In the Life: Ep. 1212, "Family Law"

and this month's in the life sexual intimacy is illegal on the outskirts of the law we have to plead our case in puerto rico a legislator accused her of being a lesbian and said that she could be arrested after 9 11 they were sorry about the loss of my friend and in straight america who the hell was guiding them strollers chasing them toddlers pushing them swings slam poet emmanuel xavier hosts family law america's gay and lesbian news magazine in the life well let's change the law in the life is funded in part by the hvan american foundation additional support provided by the ford foundation the gill foundation the pride foundation the collingwood foundation the rainbow endowment michael a levin and the annual support of in the life members like you liberty presumes an autonomy of self that includes freedom of thought belief expression and certain intimate conduct on june 26 2003 the supreme court of the united states found that homosexuals hold those rights too in lawrence versus texas justice kennedy used those words to abolish all sodomy laws in the united states and its territories by criminalizing gay men and lesbians these laws created a foundation for countless other discriminations and with this watershed ruling that foundation is gone i'm emmanuel xavier and tonight on in the life family law loving spouses legal strangers unfortunately you're not married in the eyes of california children at risk in florida the kids in the real world are sort of up for grabs and nowhere to run he connected and hit me in the face and broke my cheek bone with the lawrence decision the supreme court overturned laws still on the books in 13 states that branded gay men and lesbians sex offenders across america our communities have long defied that indictment in the late 90s margarita sanchez challenged the sodomy laws of puerto rico working within her political system and her religion to fight the law that made her a criminal in her own country sanchez de leon i belong to the universal fraternity of the metropolitan community church this church was founded 30 years ago in the united states and it's the first american church to be open to the gay and lesbian community has been a leader in the civil rights community and human rights community in puerto rico for many years working not just on lesbian and gay rights issues but on all kinds of social justice issues on on peace issues economic equality in 1997 the house of representatives was presented with a project that became known as the project against gay marriage margarita was testifying before the um the legislature in puerto rico she was testifying in opposition to a bill that would prohibit gays and lesbians from marrying when it was time for me to testify along with other religious leaders against the project i was the only person who was asked about her sexual orientation she was basically you know verbally attacked by a legislator who accused her of being a lesbian and said that she was in violation of puerto rico's sodomy statute and as a result she could be arrested i think many people would have been scared and intimidated and silenced by that and her reaction was exactly the opposite which was to decide to take on that law and to do everything she could to remove that law so the people could no longer use it against her and other gays and lesbians in november of 1997 we went to the department of justice to openly confess that we were in violation of article 103 to see what the state would do we were ready to go to jail for those violations because even though we understood it was a law it was an unfair law article 103 which is puerto rico sodomy statute uses very antiquated language it makes it a crime for anybody in puerto rico to engage in what the law calls the crime against nature which legally we understand to mean anal sex in addition it prohibits gays and lesbians from engaging in any kind of sexual intimacy whatsoever it's a felony and the punishment is up to 10 years in prison this lawsuit hasn't upset me very much personally it has however affected my partner particularly because of the public exposure associated with the lawsuit even though her name doesn't appear on the lawsuit obviously she's been exposed she's been put in a difficult position because her family contrary to mine has not been open to her sexual orientation nor to our relationship last year we started a demonstration called expression at 5. we started it on the 29th of january 1999 which is the international day of non-violence and peace that day is also the anniversary of the death of mahatma gandhi in this context of non-violence and peace we have this activity every friday in front of the capitol building in these demonstrations we condemn homophobia and puerto rico in our society and within its structures whether social or culturalism even though we concentrate on homophobia we understand that all social exclusions have the same roots we are a group that has suffered a lot of invisibility this is a way to tell society especially to those who rule our country that we exist that we are citizens that we have rights and that we should be heard my faith has led me to believe that it's very important to get involved and to work on social issues but my faith did come first as a strong follower of jesus i believe that jesus stood for and fought for the welfare of people jesus didn't only preach for people to repent he would feed people he would heal people and he would denounce situations in their social in 1960 every state in this country had a sodomy stated on the books today of course only 17 states have sodomy statutes