In the Life: Ep. 1305, "The Homosexual Lifestyle"

this month in the Life presents the homosexual lifestyle here's a lecture from being useful in this world 101 dancing with the big boys and there was this Dynamic of music of light of of people of sweat the women behind the screen you have to keep such a significant part of your own Humanity uh silenced or absent and queer youth take to the streets my mom had kicked me out so I basically just lived in my car all this and more on America's Gay and Lesbian News Magazine in the life in the life is funded in part by the H van amaran Foundation additional support provided by the Ford Foundation The Pride Foundation the Gil [Music] Foundation the Overbrook Foundation the rainbow endowment the Ted Snowden Foundation the Arcus Foundation Adam a funding collaborative empowering queer youth Mel hitz Jim step and Peter Zimmer Wexler Zimmerman charitable trust and the annual support of in the Life members like you [Music] welcome to in the life I'm Stacy Anin for 12 years America's Gay and Lesbian News Magazine has shown the faces aired the voices and charted the progress of the many communities that make up our populace and the more we see the less uniformity we find in the wide variety of LGBT lives so tonight in the life goes in search of the homosexual lifestyle and finds a positive Community unexpectedly aging we really didn't think that there was going to be an old age campaign 2004 I think people have a right to say who they are and not have to apologize for it a developing queer World talking about homosexual right is a western idea but homosexuality is not a rest in idea and one very proud Mary if you sit at home and let the rest of us do your work you're not really part of the community but first the commonly touted version of the homosexual lifestyle paints a picture of pretty party boys living a life of sex drugs and donos in short a circuit party but the party circuit represents only a tiny fraction of the LGBT population and even there the truth is much more complicated today a decade after it first rose out of the AIDS crisis the circuit is dogged by accusations that it has corrupted the activism that gave it life C parties are kind of like Rave parties but for grown-ups who are gay the dancing really grew out of the political climate at the time our new found Freedom that came with the birth of the Gay Liberation movement the 1969 storm wall riots opened up a newly visible gay nightlife in New York one that reached a Zenith when the saint opened in 1980 I remember the very first time I walked into the saint this was the most spectacular environment I had ever seen and it was for us it was for the gay community nobody else the saint was probably one of the most mystical mythical temples of dance ever to come up around it came out of a dream Bruce Melman the owner of the saint had a dream about dancing under a dome of a planetarium and made it a reality and there was this Dynamic of music of light of of people of sweat you can see the sea of manhood just undulating like one body and when that happened it was like a nuclear power plant reaching critical [Music] mass [Applause] [Music] hallu and then all of a sudden you start going to more funerals then you go to dance parties I believe that aids killed the saint more than anything because these were the high-risk people and these were all Al people on on The Cutting Edge of a disease emotionally Bruce Maan got tired of every year when he had sent out the renewal because the membership was several thousand men and he would get back things saying deceased in 1988 due to the toll of the crisis the saint held its closing party you could see people afterwards in groups holding on to each other and sobbing because of the people that we had already lost the people that we were going to lose and there were people who were negative and wonder why not them you know everyone that they knew everyone that they danced with or did drugs with or had sex with was dead except them and there was a quandry of of how do I deal with this people dealt with it by transforming other pre-existing parties into a response to the crisis these different communities created these AIDS fundraisers as a way to finance their service organizations in their own Community a circuit party is a big gay event that usually has thousands of men they Journey from all over the world or the United States that's how the term circuit arose and it's a celebration it can be like a loving environment can feel like really a sense of connectedness uh in the gay community it's a lonely world out there and any situation that you can place yourself in where you feel like you're part of a group whatever that might be it gives you a sense of comfort Mark Nelson is a circuit party promoter and consultant circuit is a almost a religious following for some people and by the early '90s circuit men would congregate in New York Palm Springs Montreal Miami and on Fire Island for the morning party the morning party is uh a fundraising event uh that benefits the Gay Men's Health crisis it's a way to affirm that we are still in this we are alive and we're going to do everything possible to end this epidemic but in the mid90s circuit parties were caught up in a heat public debate set off by reports of prevalent drug use a debate which eventually focused on ghc's role in the morning party I just wrote these pieces saying gmhc what are you doing like this is a this is a big deal someone died at your party Jonathan capart is a pit surprise winning journalist an occasional in the Life correspondent and one of several gay critics who took gmhc to task for the party here you are um an AIDS Services organization but you are the host of a party um that is now on the circuit