Vibe it's going to make them gay it's like it's it's so Preposterous are you what home Home Room teacher Kevin Klein's teacher is a teacher who happens to be gay who's a great teacher whatever whatever his sexual orientation didn't come up in the classroom till somebody else did it do you think it uh confirms or challenges gay stereotypes in any way I think there's you know stereotypes throughout the film and every character and I think Paul rednick was smart to do that in a way because it doesn't just pick on one person well on purpose we we we made stereotypes so we could have fun with them oh come on we wanted to be as politically incorrect as possible you know if they're in any way expecting a political tract or a liberal good deed or an Earnest civics lesson that that's in no way what they'll be getting that it is a romantic comedy in and out ventured everywhere poking fun at Brides it's really happening mothers I need some beauty and some music and some play cards before I die it's like heroin and small town High School principles Tom do I look like a homosexual would would would you walk for me the film also spoofed the coming out process as Mr bracket denies I'm not gay don't be there panics no I'll kill you and turns momentarily heterosexual how who's gay huh and for audiences who were hoping for an onscreen romance between Kevin Klein and Tom Cel we have to ask we're we're gay you know that's why we have to ask we we're gay no we're gay we're gay uh your character seemed unattached Why didn't at the end Go off into the sunset with Kevin Klein's character and this script took many forms and Paul rednick stayed with it who was gay took did I just out Paul I don't think so he's been on our show many times just kidding we've outed him before um the film star does offer hope for those wanting a celic Klein connection I think what is implied at the very end I think I think it's implied that they might very well have dinner does anybody here know how many times I've had to watch funny lady hi this is Joan Cusack and you're watching in the Life still to come on in the Life two groundbreaking safe spaces for gay kids in the Midwest and a day in the life of an urban youth Outreach worker but first so far we've been focusing on youth however the next set segment profile is a movement that is targeted mostly adults yet has profound implications for young gays and lesbians this story is the first of an ongoing series called in the line of fire on each episode this year we'll track the ongoing clash between gay rights activists and anti-gay forces linked to conservative groups in this country tonight we examine a movement that claims it can teach homosexuals to change their sexual orientation through therapy or by embracing Christ in June we traveled to Georgetown where conservative academics organized a conference entitled homosexuality and American public life amidst protests I believe myself that the gay movement is the spear point in the culture war against the judaic Christian value system the presenters of this conference whether intentionally or not are contributing to the climate of hostility and discrimination I Believe In Christ and I believe Christ has the power to change people obviously changing people from gay to straight through Jesus Christ is the mission of Exodus International whose members were among those attending the conference John pul a former drag queen is Exodus Vice President we have 85 agencies in the United States and in several foreign countries and in our 22-year history over 200,000 people have contacted Exodus agencies for help and information while The Exodus numbers seem formidable the percentage of people who change from gay to straight is Highly Questionable we don't keep statistical data like that we believe change is a process and a person will start at Point a and they will move towards point B um as soon as the person has made one step away from point A they've changed psychotherapist Richard Cohen specializes in sexual reorientation once gay and now married with children Cohen wrote a children's book to tell people his story I wrote Alfie's home to let children teens adults Educators and therapists know that the possibility of changing from homosexual to heterosexual exists the book tells the story of Alfie who grows up thinking he might be gay my Uncle Pete comes over sometimes he lives with us every now and then he's really kind to me holding me listening to me and making me feel loved one night when he was holding me he started touching my private parts when I became a teenager I started feeling really different from the other guys after a while I went to a counselor for help and advice I told him my story and that I thought I was gay he said I wasn't gay I just missed my dad's love and was taught wrong things by my uncle my belief is that homosexuality originates in unresolved childhood trauma and therefore homosexual feelings and desires are merely symptoms of these wounds Cowen is a member of the National Association for research and therapy of homosexuality it's an organization of professionals who believe that there is an ideology to homosexuality and therefore it can be changed that organization as we understand it is founded in the position that homosexuality is a mental disorder in 1973 the American Psychiatric association removed homosexuality from its Diagnostic and statistical Manual of mental disorders two years later the American Psychological Association passed a resolution supporting this decision I think the apas both have done a tremendous disservice to science and to the homosexual Community by taking out the diagnosis based on political pressure not scientific research to say that there was no scientific basis is uh absurd there has been a substantial body of research beginning in the late 50s with Evelyn hooker's groundbreaking research that has consistently shown