on the books and those laws the of the laws that have been eliminated have been eliminated by legislatures which have repealed them and some of them have been eliminated by lawsuits like this one basically basically article 103 impacts the gay community in the following manner it makes our conduct and our lives a crime and making the gay and lesbian segment of the population illegal has very serious consequences there was a case that was decided last year by the court of appeals in puerto rico the case involved two gay men who were a couple one of the men assaulted the other man and the the district attorney's office went to prosecute the man who was guilty of engaging in domestic violence and the court ruled that the laws that prohibit domestic violence in puerto rico can't be used to protect gay people in relationships those relationships aren't entitled to protection because under puerto rico's sodomy statute the the sexual intimacy that those relationships involve is illegal as gays and lesbians we have felt the impact of these views on our personal lives this is perhaps what informs our decision to take on these social issues and these political actions it's that we can personally identify with oppression i guess we can say that it's in light of the discrimination against us that we forge our ideals puerto rico's article 103 like all sodomy laws then on the books was overturned by lawrence versus texas margarita sanchez is no longer a felon in the eyes of her country though the supreme court decriminalized the lives of gays and lesbians the ruling doesn't extend equal protection to our relationships we are out of the closet and safe in the bedroom but only in the bedroom so for now you must continue to struggle for the rights that our government denies us even in the face of tragedy the morning of september 11th started just like any other ordinary day we got up at our usual time had breakfast tony was ready to go around about 8 30. and i guess it was probably about 8 00 8 33 that you know i gave him a hug kissed him told him i loved him and said goodbye and he gave me a kiss and told me he loved me and said goodbye and um he walked out the door he was in the concourse uh having coffee that his second cup of coffee for the morning he felt the first tower get hit and went back upstairs to tower two to begin the evacuation process so his security team which is six of them they got 3 700 morgan stanley employees out of the building unharmed before the second plane hit their tower and then he went back in tower 2 along with the firemen to make sure everyone was out and that's when tower two collapsed so um i know that he was in the building when the tower collapsed and unfortunately that all that news came to me um on that friday september 14th which was our 26th anniversary morning of september 11th started as usual we had a running joke but i always meant it for traffic and i said every morning don't let the bastards get you but that tea they caught her i had heard on the television that first plane had gone into the world trade center and then the second plane went in and i called her at the pentagon because they don't always they don't always get transmissions and so we talked about it and she said yeah the world was a little little crazy said i'll see you tonight and i didn't and she didn't come home peggy neff and sheila hein shared a life together for almost 18 years seven years ago they bought a house in hyattsville maryland and in 1995 they prepared wills that left all their possessions to each other peggy had just gotten her real estate license and was set to embark on a new career but instead of facing a future with sheila peggy was suddenly alone and without the safety net that would have been provided to a married couple immediately after the attacks the country came together and contributed to help the victims of of the attacks large relief organizations like the red cross because there are no legal connections to our relationships we were afraid that some of these agencies would not treat gay people fairly and equally in distributing these relief funds this poor woman who met me first said who have you lost i said i've lost my partner and she immediately said what's her name i said no i lost my partner. and she said oh what was she called i said i'm a gay man and she was very embarrassed but that's just an indication she was not attuned to the fact that gay people were suffering along with heterosexuals in this tragic event even those charities and relief agencies that have been officially welcoming we've had to work with them to get them to train their people and make sure everyone understands what that policy is while many agencies open their doors to gay and lesbian families providing much needed short-term relief for things like mortgage or rent payments many kinds of long-term assistance will not be accessible to same-sex partners marriage brings all of these rights and protections to a couple when when a person who is married died their spouse has all kinds of automatic protections to inherit the vast majority of the individual's estate the ability to bring a lawsuit to sue anybody who might have been responsible for that death those are the two really important ones advocacy groups like the empire state pride agenda were instrumental in getting new york governor george pataki to issue an executive order granting the surviving partners of gay victims equal benefits from the state's crime victims board tomorrow i'm signing an executive order changing that functioning of the crime victims board so that gay and lesbian couples will not undergo that type of