and where you know the reputation is and everybody knows that the reputation of circuit party is lots of sex lots of drugs someone could come along and say it's as if you are um making your own clients there's nothing stopping someone on Capitol Hill from making that connection although the current administration of gmhc the inclined to be interviewed Ronald Johnson ghc's former executive director spoke to in the Life in 1998 much of the the press's reaction is a perpetuation of the negative stereotypes of gay men as promiscuous drug taking party goers but when I was writing and saying to the morning party can't you do something else anything else that would get you out from under This Cloud we are dealing with adults and adults have a sense of responsibility when I con contracted HIV I was an adult I made a mistake and it was no one else's fault eventually gmhc gave up the party and I think gmhc is a better organization because of it since the Fallout over the circuit in general and the morning party in particular a number of circuit parties have increased Outreach for safe partying I don't want drugs in my parties I know they're there most events will have um emergency medical staff there in case somebody has done something that is not healthy for them little research has been done on cirket parties but in 2001 the CDC published a study that included findings on drug use today the major drug of concern is crystal meth people get that Invincible feeling that nothing can hurt them I've seen a lot of people that say that when they let down their guard and had unprotected sex that Crystal was involved if uh you're under the influence of a drug that is impairing your better judgment then it's fueling the AIDS epidemic it's just easy to point the finger at a circuit event but that's not the primary purpose of a circuit event for people to do drugs it's it's for them to gather and meet new friends the CDC stud found that as the number of drugs used increased the likelihood of unprotected sex increased as well I know that the the circuit party gets accused of a lot of unsafe sex in that environment at most events that I'm involved with um their safe sex has pushed extremely hard um to the point where at the end of a a black party I'll just load up with condoms and walk around and hand them to people but between the fundraisers and the for-profit parties on the circuit there are other concerns about about how the highly visible circuit scene looks most of the people are white beefy guys who usually look alike well I would certainly love to see us be more integrated the circuit men tend not only to be white 70% by the cdc's estimates but also hyperbuilt yeah I think we're terrified of not being beautiful God forbid you walk down that street and someone thinks he looks sick I was at dancing one night and this was a circuit party and someone in the middle of the body beautiful took off his shirt and he had kosi saroma so he had lesions all over him and I thought way to go and I heard other people talking about I don't know why he has to do that why do we have to be reminded of AIDS we can't lose sight of the fact that you know there's still gay people s converting and that there still is an emergency I think there's a huge percentage of people that are not having unprotected sex at circuit Pary it can be a really wonderful experience there is a potential as the saint was for creating a community within a community I don't know what the answer is to turn our community from the path that is on right now to to want to stay healthy and alive and and continue our community you have the saint you have circuit parties there needs to be a new creation coming up what that is and who's going to do it I don't know you know it can't be centered around death it's got to be centered around life life though they make compelling copy the circuit boys comprise only a tiny fraction of an estimated 28 million LGBT Americans for whom being in the life means something very different there are for instance roughly twice as many Jewish lesbians as circuit boys and they contend with their own distinct set of issues I had my bot mitzo in a conservative Jewish synagogue at a time then girls didn't have B Mitzvah in synagogues like boys had Bar Mitzvah of course women have always played significant roles in Judaism but not as official spiritual leaders with the title of Rabbi Rabbi Sharon Klein bom is the senior Rabbi at Congregation Beth simcat Torah or cbsd founded 30 years ago cbsd is the world's largest LGBT synagogue with over 800 members I was just looking for a place to belong as a Jew I was near Beth hun Street and I decided to go in and dig up the rabbi I didn't have to dig her up she was sitting there working I never met a female Rabbi before uh Jerry fair is a member of our congregation and we think she is the oldest living Jewish lesbian it's a you are a prophet she first called cbst several years ago because she was planning her funeral and thinking about making arrangements many years ago a lesbian woman in the group that I was traveling around with died of cancer and at her funeral the women formed a circle and each one threw on a handful of dirt that was religion to me then I said you're at lesbian Cherry what do you want and she very much wanted to be buried by a lesbian Rabbi but until very recently that would not have been an option when I entered rabinal School in 1985 uh there was only one out lesbian Rabbi that existed anywhere in the Jewish World there were other LGBT Jews of course but for the rabinal students the climate of the 80s forced them to keep their gay and Jewish identities separate my second year in rabinal school a secret meeting was called we were told the name of the city to fly to we were