In the Life: Ep. 1609, "Voices of Pride"

[Michael Billy] Welcome to "In the Life." I'm Michael Billy. This month's show is a special encore presentation. I hope you enjoy it. [Announcer, over music] "In the Life," is funded in part, [Announcer] by The H. van Ameringen Foundation. [Announcer] And by, Arcus Foundation. [Announcer] And by the annual support of, "In the Life," members like you. [Theme music] [Host, John Amaechi] Welcome to "In the Life." I'm John Amaechi. And it's my privilege to host this evenings program celebrating June Pride. It's especially exciting for me, since this is my first Pride as an openly gay man. As an NBA player I became skilled off the court in leading a closeted life. I wanted to guard my secret, that I was a gay athlete. I officially came out four months ago when my book man-in-the-middle was published. It's been thrilling and gratifying to tour the United States, and to share my coming out with so many people. Both from within and outside the GLBT community. Tonight's broadcast celebrates  the remarkable courage in diversity within our ranks. [Jennifer Pizer] The law doesn't tell you what you have to think. It just tells you that you have to treat people equally. [Lupita Benitez] "All I want is to have a baby," I told him. You know, I'm not looking for anything else. [Pedro Ruiz] In dance and in life you need somebody who can really hold you and give you some energy and push you. Everyone thinks this is all about sex  but actually it's about love and about finding a partner in life. I have the strength now to say, "Go ahead, bring it on." [Amaechi] Our first story begins with a couple simple wish, to have a child. And then becomes a groundbreaking legal case that's still winding its way through the California court system. In 2000, Lupita Benitez was denied infertility care when her doctor claimed a religious objection to treating lesbians. Where does religious freedom end  and bigotry begin? Courts across the country are grappling with this compelling issue. What ultimately happens in the Benitez case will have far-reaching implications. Not only for the GLBT community. But for all Americans. [Music] [Narrator] Oceanside, California. [Narrator] A small quiet town near, San Diego. [Narrator] Sixteen years ago, Lupita Benitez and Joanne Clark met at work nearby. [Narrator] They were an unlikely match. [Narrator] Lupita was born in Mexico and immigrated to the United States as a teenager. [Narrator] Joanne grew up in Southern California. [Lupita] I think Joanne was a little bit, you know, hesitant because, "Oh my God, she's nineteen." You know, Joanne is thirteen years older than I am. [Joanne Clark] You're younger than me. You're from a family of ten. You're Mormon. You know, I just don't know how to, I don't know if I can deal with this. I mean, I knew. I was sure about myself. I knew it. I knew right away. You know, that this was for real. [Narrator] Joanne and Lupita soon began living together. [Joanne] We knew from the very beginning that we wanted to have children. We didn't realize it was gonna take so long. We didn't realize the road was gonna be so hard. [Narrator] Eight years ago, Lupita began trying to get pregnant with home inseminations. [Lupita] It was a big surprise for me to learn that, wow, I'm not ovulating. And that's a possibility that I cannot have children. [Narrator] Lupita decided to seek fertility treatment. [Narrator] Her health insurance had an exclusive contract with North Coast Woman's Care. In August 1999, she scheduled her first appointment. [Lupita] We went in. [Lupita] We were greeted by Dr. Christine Brody. She began asking me some medical history and, um, she did mention to me, "Well, how long have you been with your partner?" And I think she assume it was a male partner. And, I said, "Well, this is my partner Joanne, and we've been together for  seven years." So ,when I said that, she went, "Well," she said, um, she right away, mentioned that, if it came to the point where she will need to do some, it will need to be done some artificial insemination she wouldn't be able to do it. And we asked, "Why?" And she said, "Because it's against my religion. "Because it's against my religious believes to create, "a life, "with a couple. "a homosexual couple." I thought I was going to have to hold, Lupita down on the table. I mean, she was furious. She was furious. Dr. Brody noticed that I was very upset and she said to me, but she said , "I can check for you if any of the  other