discrimination unfortunately for peggy neff governor jim gilmore of virginia was not as sympathetic i got a very nice letter back from them saying they were terribly sorry about the loss of my friend but according to laws of descent that they could only give to blood relatives or spouse and obviously i didn't fit their criteria therefore they were terribly sorry realizing the many inequities facing gays and lesbians affected by 9 11 the empire state pride agenda lambda legal defense and education fund the gay and lesbian anti-violence project and the stonewall community foundation in new york with help from the human rights campaign in washington dc pooled their resources and created the september 11th gay and lesbian family fund we started receiving calls here at the anti-violence project people at lambda also started receiving calls and people at the human rights campaign as well as the empire state pride agenda were all receiving calls from people who wanted to do something specifically for lesbian gay victims so money unsolicited started coming and before we knew it there was about 190 000 dollars that had been raised the gay and lesbian family fund dispersed its monies equally between all families whose applications were approved peggy neff john winter and william randolph each received an initial check for four thousand dollars the gifts that we can give can in no way make up for what they won't be getting from workers compensation or from pension funds that spouses will automatically be entitled to which is you know can be upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars so um it really is a symbolic gesture on the part of the community to say to these people that we feel for you we care about you and we recognize that this was a committed relationship and a family tony didn't have a will um and um all of his life insurance and his workers compensation all went into his estate which his sister was the executive so i got nothing in that area at all and while they tried to be as helpful as they could there's a certain limit to what they can do wesley had a birthday august 31st he turned 70 and was getting ready to retire the end of 2001. so he found that as part of the sort of retirement process you know now that i'm not working i can sort of focus on this will thing so we had talked about it but less than two weeks later wesley was gone without wills both william and john are considered legal strangers to their late partners and will most likely be ineligible for the federal government's september 11th victims compensation fund we're pretty sure that gay families that had wills where both partners had wills and named the other as the executor and beneficiary and a biological family member is not contesting we're pretty sure those people will be okay and be able to apply and receive funding we're much more concerned about those families that did not have wills obviously many many young people died and and just you know when you're 20 30 40 years old you just don't think of wells because we had wills what i will be doing is filing as personal representative for her estate when i file for the federal compensation fund and consequently yes i will keep the house i will keep the house also because sheila's mother thank god likes me she considered us a real couple and has offered all of the help that she can give also if i need it the federal funds you know the average check they're predicting will be 1.6 million dollars that would go to a spouse automatically for us it's up in the air we have to plead our case we don't know who that money will go to state relief allowed william randolph to remain in his home but john winter was unable to prove his partnership and was forced to move out because she did have proper documentation and sheila's mode did not contest her claim peggy neff was awarded over half a million dollars from the federal victim compensation fund as recently as 1990 only 41 cities and counties had laws banning workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation in the decades since then that number has tripled raising the total to over one hundred and twenty i'm stacey ann chen and you're watching in the life mr noel you have been charged with involuntary manslaughter of diane whipple my dog went nuts i'm in shock we're all in shock right now the jury find the defendant marjorie knowler guilty it was a story that shocked the country but for sharon smith it was more than just a news headline it was an event that took away her spouse for sharon and diane their relationship began the night they met in southern california in 1994. it was just energy as soon as i met her it was just there was kind of instant energy there they spent the next seven years creating a life together when sharon's job took them to san francisco they chose a neighborhood overlooking the golden gate bridge called pacific heights you know we had dreams and you know we were making plans those plans were shattered on january 26 2001. the day it happened it was a friday diane was bringing groceries into the house and her neighbor down the corridor in the apartment building marjorie noller was walking two presa canario dogs one of the dogs lunged at diane and they literally went after her and unfortunately they got to her then took out a good portion of her throat as i approach the block where we live there is two ambulances i look ahead and i see my landlord and i run up to her and she looks at me wide as a ghost and she said oh my god she got bit we get to the hospital we're in the emergency room and they sit me down when the surgeon is telling me you need to focus and that's when