given a phone number to call from the airport when we arrived at in that City and then we were told where to find the conference this was the first conference for for Gay and Lesbian Jewish professionals people came from all over to be in an environment where it was possible to be both gay and Jewish and it was an outrage here were people who were spiritual leaders helping people live whole and complete lives and yet they themselves had to absolutely deny a significant part of their souls Rabbi Dawn Rose who faced expulsion from school shares a similar experience I initially went to the Jewish Theological Seminary which is conservative my first day of school I looked across the class and saw a young woman with with spiky white hair and I went oh my I'm in love and oh my God I'm in the wrong school I was called to the Dean's office and asked if I was in violation of the rules against being a homosexual he told me that if I kept my head down and my mouth shut that's a direct quote maybe I would get through but I would never know until I was actually ordained it's very difficult to be able to be a full religious leader when you have to keep such a significant part of your own Humanity uh silenced or absent much of the textual debate over homosexuality focuses on two controversial verses in Leviticus those two verses condemn men uh a man who sleeps with a man uh like he would with a woman it's considered an Abomination and that person should be put to death these two verses have become used uh by religious Traditions as the source of anti-gay bigotry and discrimination Melanie Henderson former board member of Beth harim Or BCC points out the necessity of interpretation all of the stuff that's written in the Torah all of the stuff that's written in the ancient writings all the stuff that's in the talmud it's in Aramaic it's in Hebrew and it is required that it be interpreted we study the talmud which there's all these rabbis they take on a a topic from the Torah and they argue about it and nothing is set in stone it's meant to be interpreted every generation so we are we're the new generation this text right here that I have on my desk right now which is the uh this itself is the Bible with the with all of the interpretations surrounding it the biblical texts or two four you know five or six lines on this page every other word on this page is an interpretation queer people did not invent reinterpreting the Torah this is an ancient and deep part of our tradition I find otherwise reasonable people in understanding the Bible as a living breathing document to become Bible thumping fundamentalists when it comes to those two sentences in Leviticus only a few verses later it says rebellious children children should be stoned to death I don't know so many people who are advocating that as a response to teenage rebellion um there's a there's a little teeny phrase in Leviticus that is uhem and it means live by them meaning live by the laws and so you're not supposed to die by them you're not supposed to have a uh suffer a little death every day because you have to separate yourself from the person you love if it's the same sex sex uality is a deep part of our souls and we can't simply say okay just stop being gay and you'll still be a whole person theoretically the reform movement presents an inclusive attitude towards LGBT congregants and ordained LGBT rabbis however the reality in predominantly straight congregations is far more complicated I now am assistant Rabbi at a big reform temple in New Jersey I absolutely love the job and love the people and they're struggling with the issue of my lesbianism I have to have my Judaism be largely separate from my family because they're not fully accepted there the spouse of the rabbi or any other clergy is recognized during High holidays and I asked for that for uh my lover and um and it was denied the impact of rabbi like Sharon andon reaches far beyond the LGBT community I'm not just trying to get a little piece of the pie I'm not just trying to open up Judaism to make room for me as a lesbian I'm trying to change Judaism itself I'm trying to change the nature of religion in America I'm trying to change the way we talk about God and think about Theology and a part of that is absolutely because I'm a lesbian I found in Judaism this a religion that spoke to me as an all already marginalized person that spoke to me about um being able to turn my marginality and what was hard about my life into something that was positive and a celebration I think the queer sensibility is what is going to help save Contemporary American religion in particular Judaism that people who are so-called The Outsiders are really full of the deepest truths that Society is desperately in need of and and um I think this is a great gift that we have to offer perhaps the most overlooked of our community's lifestyles and certainly the most disconcerting is that of an invisible population of teens many people run away from their homes and then run to Metro areas and they end up homeless my mom had kicked me out so I basically just lived in my car I was in a studio with about four other people sleeping on the floor anywhere would be better than what was living in Wisconsin it was just [Music] horrible gbt youth are kicked out drop out of school end up in foster care all those things 10 times more often than any other youth so there's a higher rate of gbt Youth that are on the streets we started conversations about why are queer youth over represented in the homeless youth population what can the community do about it there's so many of us in the community who have extra bedrooms and would probably be willing to have somebody move in let's ask the community if they're willing to do that the result was host