physicians here in the office will be able to do, "these procedures for you." So, at that moment kind of, like, made it okay. You know, so, she went out, came back, and say, you know, "There's good news. The doctors here said that they have no problem, "they have no objections doing this procedure for you." [Narrator] Month after month, Lupita took fertility drugs, [Narrator] and went to North Coast Woman's Care for tests and surgical procedures. [Narrator] After almost a year of failed attempts, she scheduled an in-office insemination with a second doctor at the clinic. [Narrator] But this time, when Lupita called for her prescription she was treated differently. [Lupita] They told me that the doctor on call, Dr. Fenton, could not give me the medication and he wasn't going to be able to do the procedure for me. I remember Lupita sitting on the couch saying, "What do you mean you can't, "prescribe me the medicine. What do you mean you can't do the procedure?" She just say, "No, we're not gonna do it. "We're not gonna perform that on you." And I was just, I was crying at that point. He said we needed to go to another doctor's office that would treat us more as a normal couple. And, I remember thinking. They can't do this. They can't do this. I did not know what to do. I called my insurance, they couldn't, she said, well, we can't help you. My insurance couldn't even help me. Even though I told them you know, that I, you guys are not sending me anywhere else. I can't, you know, I don't know what to do. "All I want is to have a baby," I told him, you know, "I'm not looking for anything else." [Narrator] Lupita and Joanne immediately filed a complaint against the two doctors and the clinic. [Narrator] But mediation attempts were rebuffed by the doctors. [Narrator] So Lupita and Joanne filed a lawsuit that was later thrown out of court. [Narrator] Despite the setbacks, they continued to pursue a legal course. [Joanne] Our goal when we were going to do a lawsuit about this was the people behind us. About other people being treated this way. It wasn't okay. It wasn't okay. It wasn't okay for anyone. It wasn't okay for gay couples. It's not okay for women. It's not okay for anyone to be treated with any kind of discrimination within, it's not okay, period. But within the medical community, especially when you're vulnerable and you're seeking help. And you're looking for these people to help you and they feel they have the right to say no to you. Um, that's not okay for anybody. Anybody. [Narrator] Searching the internet, the couple discovered Lambda Legal. [Narrator] An organization devoted to protecting gay and lesbian civil rights. [Narrator] Lambda Legal saw this as a clear-cut case of discrimination. [Jennifer Pizer] Patients have the right under the civil rights law to be treated the same as other patients. And not to be treated differently based on a personal characteristic like, sexual orientation, race, religion, or national origin. [Pizer] The issue is health care providers making a judgment, [Pizer] based on their religious beliefs. Not based on anything medical. [Pizer] The treatment that Lupita needed, is a treatment that many women need. Polycystic ovarian disease has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It has to do with ovaries. And the treatment that she needed, is a treatment that those doctors do constantly for other women. [James Hirsen] The issue is, whether physicians should be forced, to render services to help, create children among, and whether it's same-sex couples or any couple, but in a situation that violates, their, legitimately held religious beliefs. [Narrator] James Hirsen, an attorney and the President of the Foundation For Free Expression, [Narrator] filed a brief to support the doctors case. [Hirsen] My argument would be that a fertility physician should not be coerced, into rendering services that violate these deeply held beliefs. [Pizer] There's a confusion, um, that has crept into this case, that's important to clarify. That, that this religious objection is not to a procedure. Not to a medical procedure, that the doctors don't want to provide. They voluntarily provide it, routinely to other patients. Ah, and, and they've signed contracts to be the exclusive provider of those services to the health plan. So they're happy to provide the services. They were not objecting to the procedure. They were objecting to the patient. And that's what California law says they cannot do. The civil rights law