over and over again if you compare a group of lesbian gay and bisexual people to an appropriate control group on any number of measures of psychological well-being Mental Health social adjustment Etc you find no differences this past July Exodus International held its annual conference in Wilmore Kentucky attracting 800 participants from all over the country almost 30 years after Stonewall and 24 years after the APA decision what makes thousands of people so unable to face their lives as gay men and lesbians I saw it help to change or to get fixed because I grew up believing that it was was a sin and that it needed to be changed as I started reading the Bible from beginning to end cover to cover it became overwhelmingly clear to me that that that in God's creative intent that he did not mean for me to be homosexual so that made a lot of sense to me and that's when I discovered Exodus in 1987 and I had never heard that a homosexual could change I thought the only way that you could Escape homosexuality was through death in late 1996 Outpost Ministry in Minneapolis produced this commercial which aired locally during the historic Ellen Coming Out episode if you're gay or lesbian and don't want to be There's Hope for Change many have left the lifestyle you can too I think that telling someone that there's an option to change is giving them false hope I mean there's certainly always the option to live contrary to how you feel and to who you are and I think there's plenty of people doing that for 5 years Jeff Ford was one of these people I tried everything I mean I I read every book I went to every conference I went through um with my wife you know numerous different um kinds of therapy and uh um believe I really gave it a fair shot over a 5year period of time after falling in love with his reparative therapy partner who now remains his life partner after 9 years Ford decided he no longer believed in the process I went to the board of directors at Outpost and exodus and told them that uh that I wasn't healed that I was struggling with same-sex fantasies that I had indeed been sexually active a couple of times um while I'd been director of the ministry and I didn't believe in this anymore while many become spiritually disillusioned after Exodus there are those who maintain their faith I still believe that I'm a Christian My Views have certainly changed I don't know that I can I can say that one way is particularly the the right way or the only way um but but spirituality is still an important part of my life as lesbian gay rights continues to make Headway in America the religious right has found a new Ally the ex-gay movement it comes as no surprise to us that the religious the religious right has become far more invested in this process the uh Christian right seems to be more willing to put a little bit of money into these Ministries and I fear exploit them to um then say hey thousands of people are able to uh be healed and changed therefore we don't need laws to protect gays and therefore um you know it's uh not fair to say that this is a orientation back in Georgetown activists discovered that the only route towards Mutual was dialogue we're here where ex queer get used to it I support you being happy and I support all the exg being happy because it's not everyone's not gay and I believe that you are happy now but if it ever comes the day that you're 32 35 years old and you haven't found this right just know that we exist and that we're here to help you we're not here to hurt you if you provide a promise for Change and that changing as many people as possible what you're ultimately trying to do is to get rid of a minority culture all you have to do is look at history to know that there have been a number of movements and leaders um who have attemp attempted to annihilate a race or culture I support you but I need you to support me and being happy and being who I am even if I want to do that forever and all my friends do too and what I'm saying to you is what I'm saying to you is you have hamburger and you think it's great I don't I'm a vegetarian Jesus could offer you fil Min unless Jesus can offer me like a smorgus board of veggie burgers and like a barbecue she's good she's this past August the American Psychological Association reaffirmed its basic principle that homosexuality is not a disorder or a mental illness one reason for this decision is the damaging effect this stereotype has on gay youth and the APA continues to affirm that no scientific evidence exists to support the effectiveness of any therapy that tries to change gay people to being straight and as the world's largest Association of psychologists they ought to know this is Steven Spinell for in the Life negative messages from any Source can be painful but when they come from one's own family home becomes a difficult place to be and as estimated 2 million USS in the United States are homeless and in New York gay lesbian and transgender kids make up a high percentage of the kids living in the streets the hetrick Martin Institute tries to address their very unique needs by using peers rather than adults to reach out to them correspondent Roger Williams spent a day in the life of one teen Outreach worker the face of Youth and the trappings of an illicit lifestyle often Mass the hardship suffered by gay and lesbian kids many of them make their money by selling sex enough to afford designer clothing and carry cell phones but it's a lifestyle of necessity not Choice all kids need a safe space and guidance adult Pier Outreach workers say the key to helping gay and lesbian kids is respect and understanding my name is Lulu Mitchell I live at home with my mother right now I was born in the Bronx raised in the Bronx I recently moved to Brooklyn not even recently like a couple of years ago I do know gay kids in the Bronx and the Brooklyn it's pretty hard they always got to