he said she lost almost all her blood in the hallway and then i see her and it wasn't her they pretty much covered her up for me and um you know except for her face and it was just there's so much damage it just didn't even register it was her diane alexis whipple passed away later that night and sharon's nightmare got even uglier as the dog's owners began speaking to the media i had no knowledge that he would do anything like that i mean how can you prevent something you don't know is going to happen sharon went to see an attorney michael cordoza hoping to get help sending the dog's owners to jail what she didn't understand was that the victim has very little say in a criminal prosecution but there was another alternative and i said sharon when one spouse loses another spouse in a negligent situation the other spouse can sue for wrongful death it's like a monetary apology from the person who caused the negligence i thought okay well that sounds good this is my way of feeling like i'm going to hold them accountable but unfortunately you're not married in the eyes of california and that's when i said to him you know well what do i need to do he said well you'd have to change the law so okay well let's change the law the criminal case was about justice for diane the civil case is about justice for the relationship between sharon and diane as the dog's owners went on trial for diane's death sharon and her lawyer went forward with the civil case a wrongful death lawsuit they asked the national center for lesbian rights to come on as co-counsel up until sharon's case never in this country had a same sex surviving spouse been able to sue for wrongful death creation of a domestic partnership is the closest that a gay and lesbian couple gay or lesbian couple can come to approximating the status of marriage without showing that diane was her life partner sharon could not even begin her case the thing that was helpful for sharon smith was that at least she had a will that was created by her now lost partner that said this is the person i want to have get everything and that was at least enough to get her through the courthouse door not only did diane leave a will but sharon had registered her as a domestic partner for work benefits this proved their status as domestic partners but still did not ensure them the same rights as married couples in the absence of wills and so forth the relationship is simply not recognizable it's presumed to be a casual relationship and you are considered to be what's called legal strangers the dog's owners ask the court to throw the case out on the grounds that a lesbian partner has no right to bring a wrongful death claim but the judge refused to dismiss the case he ruled that under the state constitution sharon was dianne's spouse it was a landmark legal ruling the judge expanded the definition of spouse in california he said spouse means same-sex spouse this case is for the first time recognizing a domestic partner as a family member who has a right to recompense for her loss that was the first victory the next goal was to change the law so that every gay couple in california would have this same right fortunately openly lesbian assembly woman carol migdon was already sponsoring a bill in the state legislature to protect domestic partnerships it was called ab25 this was a bill that was vetoed 1998 it came up in 99 it came up in 2000. when it came up again in 2001 assemblywoman migdon asked for sharon's help she came to sacramento and testified on behalf of the bill and you know helped put a face on a horrific tragic circumstance to let dignity to the proceeding ab25 passed and in january 2002 it became law in california but not every couple has paperwork that can help them fight for the relationship in the absence of any paperwork you have as much legal right as if your roommate or your best friend died it takes several documents to help protect a domestic partnership the most basic and obvious are wills powers of attorney health care proxies um having both people shown on a lease if they live in an apartment or on the deed if they both own a home if a tragedy hits these documents may be the only way to preserve a partner's rights in sharon's case they made it possible for her to carry out diane's legacy i have forced myself to stay focused on what is this all about and it's all about her still to come on in the life when abuse hits home the incidence of domestic violence in the queer community is parallel to the incidence of domestic violence in the straight community nypd blue turns a new shade of pink to be like you are the gay character representing all gay people is absurd and i would never want to take that on and harvey asked the burning question of our time are heterosexuals hello my name is klaus vovroyd ich bin der regina bergermeister from berlin and yest in the life without legal recognition of our relationships we cannot defend our partners and we can't always protect our children in florida the law even denies certain children the right to a stable home rosie o'donnell outed herself on national television to draw attention to a florida law that prohibits gays and lesbians from adopting children rosie who has dual residency in new york and miami has created a family with her partner kelly carpenter and their three adopted children but recently rosie faced a harsh reality under florida law she can never adopt the child she once fostered because she's gay i don't think america knows what a gay parent looks like i am the gay parent while rosie o'donnell's activism will likely help the movement to change florida's anti-gay law florida's growing