says that. The licensing law says that. The ethical rules of the American Medical Association say that. And the contracts that these doctors sought out and signed also say that. [Hinsen] Discrimination, in and of itself, is not necessarily illegal. The question is whether it's illegal discrimination. [Pizer] The doctors seemed to sincerely believe, [Pizer] that if they were motivated by religion, that it's not discrimination. People seem to think it's only discrimination if you have bad thoughts about the person, that you're refusing service to. It's not about bad thoughts. It's about the fact that you ref, you refuse the service. The law doesn't tell you what you have to think. It just tells you that you have to treat people equally. [Equipment pings] [Narrator] This case is unusually complex, [Narrator] because doctors in America have traditionally had autonomy, [Narrator] when it comes to matters of conscience or religion. [Narrator] In the Benitez case, the issues of discrimination and religious belief dramatically collide. [Hirsen] The doctors were troubled by discovering that the patient, [Hirsen] was having a long-term same-sex relationship which violated their, [Hirsen] moral and religious views, [Hirsen] of the way a child should come into the world. [Hirsen] For a physician, who had such a belief, to be this, such a significant player. Almost like a third parent. You know, that their, actually their services, but for their services, this child would not come in the world. Um, that's a profound thing for someone to live with. [Dr. Mark Sauer] I never feel that way. I mean, I'm a physician, you know. I don't try to make it into something more than, than that. [Sauer] What we do in our field of medicine is help women have children. [Sauer] And we're just a part of it. [Narrator] Dr. Mark Sauer is the Director of the Infertility Center at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City. [Sauer] This clinic here at Columbia University is, is pretty open clinic. Um, I can honestly tell you there's, there really is no sub group of patients, that we don't offer complete access of care to. In many cases, patients who don't necessarily have free access to care in other institutions or other private offices. This would be, single women, who may, or may not be, homosexual, lesbian couples. [Narrator] Even sympathetic fertility specialists like Dr. Sauer, support the right of doctors to follow their conscience. [Sauer] I don't have a problem with the idea that even though you may not agree with it, the doctors may at times, assume a conscience, conscientious objector status. But I think they then have an obligation, to have that well defined. And they have to be able then, if it's not a life and death situation, because if it is life and death, regardless they should be acting upon it. But if it's not life and death, they should feel very comfortable referring that patient, to someone who they trust would give them the same quality of care. [Sauer] I would take exception if I present myself as a caring accepting physician, who's going to be your doctor, is going to get you to where you need to go. But halfway there says, "Oh, by the way, "I've never been on board with this. Ah, you need to see my partner. Or I need to send you somewhere else." If a doctor has a religious objection to doing insemination generally. Then they should pick a field of medicine that does not require insemination. And they avoid the conflict between their religious views and, and the standard of care for medical practice. If their religious view is to discriminate between patients, that's not a religious view that they can act on. They can hold the view. But they can't act on it. [Narrator] While Lupita and Joanne continued to fight for their rights in court. [Narrator] They also continued their quest to have a baby. [Narrator] Although it cost them thousands of dollars out of pocket. [Narrator] They eventually found a doctor who helped them. [Joanne] She brought the pregnancy test home and she did the test. [Joanne] And it turned positive right away. [Joanne] And of course I started bawling, you know. I started crying. I, I still have the pregnancy test that shows, it's positive, you know, what I mean, because it was that, it was that big of a day. Hi, baby. Well, we found out that you are a boy for sure. I can't wait to see you. So, stay in there a little bit longer 'cause you're not cooked yet. [Chuckles] And we can't wait for when you come out. And, oh by the way, your name is going to be Gabriel Elijah. So you're [?]