watch their back sometimes people don't accept them all the time it's always you know the name calling little [ __ ] and punks and this and that you know what I'm saying and if you you know if you're a strong person you be like yeah okay whatever you know what I'm saying you don't listen to the name call and whatnot call me whatever you want i' I've really haven't been bothered by names in so many years brush that off what I'm saying my day is mainly I go go where the day takes me until I have to go to work but like today I woke up I called my friend and we went to the arcade my favorite video games are Street Fighter Alpha Area 51 video games are very fun but mainly it's the challenge you know what I'm saying it gets you pump in I do like to be challenged in life it keep makes you keep on pushing pushing for something not just average makes you go out and do something I had found out about HRI Martin in about 1995 a friend of mine had said that um he that he found the place where he could come and hang out and he was like I really want you to come so I was like okay and I came and he was like yeah it is why I like to hang out I'm safe here and he felt that he was safe because this is a place where other gay and lesbian youth can come and hang out and you know there isn't the worry about gay bashing or you know somebody you know teasing him I started working here December of 96 I am the youth Outreach coordinator and what we do is we go out to different communities and whatnot and we give out safer sex information excuse me would you like free time stuff to protect you you know because we're trying to just like stop the intervention of you know HIV and AIDS we hand out um foods and drinks you know whatever go and we have food and drinks and we're giving them out free yeah a lot of the times the kids that we do hand them out most of them are homeless they don't have a place to get their food you know some of them don't I I'm not speaking for everybody but you know a lot of them they don't have a resource you know like they they don't go home and eat a meal every night I know some of them go for a w without eating a lot of the times kids run away from home some of the kids you know happen to be Force the CH Force the kids and whatnot and they don't like that situation so they'll run away from home they'll find a place out here they stay out here the ones that have to run away from home is because their parents either won't accept them or they're afraid of them finding out or you know what I'm saying they they might get beat or they do get beat mainly because they're gay maybe bes like the condoms we hand out inside a surface X kit we have um four condoms four um dental dams finger cuts um a glove condom information HIV information and also information about the agency if you want to come back here I found out it's really cool you can also use it like a dental G right what you do is you slip off the fingers like that and split it up to the thumb all the way that and then it opens up you can use it just like just like you used the D down thank thanks for the demonstration also want to say if it's boring you're doing it wrong all right I'll keep that in mind all right later you know what HRI M say you come in you get your food and you know if when you go to the case management and like they find your shelter you don't want to go to that shelter I know that they'll definitely try to find a safe place for you where you won't get raped or you know I'm saying you won't have problems that you've had before at other shelters and saying they'll listen to your problems here they really care which is really cool New York City is a pretty crappy place sometimes and saying not everybody's the friendliest person in the world some of them resort to um the the stealing the begging the prostitution males and females both do it it's really hard I met this boy once and he said that he had just come up from Southern you know State and whatnot I think it was a situation with his parents you know so he had to leave so he came up here he found a place to live and it was a bad situation here you know the guy the guy was a jerk you know I'm saying you wanted him to have sex with him and he was like you know what I'm saying I want to do that the guy told him to get out because he wouldn't have sex with him so he left then I'm saying he's he's homeless now it's really crap I tried to get give him some comfort you know what I'm saying I conversation what not you know is least there's a little amount that I can do I'm saying I try to do whatever I can for him if you want this you want food you know I'm saying you can come into our agency or refer you to other agencies which you can go which is good you know sometimes like they like a lot of people regularly now a lot of homeless kids they come in and if they they can come to HMI and they can take their showers you know what I'm saying saying we can accommodate with you with showers clothing food you know what I'm saying friends and stuff like that not everybody that comes here is gay it is a gay you know agency predominantly gay and lesbian you know youth agency but everybody you know is open to come here and not everyone is gay I'm not gay everyone in the world oh no no everyone in the world of course everyone in the world is not gay now um I think they all think about being gay everyone in the world is questioning that's that's just a thought of philosophy of mind everyone is questioning everyone has had a sexual thought about being with the same you know sex that's always been in you know Society a a bad thing I say it's always being stereo stereo you know type as a a bad thing and it's it's not a bad thing it's just different from what not saying the main society thinks has to be changed at the beginning of this program we told you the story of 14-year-old Robbie Kirkland an Ohio boy who committed suicide