population of gay families has been suffering silently the reason is a 25 year old law that singles out gays and lesbians it reads quote no person who is otherwise eligible under this statute can adopt if he or she is a homosexual sexuality is not a precursor to good parenting in 1997 a county judge refused to rule the ban unconstitutional and in 1999 the aclu filed the first federal civil lawsuit on behalf of foster parents steve lofton and roger croteau it was thrown out of court and is now on appeal florida's ban on adoption by lesbians and gay men violates the guaranteed equal protection under the law of the united states constitution the law targets lesbians and gay men and no one else singles them out for exclusion from adoption despite the fact there is that there is no reason to believe that lesbians and gay men can't be and aren't good parents ironically the state allows gays and lesbians to become certified foster parents they simply can't legally adopt the foster children they have nurtured the aclu's case against the state involves three plaintiffs all who charge that the law is unconstitutional these families stand to lose children they've fostered since birth and all of the plaintiffs are facing the reality that they can never create the kind of long-term stability for these children adoption can provide steve lofton and roger croteau partners for more than 17 years stand to lose 11 year old bert a child who has been with them since birth he was born hiv positive as were the rest of their foster kids but now that burt is hiv negative the state says it wants to find him a permanent heterosexual home the law dates back to 1977 when entertainer anita bryant spearheaded an anti-gay crusade her movement was successful and the florida legislature passed the law by a sweeping margin nobody knew who was gay or lesbian at the time no one was out this was 1977 25 years ago and it was a completely different environment elaine bloom a conservative democrat was one of those legislators who voted in favor of the ban a vote she now regrets i had to go back search through all my old house journals and it's easy it's there you know once you see the record i think it was may 31st 1977. so i did it and i'm sorry elaine has personally set out to convince her fellow legislators to admit they made a mistake too and stand behind repealing the law i talked to some of my former colleagues and said we have an opportunity to at least go public with our own views now do you agree to a statement that says in 1977 we made a mistake on this particular vote because it denied children the opportunity for loving supportive families elaine didn't know it then but her son david was gay and she had just enacted a law that could affect him years later i feel remiss is that i have never discussed with my mother that phil in 1977 i never asked her how she voted david and his partner had their son when they lived in new york they recently moved to florida where the adoption ban has no effect on them but it does on other gays and lesbians raising kids in florida wayne laroux smith and dan scan are also plaintiffs in the aclu lawsuit they've been together for nearly 10 years and live in florida's key west for the past three years they've opened their doors to the state's foster children they also charge that the law is unconstitutional and labels them unfit parents we saw 11 children through our house now in the foster care system and each of them had their own individual problems of neglect abuse or abandonment that we had to deal with and bringing those kids around is one of the most difficult jobs i've ever encountered wayne and dan are currently taking care of two little boys whose identities we have to protect the toughest part is learning what they've been through that brought them here our main goal with our children is providing them safety in our home this is their safe place they don't have to fear anything when they're here my greatest hope is to have just made a difference no matter how small or how large in their lives the american psychological association the american academy of pediatrics and the child welfare league disagree with those who say homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to adopt what the state of florida truly is saying is that people who are gay or lesbian or bisexual are wonderful people to take care of foster children who have no other place to be placed and yet you can place them for permanent adoption it doesn't make any sense there are currently more than 3 400 kids waiting to be adopted in the state of florida right now 400 of them are being raised in gay or lesbian foster homes and given the chance the majority would adopt the children they are fostering if the gay adoption ban is repealed the hopeful byproduct would be that you'd have more people seeking to adopt children it was here at florida's gladstone center in south miami a safe haven for abused girls where rosie was inspired to become a licensed foster parent she was so moved by the place and she was so moved by the mission of caring and the high level of quality that the kids receive here that she wanted to become more involved that meant getting licensed to foster children in the state of florida and nowhere on that application does it ask the question are you a homosexual i call it the big don't ask don't tell conspiracy the impact of florida's anti-gay adoption law reaches far beyond foster parenting it also prevents gay and lesbian couples the right to seek second parent adoptions robin singer and zibby giardina of fort lauderdale florida together for more than 13 years decided to have their