. Well, you can probably already hear us talking to you, a lot. [Narrator] On January 31st, 2002, Gabriel Clark Benitez was born. [Narrator] He surprised his mothers by arriving six weeks early. [Music, greetings in Spanish] [Hirsen] You know, this whole case revolves around Guadalupe, ah, Benitez. Ah, who, um, who essentially is the plaintiff in the original suit. Um, Ms. Benitez, was able to find a physician, with no problem. Was able to get the fertility services and the insemination and, had a son. She's a, an example, of why, in a way, this case is moot. [Pizer] Lupita knows that nothing can undo what she went through. [Pizer] But she was shocked at the treatment she received. [Pizer] She's made a decision that was not easy to make. And I think has been hard to stick with sometimes. That she wants to try to make a difference, so that, other women in the future will have better protection. [Narrator] Where does religious freedom end, and bigotry begin? [Narrator] Several of the legal briefs filed in support of the doctors, [Narrator] use derogatory language about homosexuals. [Joanne] I read every single one, of the amicus briefs. [Joanne] I read them all. Some of them are just ghastly. Um, and some of them were downright scary. [Pizer] On page five, there's also the phrase, [Pizer] "Homosexual activists are like the suicide bombers who destroy themselves." [Pizer] Sounds a little inflammatory, doesn't it? [Hirsen] Yeah, I, I, well, that one is a bit inflammatory um, and I have to say, ah, my, ah, former student, ah, wrote that, who drafted it, um, but the idea is to convey the fact that, that there are lots of people, um, who view, the behavior, not the status, but the behavior, as something that is aberrant. And is, morally unsound. It gets tough sometimes, you know, like, reading some things that they get, out in the media or you know from the doctors, lawyers saying, things about me and stuff. It's like, oh my God. I just shake my head and I go, why are they saying that? They don't even know me. Here you go! You're a pirate. Argh! [Chuckles] When Gabriel was three years old, we decided to try again. To see if we will get lucky again with another child. We got pregnant with twins. Which was a big surprise for us. Two beautiful girls. [Laughs] [Narrator] In June, 2006, a year after the twins were born. [Narrator] The Benitez case was accepted by the California Supreme Court. Oral arguments will be heard sometime in the next year. [Pizer] It should have been an open-and-shut case. [Pizer] But here we are in front of the California Supreme Court. And I think that's because there's still confusion about whether the rules should apply to gay people, the same way that they apply to other people. Whether equal means equal for gay people too. [Cheering for Gabrielle] Go, go, go, go! [Pizer over game noise] We face a big hurdle to have society  as a whole really see us. [Pizer] And to see that we create families. [Pizer] That our love is just as sincere and deep and wonderful. [Pizer] We make wonderful parents. [Pizer] Our kids come out great. And that our families, um, not just need, but deserve, the full measure of respect that other families receive. [Cheering for Gabrielle] Come on! Keep running, baby! Come on! Go, go, go! Whooo! That's it. Yay! [Lupita] One positive thing that came out of this lawsuit was that I was able to, come out to my co-workers. I was able to come out to everybody. Which, it lifted a big heavy thing off my shoulders. I'm so much free. I have, I'm just so open. I'm an open book. [Joanne] We're initially very thin-skinned, [Joanne] and now the skin has gotten thicker and it's just, you know what? Too bad. We're here. And, take it or leave it. You know, um, I have the strength now to say,  "Go ahead. "Bring it on." Because I'm not going away. [Cheering for Gabrielle] [Lupita] Keep running! There's Gabrielle! [Lupita] This is who I am. This is my family. This is, this is my life. [Lupita] It's great with my children and my partner. [Lupita] We're a happy family. I can tell you that, we're a happy family. [Music] [Amaechi] You're about to meet Pedro Ruiz, whose passion for dance has led him on a dramatic journey. From childhood in rural Cuba, where machismo was everything. To his career as a choreographer in New York City, where freedom of expression is all that matters. As a principal dancer in the New York-based company, Ballet Hispanico, for twenty