homes a Grassroots program that links homeless LGBT youth with welcoming LGBT homes when I came out at 16 I got that it was a it's a phase grow out of it and my mother realized it wasn't a faith she told me that I needed to make up my mind what I wanted to do because I couldn't live in Fargo that would be too much of an embarrassment for my parents I mean I could have very easily ended up being one of those kids on the street so that's why I love getting I wanted to get involved say something about the that the mission is to provide safe spaces for homeless youth a lot of homeless youth were queer and they were out on the streets and they weren't using the shelters um because they weren't safe places to be the shelters that are out there are tend to be very uh scary in a sense that they're not safe I had to leave because some of the staff seemed shady towards me you know there's a lot of things going on that I knew about that I couldn't prove so I had to get out of there the staff sometimes have run-ins you know with the youth and well you know sleep with youth or whatever you know it's just it's it's not a good atmosphere to be in so it sort of perpetuates you being on the street because you don't want to be in a shelter you know and you figure oh I'm better off of my own I think that a lot of Youth are aging out of the system and with how the foster care system is set up when you turn 18 you're pretty much sometimes turned out on your own I started coming to the realization that I'm trans I started telling people and I got a lot of like negative reactions and I didn't have any support whatsoever in Wisconsin so I moved and um it was just horrible like I felt so alone my mom had kicked me out she was sort of embarrassed of me cuz I had shaved my head and she was was having issues with me being a gay teenager I basically just lived in my car a lot of learning happens if you think back to when you were 18 19 20 and 21 you know that huge differences happen in your life and without having a support system set up there's no way that you're going to succeed information there so I was creating this program that would mostly serve this population that had come out out of the foster care system I wanted to make sure that it wasn't the same thing hosts don't get any financial compensation like like foster homes do the youth are there because the hosts really genuinely wanted to open up their home and provide a safe space for them to live yeah in foster care they just yeah they place you or they send you you're going to be with this family until you can settle things or until you're 18 then you're on your own they actually get to read through the entire the host entire applications they get to inter you the host his first question was is there a curfew big question for a 18-year-old Andy and Kims I absolutely love going to because they always feed me oh yeah of course we talk about how things are going if we need to nag Steven on something sometimes we do it then here's another one when I first met them we had a dinner and I felt safe enough you know cuz at the time I had just mov moved from Wisconsin because I had come out as transsexual and a lot of people weren't okay with it and so I was kind of feeling burned like a feel like extreme fear rejection and like just the fact that I felt okay to like tell them right when I first met them that I'd like support from you guys helping me deal with you know my growth just that Foundation of safety I mean they feed me so and that's a that's a bonus to to come on tough up before I entered this program I didn't have uh any support system and I was struggling with my sexuality you know and being homeless and so you compile all those things and it leaves you feeling pretty hopeless if I hadn't moved in with them I um don't know where I would be right now the jbt host home program is the only program of its like across the country it is a community response to a community need and I think it's also important because it gives the jtq adult community an opportunity to really be a part of the solution there's some pieces of my own personal history um around the importance of family and having significant adults Step Up um I lived in foster care through high school um and know how really important it is for adults to step up Holly and Omar are both living independently now and are each pursuing careers that focus on education right now I'm trying to sort of give back my time uh hopefully can get this position with the why I'm working with after school like Youth and working with some of the younger kids in me like kindergarten to Junior High what I want to do is uh use the power that film has to make change open people's minds a little bit about some of the issues that they don't necessarily think about every day I've been homeless for about a year and a half and we were on the stre together for about few this house was built 1905 you turn on the he right Holly still has a key to the house I like knowing that she thinks of this as home base I do plan on being a part of Michelle and Jill's lives you know for a long time as long as they let me do laundry we have homeless youth or queer we have adult queers with extra bedrooms at its most simple level it's beautiful why can't we have this in every Community we started the foundation soon after Matt's death actually we incorporated on his birthday in 1998 when Matt was in the hospital we began to receive a lot of uh some money a memorial toat or help with Hospital expenses or legal expenses or things like that college students sending us a dollar to go get a cup of coffee you know it's it was a very touching experience these people were sending the money from their hearts and we wanted to do something really positive and