In the Life: Ep. 1107, "Comfort in Crisis"

on this edition of In The Life Partners face the aftermath of 9/11 he went back in Tower 2 to make sure everyone was out and that's when Tower 2 collapsed a high school program changes lives plus Harvey Farin gets serious about coming out settle down people all this and more on in the Life America's gay and lesbian cultural news magazine in the life is funded in part by the H van amaran Foundation additional support provided by the Gil Foundation The Pride Foundation the Ted Snowden Foundation the ota's charitable trust the hollingwood Foundation the rainbow endowment Adam a funding collaborative empowering queer youth Orlando Reese and Bill Becker William J resck and the annual support of in the Life members like you welcome to in the life I'm Katherine Linton High School is an emotionally challenging time for any teenager but for gay youth who are often ostracized and isolated both at school and at home the experience can be devastating Studies have shown an alarmingly high number of these kids are victims of verbal harassment violence and even suicide but on this edition of In The Life we'll visit a high school program in Los Angeles where gay and lesbian teens are actually finding support and other students and staff are learning lessons about tolerance we'll Spotlight an award-winning documentary about a transgender romance and the tragic consequences of intolerance Andy hum is out and about and Harvey Farin wants you to come out but first correspondent Jonathan Kart meets the domestic partners of three 11 victims not only did they continue to grieve the loss of their loved ones and struggle to make sense of life after September 11th they are now facing another battle in the aftermath of September 11th Americans reached into their wallets giving to Charities and unprecedented numbers but who decides how these funds are dispersed and how are gay and lesbian families being treated next we meet some Americans who are not only having to cope with the loss of their life Partners but also with the bird burden of having to prove that their relationships were valid said your project the morning of September 11th started just like any other ordinary day we got up at our usual time had breakfast Tony was ready to go around about 8:30 and I guess it was probably about 8 8:33 that you know I gave him a hug kissed him told him I loved him and said goodbye and he gave me a kiss and tell him he Lov me and said goodbye and um he walked out the door he was in The Concourse uh having coffee that his second cup of coffee for the morning he felt the first Tower get hit and went back upstairs to Tower two to begin the evacuation process so his security team which is six of them they got 3700 Morgan Stanley employees out of the building unharmed before the second plane hit their Tower and then he went back in Tower 2 along with the firemen to make sure everyone was out and that's when Tower 2 collapsed so um I know that he was in the building when the tower collapsed and unfortunately that all that news came to me um on that Friday September 14th which was our 26th anniversary morning of September 11th uh started as usual we had a running joke uh but I always meant it for um traffic and I said every morning don't let the bastards get you but that day they got her I had heard on the television that uh first plane had gone into the World Trade Center and then the second plane went in and uh I called her at the Pentagon because they don't always they don't always get transmissions and so we talked about it and youi yeah the world was a little little crazy said I'll see you tonight and I didn't and she didn't come home it's been very hard to cope with the trauma of losing somebody and particularly when you witness it particularly when you see the acts and you see you know you watch the area where your loved one is working be obliterated and you watch the building which you never would have imagined crumble just collaps like a pack cards there's a plaque out back that says gred along with me and I thought perhaps we would Peggy nef and Sheila Hine shared a life together for almost 18 years 7 years ago they bought a house in Hyattsville Maryland and in 1995 they prepared Wills that left all their possessions to each other Peggy had just gotten her real estate license and was set to embark on a new career I was going to quit work the end of November and take up real estate full-time and we had figured out that um you know with just a little bit of luck and the fact that also I am a massage therapist and also that I'm a hypnotherapist uh I could pick up enough part-time work until I really started to sell and she would carry the majority of the bills until then but instead of facing a future with Sheila Peggy was suddenly alone and without the safety net that would have been provided to a married couple well the Panic sets in because I had already given notice and um I realized that on my salary alone I could not maintain this house I relied on Wesley so much for for everything for the financial stability um the monitoring of my finances since that's not one of my strong points looking at the future um began to get very scary thank goodness that things have began to fall into place um I've received some assistance from the agencies that have been available immediately after attacks the country came together and contributed to help uh the victims of of the attacks large relief organizations like the Red Cross uh because there are no legal connections to our relationships we were afraid that some of these agencies would not treat gay people fairly and equally in distributing these relief funds this poor woman who met me first said who have you lost I said I've lost my partner and she immediately said what's her name I said no I lost my my partner and she said oh what was she called I said I'm a gay man and she was very embarrassed but that's just an indication she was not attuned to the fact that that