one years, Pedro toured the world and began creating ballets. His work often celebrates the rich culture of his native country. And always exudes the sheer joy of movement that he first experienced as a young boy. [Ballet music] [Pedro Ruiz, over music] One of my grandfathers used to have a farm. [Ruiz] I used to love to go with him to the countryside. Around five in the morning, when the beginning of life was waking up. And you arrive everything is still wet. [Ruiz] And the fresh smells. And the food. [Ruiz] My big fantasy is being a place that was very big. You know in a farmland. And no one can see me. And I had the freedom to dance. To jump around and, kick my leg. I don't even know what I'm doing. But I, I remember, that feeling of, that freedom of expression. [Music, over instructions] Up, down. Up! [Ruiz] You see the music and other instruments go, [All join in] Wow! [Ruiz] Wow. And you are going, wow. I need to see that. Another thing. [Ruiz] It's, I need to see this. Up. [Ruiz] Up. [Ruiz] Back. Look. And from here, it's like, [Ruiz] push and take it with you. [Music] [Ruiz] Dance. Is a special of emotion. [Ruiz] Dance is a way of communicate. [Ruiz] Dance for me, it's life. [Music] [Ruiz] As a child, I used to play with my imagination. [Ruiz] My family used to buy me soldiers. Well, guess what? [Ruiz] For me, the soldiers became the kingdom. I have a kingdom. We have a queen. We have a, a, I created, it's like creating a story there. [Narrator] Pedro spent hours choreographing elaborate ballets. [Narrator] He would pick flowers from the garden. [Narrator] And turn them upside down. [Narrator] Creating prima ballerinas to partner with his toy soldiers. I used to cut the flower. Turn it opposite. So it's very thin, just like a torso. And then they have little colorful tutus. You know. And they go like  this and they move, you know, they move. So they will be their companions. And have all the females and have all the males. There's a great imagination, huh. So, I put in dance and, and they do all the turn around and mess around like that. [Ruiz] And I was in completely different world. Then I remembered my father come and say, "Why are you doing that with those soldiers?" You know, [laughs] "They look princess with all this, you know, what you're doing there?" [Ruiz] My father was getting really upset. [Ruiz] Because I was a very shy, [Ruiz] boy. And very sensitive. [Ruiz] You know, martial culture, [Ruiz] of Cuba became like, this is girl stuff. And that we became too sensitive. So they put me in a therapy. Boys therapy. They tell me to take judo class. [laughs] And I hate. [Ruiz] Ah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. [Ruiz voiceover] Dance is something that's born, [Ruiz] with me. I believe in that. That's what I really, ah, born to do. What I really love. [Ruiz] three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Ah, one, two, three, four, stop, stop. The face, ladies when you wanna go over here.  Boom. [Ruiz] Your head in there. [Ruiz] Yes, we're having this, [Ruiz] I would like to see your face a  little more. So, jumping here now. [Ruiz] And then facing here, so I can see your face. [Male dancer] He is really passionate about, [Male dancer] how much he loves, [Male dancer] choreographing and dancing and movement. [Ruiz] Use the whole spine, to go up, [Ruiz] and up, up into the embrace of when you go to the embrace. That was, [Ruiz] [?] is not like, boom. It's more like. [Ruiz] It's more like that. [Ruiz] Yeah. We'll try. [Female dancer] He really teaches you about being an artist.  He expresses how you have to have a story behind what you do. You can't just, [Female] dance. [Male] Mm, hmm. [Female] You really have to feel with what you're doing and with who you're working with. [Ruiz] Eyes, please ladies. I need to see your eyes. You know, please look at me. Eyes! [Music] [Narrator] At the age of eight, Pedro danced in a school production of, "Peter and the Wolf." [Narrator] He was spotted by a scout from the National Ballet, [Narrator] and encouraged to enroll in a local ballet school. [Narrator] With his parents support, Pedro began formal dance training. [Music] [Narrator] Pedro continued to study ballet throughout his teenage years. [Narrator] In communist Cuba, at this time, in the 1970's, homosexuality was illegal. [Narrator] Even in the ballet world, a rumor of being gay could result in being expelled from a dance school. [Narrator] And at times, lead to arrest. You had to be a dancer and you