productive for them with this money we started as a memorial Foundation but now we are absolutely proactive interested in getting the message out and creating an environment of acceptance and respect this is Judy Shepard and you're watching in the Life still to come on in the Life dangerous living it's not impossible to go out and have sex but it is impossible to live a gay lesbian life introducing campaign 2004 all we're talking about is equality under the law the new frontier in the AIDS crisis we're seeing things that we've never seen before and in combination with HIV disease the picture is definitely muddled it's very gray and of course Harvey don't make me give this lecture again next year as America gears up for the presidential elections this November in the life has invited all announced candidates to discuss their plans for America's Square population and in the coming months we'll profile all candidates who agreed to appear on in the life in our new series campaign 2004 our first candidate is the former Governor of Vermont Howard de Dean I think people have a right to say who they are and not have to apologize for it Howard de the governor of the state ofar town did not move to Vermont as many had predicted the National Education Association is not dedicated to recruiting all children to become homosexual as many of people and because those things simply didn't happen people are back to doing what vermers always do which is to live their own lives in December of 1999 V Governor howardan led the effort to Institute civil unions for gays and lesbians in Vermont what the civil unions Bill does is to say that a gay person who is not allowed to get married has the same rights that I do all these things that I can get because I'm married without thinking about it gay people couldn't get in our state now they can it was history and the making when we're talking about civil unions we're not talking about some sanctioning of some lifestyle that people disapprove of we're simply talking about legal rights there were many conservative Democrats who were uncomfortable with his whole and what I did was just go and spend time with them I went and had big public meetings in different parts of the state and let them give me hell for two hours about why I did this and I explain why what we did had to be done and in the end I got most of them back all we're talking about is equality under the law and I believe that most Americans whether they're comfortable or uncomfortable with gay the gay and lesbian Community believe that all Americans should be equal under the law when the Emancipation Proclamation was signed the majority of white people in the north did not support it and Lincoln did it anyway after much agonizing we believe in human dignity in Vermont and even though we struggle with it because we're human beings we try to keep the ideals of what Vermont is and what America is back when there were slaves in every state in the country Vermont banned slavery in 1777 before we even joined the union we have a very strong commitment that we will not abuse other human beings for our own gain and we struggle with that we're not perfect in January 2003 How would announced his bid for the presidency first of all I doubt very much that gay issues are going to be the deciding issue in the next presidential election I think most people are going to be worried about health insurance and they're going to be worried about the economy and their jobs the principal issues I'm running on are I want a balanced budget we cannot afford to go back to the old borrow and spend politics of the 1980s we've got to have some people who are fiscally responsible secondly I want health insurance for every American we're the richest and most powerful Society in the face of the Earth we're the only industrialized country that doesn't help health Insurance most people in Vermont do not think of me as a liberal you know I'm fairly conservative about Law and Order I get support uh because I don't believe that we ought to be taking away people's hunting rifles and things like that we're one of the best managed fiscal states in the country we haven't gone out and borrowed a bunch of money we've paid off most of our debt inside Vermont we're not seen as liberal but we are very pro-human rights I believe in human Justice for everybody people talk about special rights that's something that they hear from Spin Doctors and sly political managers who are looking to drive a wedge a hate wedge between different sections of the electorate the phrase special rights is really a coded hate speech because it implies that we favor some minority over the majority and that pushes a lot of buttons in the majority we're the most diverse Nation on Earth if we don't include everybody and become as comfortable as we can with all different kinds of people then the country is not going to succeed here's the bottom line hate kills it not only kills the victims of hate but it also kills the people that hate Prejudice and bigotry against gays is hate the difference between success and failure in human civilization is the willingness of leadership to stand up against hate because that is the single most destructive emotion that we have and it's the one that's going to be the difference between whether we continue as a civilized world or whether we don't I'm Judith Light and you're watching America's Gay and Lesbian News Magazine in the life [Music] just to further complicate The elusive definition of this homosexual lifestyle in the Life decided to follow filmmakers John scagliotti and Janet boss into the developing world where LGBT people are emerging along with everyone else most of their lives would be Unthinkable in America and as they come out frequently into