because he felt like he didn't fit in Robbie's untimely death came just 2 days before he was scheduled to visit a gay youth support center where surely he would have met other teenagers struggling with similar feelings to end our show we travel to America's Heartland to profile two groundbreaking centers where adults and peers are offering gay youth the support and tools they need for survival I grew up in a very small town right outside of Indianapolis that's about as homophobic as you can get I know in my school in particular uh it's a constant it's an everyday battle just to get through the day and uh there's not a passing period that goes by that I don't hear Dyke yell down the hall and I know it's directed at me cuz I'm the only person out at school you go through the denial and I'm not gay there's no way I'm not gay you know there's just so much that goes through your head when you're growing up I mean I've had these feelings since I was like 5 years old I was like okay there's Barbie and Ken play again iy was the first gay lesbian group to have a a crisis line for for teenage children who are questioning their sexuality and we were the first in the country to have that hotline and I guess it makes me feel proud to know that something like this can happen here iy is one of the oldest gay youth groups in the nation we're very proud of that fact the Indiana youth group or iy is also unique and consisting of 10 chapters Statewide it was founded in 1987 by a couple Chris Gonzalez and Jeff Warner who have since passed away started off initially in Jeff and Chris's living room on very small meetings and and has grown to where we are today so uh this December we'll be celebrating our 10 year anniversary so we're very excited about that to be able to come here and be yourself and talk freely and uh not have to worry about what someone's thinking or what someone's going to say about you and with your parents not here it's just an incredible opportunity I have a different outlook on life now I mean before I came here I was just ready to drive my car off a bridge I mean I was real suicidal bunch of problems going on and my counselor just helped me a great deal in the last three weeks hey I can drive our youth are involved in our program as well it's my goal to make this as peer driven of a program as possible what Steve found in his work is a recent study that shows Indianapolis is not immune to the problems associated with most cities what they found in one month 500 youth living on the streets in downtown Indianapolis that was a staggering report it's staggering from my standpoint because then you start to look at some of the reasons those kids are homeless um many times sexual orientation issues are right up there with the top uh three for a reason a youth would leave their home another city facing similar problems is Minneapolis a city where many gay youth in the midwest land after leaving home I found an attorney and I sued my school one of them was Jamie nebz the safe school's Advocate and success ful plaintiff in the 1996 Landmark lawsuit against his Wisconsin high school for suffering anti-gay violence initially I ran away from U my hometown and went to Minneapolis in St Paul and after arriving there I realized that there was a center for G lesbian youth called District 202 and I immediately got involved what is District 202 it's a community center buy and for lesbian gay by sexual transgender Youth and allies my vision is that the youth Define it and that the youth have the vision for it um and that my job is just to help make it happen testing positive for the HIV virus sparked 29-year-old Michael kaplan's continued involvement with District 202 ASE of their new 7,000 ft space he oversees discussion groups HIV education socials and Outreach programs there's a general support group that meets in there there's a group for youth of color there's a group actually starting this month for de lesbian gay youth uh HIV positive youth Riot girls you name it mik iy youth have a major role in shaping the center the other pieces where youth helped to Define it is through hiring practices any adults that are hired here are hired with youth on the hiring committee youth were also involved in designing the new space which led to the addition of a bathroom for transgendered or questioning youth three bathrooms women bathroom gender neutral and then men's bathroom we started with two brought the drawings to the kids and the youth said you got to have a transgender bathroom brought it back to the Architects they're like huh they were very cool about it though because it's just a relaxed atmosphere you can just hang out do you know do what you need to do talk to other people who look like you you know and where you're not feeling ostracized you know people aren't like pointing at you without the I probably would have my jobs and I probably would be in a shelter or something or in jail or something I don't know unlike most youth agencies who say let us help you and provide the services District 202 says what do you want to do and how can we be of help with that a lot of times we don't have our families we don't have our communities to support us and so the gang lesbian Community is our family it is our community and they need to be there to advocate for us for safety for um for letting us be kids know used to doing it themselves you know so that's cool so we do make things yes from all of us at in the life thank you for watching and we'll see you next time in the life is funded in part by the H van amaran Foundation additional support provided by Jonathan B Sheffer Jeffrey B sorif Richard Winger the Mitchell Gold company in the hopes of eliminating all types of discrimination and Prejudice the zabaco catalog lesbian and gay Community Fund working to make School safer for lesbian and gay kids Nationwide and in the Life members across America