own children robin is the biological parent through donor insemination the issue becomes obviously if god forbid something happens to me the kids you know really in the real world is sort of up for grabs legally she has no right you know it's out of our hands i mean morally there are children in our hearts in our family and nobody can change that irrespective of what the the laws may or may not say they call me mom z i'm mom z they're as much my children as they are robin's children i chose to give them zibby's last name because it was the only piece that i could give her to connect you know the puzzle pieces zibby did try to obtain legal guardianship of her children but was advised that it would be a long and costly court battle one that she would never win i have no ground to stand on at all in this state in the state of florida the florida law prevents these second parent adoptions from taking place and means that children are who otherwise could benefit from having two legally responsible parents only can have one but there are ways around the florida law when naomi parker adopted her daughter jamira from the state of new jersey she found a loophole because jamira's legal place of birth and residence was in the state of new jersey florida couldn't do anything about it so it was like a more of a slam dunk in the state of florida's faith jamerra was a crack baby and at 22 months she had already been in five foster homes today she is a thriving nine-year-old naomi and her partner susan are also caring for naomi's biological daughter bria they are not only fighting for the day they can give jamira the benefits of two legal parents they are fighting for the rights of all gays and lesbians who want to create families without having to circumvent the law in the meantime they try not to worry about the underlying threat the law poses to jamara's safety i wish like the law will change and so it will protect me and my sister i agree brill that i hope to see the law change to myself to protect me my sister and our family the aclu took on the florida adoption ban a federal appeals court in march of 2003 but as of press time the adoption ban remains in place do existing outside of the law means gays and lesbians lose its basic protections and live inside systems that do not know how to include us or our relationships gays and lesbians navigate one set of obstacles when these systems cannot deal with same-sex spouses and we hit still other obstacles that we are faced with same-sex spousal abuse when the subject of domestic violence is addressed the image that typically comes to mind is a woman abused by her husband or boyfriend but according to statistics domestic violence occurs just as frequently in same-sex relationships as in heterosexual couples and in both cases the numbers are alarming it's an issue that the gay and lesbian community has been slow to respond to but anti-violence groups consider domestic violence to be a serious health problem and are working with victims to bring this closeted issue out into the open we spoke to two gay men who have been victims of physical abuse one of them still fearing for his safety would not be identified on camera there's a big sense of shame because of being a gay man who is should be able to protect himself we met and fell in love everything felt right he had many qualities that i i really admired everything happened so fast from the very beginning i lost control of my identity of who i was he was trying to come out to his family there was a lot of difficult phone calls you know followed by a lot of a lot of drinking first it was just threats and then it became slaps and kicks he became violent and i was trying to deflect uh and talk him down basic basically and and and he he connected and hit me in the face and broke my cheekbone and he chased me down and basically got a hold of me my throat and wouldn't let go and i pushed him off and i threatened to call the police and he said if i did he would kill me i needed help and i came to the fenway violence recovery program not quite sure knowing what i would get the violence recovery program at fenway community health we serve people who identify as gay lesbian bisexual or transgender and our domestic violence services include short-term counseling we do support and safety planning we do advocacy which can include police advocacy helping people to deal with police and report crimes to the police we also do court advocacy which can include going to court with people and helping them talk to the judge as more gay people come forward with their stories of domestic abuse organizations like new york's anti-violence project are working to draw awareness to the problem at the anti-violence project we define domestic violence as any pattern of behavior which coerces dominates or isolates it's the exertion of any form of power which maintains control within an intimate relationship in 1999 the anti-violence project found that of reported cases among same-sex couples 56 percent of abuse victims were men and 42 percent were women what we do know from the limited research that has been done is that the incidence of domestic violence in the queer community is parallel to the incidence of domestic violence in the straight community and that number varies depending on the study between a quarter and a third of all relationships domestic violence happens within lesbian gay transgender and bisexual relationships similarly but also differently from heterosexual relationships getting the legal system and service providers to understand the dynamics of same-sex relationships is one challenge facing organizations like