hostile societies they are often finding they have nowhere to go in tonight's real tooreal dangerous living my sexuality is my own sexuality it doesn't belong to anybody the crime that you've been accused of is just one of the taboos that nobody should talk about sex religion and when you have a Taboo it's difficult to share it with other people homosexuality has always been in the world I mean from ancient times it's not impossible to go out and have sex but it is impossible to live a gay and lesbian life and I find so much of uh same sex uh references Etc in our temples depictions in our sculpture in our art each country has a distinct flavor a distinct history a distinct culture and their own um press of elements that they have to deal with in Pakistan for example the law against sodomy is not a religious law it's a law that we acquired or we inherited from our Colonial past in fact it is homophobia I think that is is a western thing we have a big history of tolerating homosexuality in the Islamic civilization so I think in Islamic country where I come from it's just it's a very very Thin Line as long as you don't identify yourself you're gay you can practice homosexuality but the moment you talk about it it becomes a problem there are definitely more regions or more countries that are that are more tolerant than others Latin America has very visible Gay Culture Pride parades parties organizing all kinds of gay and lesbian culture coming out as a political process talking about it is a political process to make a statement and and walk on a street and say hey I'm gay is very very strong statement to make that's a price to pay for visibility it takes a lot of courage we didn't want to say it's a gay much we put it under human rights we were there also in in the front line with our rainbow flag and everything they could be seen by their families they could be seen by the Press they could be photographed their friends and uh I think these people in our film were talking about the first time they ever did that and how how life changing it was for them to do that I've never cried so much that I cried that day it was just too much it was the best day of my life I would say the United Nations has started taking up the issues of sexual minorities around the world and is beginning to see it as an important issue May Secretary General kopani saw some excerpts of this film and said this is an important issue for the United Nations to begin to work on any guy who is convicted of homosexuality or rape must be castrated as someone says in our film visibility brings the bullet in some cases when you become visible the authorities for many reasons need to crack down let them be gay in the United States in Europe and elsewhere they shall beet people here political organizing is very frightening in these countries gays and lesbians are meeting and getting together but you talk about trying to organize around the issue of AIDS and you're in trouble that was our main agenda in fact I think one of the first thing we said was not gay rights but we had the right to save sex in The Last 5 Years AIDS funding started filtering from the West into the developing world and AIDS was therefore a catalyst and bringing out some gay and lesbian people in some of these countries it was really really hard to find images that sort of spoke to lesbians experiences in developing countries because there's not so much the bar as the public culture it's really sort of private networks to be out can be very dangerous in other cultures there are some ancient roles for for people with a sort of mixed female male gender so for instance in Thailand there's a thae kickboxer who is male to female transgender [Music] the first use of the internet was just to let people meet each other then it became a little more political became organizing kids all over the world watch MTV when it finally started being positive about lesbian people you know when they showed two men kissing or two two women holding hands they were seeing it all over the world talking about homosexual right is a western idea but homosexuality is not a western idea I perceive something major has happened around the world about gay identity and that is what we're perceiving in dangerous living is the the idea that gay identity has now become become a concept for people within the developing world that is different than just the idea of people having same [Music] sex AIDS infections in adults over 50 are rising twice as fast as those in younger adults and in the past decade as medications have improved and positive lives have been extended the number of people above 50 living with AIDS has more than quintupled producing a boning lifestyle that no one ever expected I live in a city that's full of History Philadelphia is much more than home to B his family settled here in the 17th century so it was only natural that he developed a love for history and as a result antiques so much so that he opened his own shop not far from the neighborhood known as Antique Row and had enough money to start my own business and I thought it was a about time to get out on my own which I did in 1987 had the shop for 15 years but today that's all a distant memory Bert who says he was infected around 1990 and was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS 5 years ago was forced to close the shop shortly after he got sick 10 years ago I was a middle class gay man and now I live below the poverty level unfortunately Bert story is not uncommon It's a cruel Twist on what many think of as one of the greatest Medical developments of our time HIV is becoming more a long-term chronic condition than an immediate death sentence but now that many people with HIV are living literally decades after diagnosis