had to be a macho man. And you have to, to have a, have a girlfriend. And, um, and, you had to close yourself. So, [drawn out] was hard. Um, it's like you're wearing a mask. [Music] [Narrator] Pedro was very cautious in exploring his sexual identity as a teenager. [Narrator] Within his own family, [Narrator] the subject of his sexuality was never discussed. [Narrator] His secret remained carefully guarded. [Narrator] But when his family decided to permanently leave Cuba, there  was a hitch. [Narrator] Pedro would not be able to go with them, [Narrator] unless he was excused from military service. [Narrator] So his parents asked him to do the unthinkable. [Narrator] To go before the military board, [Narrator] and publicly announce that he was gay. [Ruiz] Ah, it was very difficult. Embarrassing. Hey, I'm sixteen years old. I go to this general. [Ruiz] And I say I want to see a psychiatrist. [Ruiz] And then he says, "Why do you want to see a psychiatrist?" I said, "Well, because, um, "I am, I am homosexual." And, um, he, um, in big loud voice, he says, "So, "so you are," in Spanish we say "maricon." Is a very bad word. Is that we say, in matching English, we say, we say, "faggot." "So you are a big faggot." So, what, you know. And you imagine behind me, [laughing] all these young, boys laughing and, ah, I keep my center. [Jazz Music] [Narrator] Pedro and his family left Cuba.  And in 1984 they arrived in New York City. [Narrator] A place that energized his passion as a dancer and choreographer. [Jazz Music] [Music, "Gozando."] [Female dancer] That piece is called, [Both] "Gozando." [Music, "Gozando." [Male dancer] I love it. It means having fun. [Music] [Ruiz] "Gozando," is inspired by the music of Wynton Marsalis. [Ruiz] And that wonderful energy of New York. [Ruiz] The mix of races. And the mix, and, of rhythms. [Ruiz] I love. [Ruiz] two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One. [Ruiz] Dancers. The key in this piece, is that you have to relate to each other. [Ruiz] Yeah, you need to dance with your partner. [Ruiz] Okay, because in other way I see two solos dancing, [Ruiz] together beautifully. [Ruiz] But it's not a relation between each other. [Ruiz] So, the audience is not going to connect with you. [Ruiz] You know, I need to feel that you are having fun. [Ruiz] He go and, [Ruiz] He push. [Ruiz] And he up. [Ruiz] He up, he, ah, up. He, [Ruiz] stop. [Ruiz] And, [Ruiz] up. [Ruiz] Now, stop it. [Ruiz] Um, when we want to continue into the conductor mixed with one, [Ruiz] two, three, four. Yeah. Think about more, [Ruiz] Embrace. Here. [Ruiz] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's the instead of it. Yeah. [Ruiz] Put it down, okay. We lived on one. Yep, that is about it. [Ruiz] One, two, and three, four, down. Yeah. [Ruiz] It's very important when you do the patterning that you get to know the person, that you're dancing with. I say, the two of you have to breathe together. You know, have to have that breathing. You know, if you have that kind of fluidity, [Ruiz] in the movement, and timing, and connection. [Ruiz] It's very personal when you dance with the person. You get to know that smell of that person. To hear, the smell, the perfume. [Ruiz] You have to be open to discovering each other. [Scream, static noise, laughter, off camera] [Female dancer] You're so vulnerable, [Male dancer] Mm, hmm. [Female] when you first partner with someone 'cause, I mean, it's your body.  [Male] Mm, hmm. [Female] You have to share it, you know, and it's, [Female] very different than just working in a solo. [Music] [Ruiz] It's so important to have, [Ruiz] another body by you. [Ruiz] I enjoy more dancing, with a partner, than just dancing by myself alone. I think, in my real life also. You know, I'm very lucky to have a wonderful partner too, in, in my real life. [Partner] Pepsi, Ginger Ale. [Ruiz] In there. [Dishes clatter] [Partner] Wine, I don't think you, [Ruiz] No. [Partner] drink it. [Ruiz] No. What you like now? [Partner] Diet Pepsi. [Ruiz] Yeah. [Partner] I was at La Guardia Airport and I was on the ah, line, and I heard all this Spanish spoken around me. And I looked at the luggage tags and it said Ballet Hispanico of New York. So we were like, you know,  like, diggity, diggity, diggity, diggity. There was this very handsome man. And, you know, we look and we smile. When he actually got up to the ticket counter, he looked back and smiled and I thought well, it's not my imagination. Well, if it was, let me go to the cafe. Is