the anti-violence project and the fenway community center unfortunately most of those resources are not specifically designed to assist lesbian bisexual and transgender women however at the very least they will open the door for a woman they see a man coming down the walk they identify him immediately as the enemy and they don't even stop to think have we let a woman in who's an abuser and have we shut a man out who might be a victim but there are increasing examples of traditional service organizations responding to the needs of gay people who are seeking help to better serve the gay community in dallas the gay and lesbian center is working with a domestic violence program to create a shelter for gay men one of the first of its kind in the country we were contacted by the center and just began a dialogue about domestic violence and their concern or interest was what resources might be put together for gay men who are in a situation with domestic violence because there there was no facility to shelter them good afternoon dallas gay and lesbian community center we on average we're getting i'd say at least one call every two weeks of someone trying to find out about domestic violence what could be done where could they go what services were out there as gay organizations strive to educate mainstream institutions they are also working to get the gay community to look within and acknowledge that domestic violence is a serious problem that needs to be addressed there's often this feeling that we need to protect our community and we need to put you know not air the dirty laundry and we need to not give more fodder for the antis out there you know the people that like you know the fred phelps is out there the people that are gonna say all those relationships are dysfunctional and here's our proof that you know they beat each other up all the time and we don't want to show them that that happens and so what happens is then it forces the issue into the closet you know the truth of the matter is we are not making progress if in our own communities and in our own homes we're not creating safe spaces for our relationships to exist in healthful ways as our neighbors get to know us as we become visible everyday people we slowly take on mainstream civil rights on television screens across america nypd blue's bill brock trump is steadily changing the hearts of the squad and of the audience actor bill brockshaw plays john irvin the very efficient 15th squad secretary in the television series nypd blue during the filming of an episode on location in new york john irvin got the rare opportunity to be seen outside of the precinct even if it didn't turn out quite the way he had hoped when you're the secretary you're kind of you're kind of at that desk so i spend a lot of time at the desk and any opportunity i have to go outside i'm pretty psyched so i had a great time today driving around in the little mercedes convertible bill brocktrup's portrayal of the openly gay and eccentric secretary endeared him to the show's audience he has now become one of the most popular cast members and viewers to and eagerly to follow the unusual relationship that has developed between his character and that of often cranky and homophobic sipowitz it's taken literally years years for the two of us to become kind of friends now and the end of the first season it was a huge thing for him he shook my hand and a couple seasons later when his wife died he hugged me and that was a big deal and then a couple seasons later i'm babysitting his son and that was a huge thing for him and this last season uh something that kind of blew me away i never thought we'd see happen is that john went to sip with romantic advice you know i went to him with boyfriend problems and you know of all the people in the world all the people in that squad sifowitz in a way i feel like john is a little bit of a you know an emissary from the gay community to people who don't think they know any gay people maybe they see john and maybe they go hey you know that guy's pretty nice he's good at his job and he's a friendly guy and when they see siblings being mean to me or something i think their reaction is that's not very nice so i think that maybe that can help sort of shift with some attitudes and some areas that are not easy to reach okay here we go one of the challenges that bill brockshop had to face though was how to deal with being gay in the entertainment industry the more difficult thing for me as far as nypd blue ghost was what to do once i started the show and started having to do you know interviews and talking to you know magazines and newspapers and things i wasn't sure what i wanted to do about it i mean i had all the fears that everybody talks about about oh my god my career will be ruined i'll never get another job i spent about the first two months of doing interviews sort of saying oh i don't want to talk about my personal life i don't talk about my personal life and i felt like a schmuck i went to catholic school there was sins of commission and sins of omission and that's a sin of a mission where you just sort of try not to say and i didn't feel comfortable with that so i started talking about in the press and what's been amazing is there's been no fallout as far as i can see i don't ever have to be worried about oh my god are they going to ask me that here it comes the gay question is coming it's coming dodge you know i'm much happier this way okay you know what i won't don't tell him my mom you'll be fine you just don't do and i won't say i try to say that can i help you some people in the community are concerned with john irving's