there are long-term implications not just Financial but medical and social as well I used to think of myself as a dinosaur um being the age that I am and still being alive when all of my contemporaries and My Friends Are Dead basically um I now think of myself more as an endangered species how are you but being alive longer is nothing that people like bird now 56 years old ever planned on now that we have the new medications and we're looking at people living longer the rules have changed Dr Margaret chzn is deputy director of the National Institutes of Health Center for complimentary and alternative medicine one of her Specialties is HIV people spent down the money that they had and then in the midst of doing that they discovered these new medications and people's life trajectory changed dramatically it was as though someone opened a whole new chapter of their life but they didn't have the resources to help uh fund that chapter that'll give you your demographic like bird is trying to fund his chapter by working part-time at Philadelphia fight and AIDS Services organization I'm on 10 medications for F four or five conditions fewer than half of those prescription drugs are for AIDS the others heart disease high cholesterol arthritis gout and depression that's another big piece of the puzzle for those growing older with AIDS dealing with the conditions that typically come along with aging side effects frequent changing of regimens because one drug doesn't work well with another and never really knowing whether a symptom is AIDS related or age ated the old joke is that if you hang by your fingernails long enough you get used to it uh 5 years of these things I've become used to them we've only been watching this disease for about 20 years we've only had some of the antis maybe 10 look straight over my shoulder Dr Veronica Jenkins runs a practice that handles well over a thousand patients in Washington DC on this day Brenda Carpenter is in for a checkup HIV positive 68 years old and also dealing with five other conditions many age related we're seeing things that we've never seen before and in combination with HIV disease the picture is definitely muddled it's very gray the other concern the long-term effects of the newer medicines for HIV particularly proteas Inhibitors we didn't understand the quality of life that living longer would cause them to have as a result of the medicine and for people like Bert that means lingering fears I've had the occasional scare where I've had um tests done for liver function and kidney function uh where there were indications of elevated uh toxicities in my in both my liver and kidneys so Dr Jenkins and others are calling for more research and more physician training in these areas primarily because of Statistics like this one a survey of 330 primary care physicians found that 40% nearly half report rarely or never asking patients over 50 about HIV the thing is most primary care physicians don't see us older folks as being at risk and we don't always feel comfortable sharing the details of our sex lives with a doctor who may be half our age educational videos like this one are trying to combat the problem of mischances and misdiagnosis but it takes more than education experts say it often means doctors having to play detective unfortunately there are examples where people came to their uh Primary Care clinicians they were seniors and they said you know I think I really ought to take one of those HIV tests and the doctor discouraged them and said oh no don't someone like you oh don't worry about it that's in part because the early warning signs of HIV like fatigue loss of appetite flu like symptoms and confusion are also common to many age related conditions so some say the estimate that seniors represent 11% of all HIV cases in this country may actually be too low Dr Cynthia jear is among those clinicians on the front lines of the Aging with AIDS battle now I think there is more concern that people may die from the comorbidities of Aging rather than the com complications of HIV Dr jar and a team at the Veterans Affairs medical centers are recruiting 6,000 older people for a sixe study to make a comparison between aging veterans who have HIV versus those who do not have HIV and that's not all the graying of the AIDS epidemic is gaining attention from many circles researchers who have just published the first ever edition of a medical journal devoted entirely to HIV in people middle-aged and older survivors who have formed groups like The National Association of HIV over 50 noff just held its fifth annual conference in Scottdale Arizona and Advocates like ship the senior HIV intervention project a unique program based in Florida that reaches out to those 50 plus through the web educational materials counseling and testing I was diagnosed in the summer of 1986 um it's a time that I refer to as the time when the sun fell out of the sky today Michael St Andress is 53 though he's been dealing with HIV for 17 years he's just now adjusting to the conditions of Aging as well like the diabetes diagnosis he was recently given so I've got diabetes I have hypertension and I have high cholesterol uh and so all of those things are being dealt with at the same time in combination with the therapies that I take for the HIV when it comes to medication people like Michael have quite a balancing act on their hands how do these highly effective antiretrovirals act if you add in cardiovascular medications or medications for prostate cancer or other conditions we just don't know I think a large part of the fact that I've remained as as healthy as I have is because I've remained active and I've it's been about an attitude it's a philosophy that many say comes with a second chance at life and