a cafe right there. And go in line and and see maybe he pass by. But at the time I considered myself a professional single person. Nothing. He ignore me. [Laughs] Disappear. And then five weeks later on a Saturday night. I don't think I've ever been late for anything in my life. But I was trying to go to the movies here, and see, "Tea with Mussolini." [Ruiz] I was, trying to go to, to see, "Tea with Mussolini." And I was late. And when I arrived, it was sold out. And then I said, well, it's a good time for me to go to Tower Records. And I said, well, what am I going to do now. And I decide I'll go into Tower Records. And when I was turning the corner of the international section, I noticed this man. He looked very familiar. And then I thought, wait a second, I remember him. I saw him at the airport. And I said, should I say hello, and oh, I thought, what's the point. I was thinking maybe do something with, Caetano Veloso, or something, you know, Brazillian accents, something I'm feeling that day. [Laughs] And as I was looking, when I see somebody pass behind me. And, I said, "Excuse me. "But, didn't we see each other at the airport?" And I say, "Yes, I remember you." [Laughs] So he say, what, you know, we start talking, he say, "How about having a coffee?" and that's that. That's that. It's gonna be eight years. [Music] [Female dancer] Pedro really, he didn't know us before we were in his piece but I think he paired everyone really, [Female] really well. [Music] [Male dancer] In the beginning, [Female] we weren't really friends. [Male] Yeah, no. [Together] But, now we are. [Music] [Female dancer] And we're like best friends, now, [Male dancer] Yeah, so, we've got a pretty good connection. [Female] We're friends. [Music] [Partner] Ha, ha. [Ruiz] Come on, let's go. [Partner] I'm not gonna tell you how much older I am, but I am older than Pedro. [Partner] It was a little intimidating. [Partner] Let's face it. [Partner] You go to a performance and, after the performance people are coming up to Pedro, and, um, he gets a lot of attention. And he gets a lot of attention, not only from people who admire his work. He also gets a lot of attention. [Partner] When I first met him, we went to a Broadway show. [Partner] And a very famous dancer, [Partner] had actually, one of his minions pass a note, [Partner] for Pedro to come during intermission and meet with him. And, I, I was new to the relationship. [Partner] And he handled that particular situation with such grace and skill. [Partner] And I think that's the reason that I, [Partner] feel so comfortable and trusting. [Partner] You know, I may be older than he is, but, emotional intelligence. Oh, he has it over on me. [Music] [Ruiz] Relationship, between the partner, in the dance, or even, in the life, for me is a completely, absolutely [?]. [Music] Yeah, ha, ha, ah, [Partner] well, let me ask you this. They're gonna, I don't know exactly how long they're going to be filming. They're doing a piece on Pedro. [Partner] Would it be all right if the car hangs out there, and if it becomes a problem and ring up. [Ruiz] He be a big supporter, always. [Partner] Okay. [Laughs] [Ruiz] He's really been there, pushing and bringing all this beautiful energy, [Ruiz] that you need so much, when you are in this profession. [Music] [Applause] [Ruiz] Respond to me, that's better. [Ruiz] To me, here. [Female dancer] Wait. Up here. [Ruiz] Yeah. [Female] And then from here. [Ruiz] Yes, okay. You have to, [Ruiz] contraction, contraction and bring in so I can go here. [Ruiz] In dance and in life you need somebody who, whose arms that can really hold you. And give you some energy and push you. [Ruiz] To say, you're doing well. Keep going. [Music] [Chatting under music] [Partner] It was our fifth anniversary. Pedro had been on tour. And we got up early the next morning. [Partner] We went to church. [Partner] Both our two favorite pastors, Byron Schaefer and Laura Gervais were there. [Ruiz] And I, ask if they can bless us. Our relationship. [Ruiz] And it happen. It happen just like that. [Partner] It was just this wonderful spontaneous, [Partner] moment. And I remember we were walking home, and you said, [Partner] "You couldn't have planned something like this." [Music, slowly fades out] [Amaechi] In 1996, playwright Eve Ensler began captivating audiences with her groundbreaking production, "The Vagina Monologues." Two years ago she collaborated with a group of transgendered women, to create a new version from  their own