sissy-ish image but bill believes the television landscape has evolved enough there's room today for a greater variety of gay characters the thing that makes me the happiest is that there are now a number of gay characters on tv so that not one guy has to be representing the gay community which is insane and obviously can't be done the men and women in the gay community are you know as diverse as every population in the world so uh to be like you are the gay character representing all gay people is absurd and i would never want to take that on here's the part where i asked if that was good you were on that bill actually we gotta go typecasting and sort of being put in a box is endemic to all actors so yeah when there's a a gay character comes up in a movie or a show or something my agent usually gets a call that's fine you know if the thing is good if it's bad it's another thing but i would never turn down a gay part that was well written as well written as this is and as well written as the other things i've done i'm hoping that as more and more writers are free to talk about gay topics and it opens the door to all kinds of new relationships and things we haven't seen before but they'll keep writing these characters in these parts and if i end up playing them all my life i'll be fine with that i've got no problem with that next month on in the life the fifth anniversary of matthew shepard's murder we are a growing community parents who've lost their children to hate crime murder a pentecostal church wants to scare the hell out of you this is steve he thought his homosexual lifestyle was everything a real man could want please steve give your life to jesus and our community's least visible minority women's bodies are subject to a lot of policing and so if you're saying you're queer woman you know you're right there you think you know this is my body and finally when gays and lesbians go mainstream what happens to everyone else in outtakes harvey fierstein worries over straight america so what happened was these words are making me nervous what ha ha happened was you're in my key light well so far that's not offensive come on papa what do you say on a perfect spring day i made a pilgrimage to the neighborhood of my youth park slope brooklyn new york it had always been a family-friendly area tree-lined avenues choked with bustling school-bound kids mommies guiding strollers daddies chasing toddlers nannies pushing swings 20 years had not changed a thing except who the hell was guiding them strollers chasing them toddlers pushing them swings it was us lesbians and gay males parenting as far as the eye could see i began to worry well not about the new breeding role of homosexuals but about usurping the usefulness of straits i mean now that we procreate with ease our heterosexuals obsolete years ago sociobiologist edward o wilson put forth his theory that homosexuals are absolutely necessary for the survival of the species he held that if homosexuality were not it surely would have been bred out millions of years ago by a natural selection so why are we here we are the teachers who can stay late after school to aid slower students where the maiden ants and bachelor uncles who provide financial cushioning in case of emergencies we are in his view the worker bees of humanity in a more recent book the soul beneath the skin david nimmins holds that we are a superior society altogether we are he asserts the social and moral leaders of humanity using the aids crisis as backdrop he sets out to illustrate that we are more nurturing altruistic non-violent and even in the face of death fun-loving gays and lesbians are more open-minded and more available for intimate relationships not only with partners but also with family and friends our volunteerism alone elevates us high above straight society w has no need to beg us to do our part there is certainly no argument against our claim as artistic and cultural leaders of humanity without us heterosexual wardrobes would break down into two major categories fig leaves and grape leaves all anyone needs to is take a look at the art architecture and home furnishing trends from the mid 80s through the late 90s you will find evidenced a vast black hole of invention when we lost a generation of gay men to the horror of aids the world missed an entire chapter of fashion music art and style oh you don't believe me get out your back issues of vogue architectural digest and rolling stone so given our place as the innovators protectors teachers and keepers of peace what role do heterosexuals play in society beyond warriors and tractor pull drivers procreators us too so if that's all they have to offer who needs them keeping straight people around just to breed is like keeping that old office clunker that prints those curly faxes i mean why bother when you can get a machine that is a printer plain paper facts scanner and answering machine all in one beautiful package heterosexuals nothing but one trick ponies i'm telling you friends heterosexuals are a thing of the past like britney spears andrew lloyd webber and ron reagan jr so again i ask you do we need them of course we do there are kids besides if there were no heterosexuals who would play us on tv i'm emmanuel xavier for all of us at in the life here at one time square in new york thank you for watching and we'll see you next month in the life is funded in part by the hvan american foundation additional support provided by the ford foundation the gill foundation the pride foundation the collingwood foundation the rainbow endowment michael a levin and the annual support of in the life members like you you