needs to be put to good use when my doctor said Wilder I can give you a normal life expectancy to me that was almost as dramatic as given the um HIV you know positive test results originally hi David he calls himself Wilder just Wilder the last name of his partner Allan who died from AIDS six years ago when you're not prepared to become old you're not ready so I'm not I'm not ready to be old I'm just ready to be here now when a style IST in Washington DC Wilder is using the here and now to pass along some life lessons well it's not just safe sex it's just like Safe Life taking every opportunity with his clients because uh HIV is such an an elusive disease we never know to talk about his HIV status and prevention and you never know if someone else is uh telling you the truth about who they are so you always want to just like protect yourself Wilder says he wonders if this is his fate kept here to do some good as a long-term Survivor for 22 years I've lived with knowing that there may not be any tomorrow and I've seen not only my uh lover life partner you know struck down uh die in front of me uh my friend shooting themselves uh people jumping off of buildings and killing themselves in many different ways just like but Wilder doesn't sound as optimistic about the social impact of HIV and AIDS and his concern is echoed by many long-term survivors this is still a disease filled with stigma and many say it's a misconception that those infected have a vast support system nobody wants them HIV positive people are faced now with a kind of lonely future and that's not just an opinion take a look at the findings of a recent study done in New York City acrea the AIDS community research initiative of America surveyed people with HIV who were in their late 40s to early 70s 71% said they lived alone and a majority reported having to do things for themselves because no one is available to help them out back in Philadelphia bird is trying to do his part to change that at least in his community it's called positively gay and it's starting on the web an information site a Source site and also a social site so that gay HIV positive men can get together and just be open and free with their diagnosis and be open and free with plans for the future an unexpected pleasure and challenge for many of those over 50 with HIV thinking about the future is something new for many of us especially those of us who are older because we really didn't think that there was going to be an old age we were so afraid of dying every day now we cannot be afraid of living and finally in outakes Harvey take on Pride and Prejudice so what happened was these words are making me nervous well so far that's not offensive come on Papa what do you say okay here's a lecture from being useful in this world 101 you know I hate doing this to your kids but sometimes you leave me no choice this past gay day I was complaining to a new acquaintance how peeved I was to be working and therefore unable to march in the annual gayday parade hey says he I never go hate that March I tried to stay calm hate it you do and what is it you hate about it oh man all those freaks out there naked in the streets and the drag queens and those topless dikes I want no part of it never go near it still biting my tongue and in your perfect world what would the heritage of pride parade look like well how about having some normal looking people aren't we just people why do we only see Freaks and drag queens and flapping private parts why doesn't the parade ever look like me and my friends we're part of the community too actually I answered in measured tones if you sit at home and let the rest of us do your work you're not really part of the community you're a leech a hanger on a drain on the energies and resources of the rest of us and furthermore if you want to know why the parade does not look like you it's because you and your friends sit at home and complain instead of showing up you want to be represented then represent pick your lazy butt up get it out on the street and stop making everyone else do the work for you oh you're the first one to celebrate Supreme Court giving us a victory but do you ever do anything to make it happen we know you aren't out there on the streets protesting with the Freaks and drag queens so what did you do did you send a check to lamb the legal defense fund did you write a letter to your Congress person telling them you're an openly homosexual person in their District did you write a letter to the editor of your local paper demanding full rights of citizenship ever call your local TV station and ask to be represented in their programming are you even out to everyone in your life if you want the community to reflect who you are you have to be part of the community if you want the parade to look like you you got to be in it and if you want to celebrate our victories with any honest feeling then do some of the hard work that makes victories possible the rest of us have plenty tired to carry in you and by the way there are tens of thousands of regularl looking folks marching every single year why the media never shows them on TV or in photos is Grist for another entire program see you next month I'm Stacy anchin for all of us at in the life here at Hell in New York thank you for watching and we'll see you next month in the life is funded in part by the H van amaran Foundation additional support provided by the Ford Foundation The Pride [Music] Foundation the Gil [Music] Foundation the Overbrook Foundation the rainbow endowment the Ted Snowden Foundation the Arcus Foundation Adam a funding collaborative empowering queer youth Mel hitz Jim step and Peter Zimmer Wexler Zimmerman charitable trust and the annual support of in the Life members like you [Music]