unique perspective. Tonight, we feature excerpts from the extraordinary documentary, "Beautiful Daughters," that follows this artistic endeavor, and highlights the lives of these remarkable women. [Music] "Beautiful Daughters," evolved. [Josh Aronson] The original intention that my partner Ariel Jordan and I had, was to do a film specifically about the violence perpetrated against transsexual women. And we were going to make a very, what we thought would be a very, very powerful film, about that, using the first all transgendered production of, "The Vagina Monologues," as the spine. [Aronson] And as we began researching it, [Aronson] the film evolved into something else. [Aronson] We focus on three of the characters who perform it. [Aronson] And we get to know them. We learn about their past. We learn about  their joys, about their sorrows. [Aronson] And we see how they're surviving. In several of the cases, they're  surviving very, very well. And, in fact, they're very happy. So they're role models. And they're, they're heroes. [Aronson] We wanted to have women who were, [Aronson] willing to be our, [Aronson] colleagues, in making this film. Because we wanted people who would tell the truth. Who were willing to really come out and tell us their story and tell the truth. [Aronson] As a straight filmmaker, and when you're hanging out with transsexual women. Some of them, quite beautiful. [Aronson] It's a little distracting. [Aronson] So we joked. And we played. And we flirted, you know. And it was fun. Internally you have your own little motor going, going. This is a transsexual. What does that mean about me ? And it's interesting. It's a very interesting reaction. Because, that, is, the cause of the violence. Because, when men find that they've been attracted to a transsexual women. Even slept with transsexual woman. And then find that they're transsexual. What goes off in them is a fear of the feminine. Is a fear of their own, homosexual tendencies. Is a fear of so many complicated things, that in many men, unfortunately, it triggers something. And it triggers violence. [Amaechi] June Pride inspires comedian and political activist, Kate Clinton. Tonight she calls all of us to step forward and to take action. [Kate Clinton] Do me a favor. Join a national LGBT organization. It's only forty bucks. Get connected. Then join a statewide or a local organization. Volunteer at your local LGBT Center. They are the chlorophyll of the grassroots. Read a book about gay history. Start a book club. Discuss. Ride a gay pride float. Make one. Hitch a ride with the dykes on bikes. Come out to somebody, every day. Get a couple of gay friends. Go to an anti-gay group. Start asking questions. Come out to your family again. Call them. Tell them about the Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment to the Constitution. Do something visibly gay, every day. Start small. Do it. [Amaechi] Thank you for watching, "In the Life." To sign up for monthly air date alerts or to download, "In the Life," episodes visit our website at, In the Life TV dot org. Or call one eight hundred, six, two, seven, on TV. I'm John Amaechi and from all of us at "In the Life,"  thanks for tuning in. And we'll see you next month. [Music over end credits, "I'm Ready for the Good Times" by Shakira] I'm ready for the good times, I'm ready for the good times. [Shakira] Ready to get it on. Uh, huh. [Shakira] I'm ready for the good times. I'm ready for the good times. [Shakira] Now that I'm not alone. [Shakira] Oh, oh. Oh, uh, uh, uh. [Shakira] Oh, uh, uh, uh. [Shakira] Oh, uh, uh, uh. [Shakira] Oh, no. [Shakira] Oh, uh, uh, uh. [Shakira] Oh, uh, uh, uh. [Shakira] You better not ignore it. [Music] [Shakira] I don't wanna look at fashion magazines. [Shakira] While someone does my nails. [Shakira] Sitting here, watching other people live, [Shakira] frozen by the fear to fail. Whoo, ooh. [Shakira] 'Cause everyday, there's a war to fight. [Shakira] And nevermind if I win or lose, [Shakira] as long as your my shelter every night [Shakira] I used to cry against a wall [Shakira] but now I've got a shoulder I can lean on, [Shakira] swear to me you won't be gone. [Shakira] I'm ready for the good times. I'm ready for the good times. Ready to get it on. [Announcer, over music] "In The Life," is funded in part, [Announcer] by the H. van Ameringen Foundation. [Announcer] And by Arcus Foundation. [Announcer] And by the annual support of, "In The Life," members like you. [Theme music] [Theme music]