gay people were suffering along with heterosexuals in this tragic event even those Charities and relief agencies that have been officially welcoming we've had to work with them to get them to train their people and make sure everyone understands what that policy is while many agencies open their doors to Gay and Lesbian families providing much needed short-term relief for things like mortgage or rent payments many kinds of long-term assistance will not be accessible to same-sex Partners marriage brings all of these rights and protections to a couple when when a person who is married died their spouse has all kinds of automatic protections to inherit the vast majority of the individuals estate um the ability to bring a lawsuit to sue anybody who might have been responsible for that death those are the two really important ones advocacy groups like The Empire State pride agenda were instrumental in getting New York Governor George Pake to issue an executive order granting the surviving partners of gay victims equal benefits from the state's Crime Victims board tell you tomorrow I'm signing an executive order changing that functioning of the Crime Victims board so that gay and lesbian couples will not undergo that type of discrimination unfortunately for Peggy nef Governor Jim Gilmore of Virginia was not as sympathetic I got a very nice letter back from them saying they were terribly sorry about the loss of my friend but according to laws of desent that they could only give to blood relatives or spouse and obviously I didn't fit their criteria therefore they were terribly sorry realizing the many inequities facing gays and lesbians affected by 9/11 the Empire State pride agenda Lambda legal defense and education fund the gay and lesbian antiviolence project and the Stonewall Community Foundation in New York with help from the Human Rights Campaign in Washington DC pulled their resources and created the September 11th gay and lesbian family fund we started receiving calls here at the antiviolence project um people at Lambda also started receiving calls and um people at the Human Rights Campaign as well as the Empire State pride agenda were all receiving calls from people who wanted to do something specifically for lesbian gay victims so money unsolicited started coming and before we knew it there was about $190,000 that had been raised the gay and lesbian family fund dispersed its monies equally between All Families whose applications were approved Peggy nef John winter and William Randolph each received an initial check for $4,000 the gifts that we can give can in no way make up for what they won't be getting from workers compensation or from Pension funds that spouses will automatically be entitled to um which is you know can be upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars so um it really is a symbolic gesture on the part of the community to say to these people that we feel for you we care about you and we recognized that this was a committed relationship and a family Tony didn't have a will um and um all of his life insurance and his workers compensation all went into his estate which his sister was the executive of so I got nothing in that area at all and why they tried to be as helpful as they could but there's a certain limit to what they can do Wesley had a birthday August 31st he turned 70 and was getting ready to retire the end of 2001 so he found that as part of the sort of retirement process you know now that I'm not working I can sort of focus on this will thing so we had talked about it but less than two weeks later Wesley was gone without Wills both William and John are considered legal strangers to their late partners and will most likely be ineligible for the federal government September 11th victims compensation fund we're pretty sure that gay families that um had Wills where both Partners had wills and name the other as the executive and beneficiary um and a biological family member is not contesting we're pretty sure those people will be um okay and be able to uh apply and receive funding we're much more concerned about uh those families that did not have Wills obviously many many young people died and and just you know when you're 20 30 40 years old you just don't think of Wills because we had Wills what I will be doing is filing as personal representative for her estate when I file for the federal compensation fund and consequently yes I will keep the house I will keep the house also because Sheila's mother thank God likes me she considered us a real couple and has offered all of the help that she can give also if I need it the federal funds you know the average check they're predicting will be $1.6 million that would go to a spouse automatically for us it's up in the air we have to plead our case we don't know who that money will go to these stories provide powerful examples of the need for gay and lesbian couples to legally protect themselves like Peggy William has been able to remain in the home that he shared with his partner but because John lacked the legally recognized relationship to Tony he's been forced to move out thanks to the transgender community's tireless fight for recognition and human rights our understanding of gender identity has changed forever our next segment is about Kate Davis's groundbreaking documentary Southern Comfort named for the transgender Conference held every year in Atlanta Southern Comfort focuses on the life of Robert eids a female to male transexual and his love affair with Lola Cola a male to female transsexual in a bitter ironic twist Robert is suffering from ovarian cancer when the two meet director Kate Davis captures the final months of their tender relationship ship I first met Robert eids at a female to male convention and here came this Cowboy kind of guy with a pipe and a hat and boots and had incredible stories to tell um he had a lot to say about his medical situation he was philosophical about it I have terminal cancer I have cancer of the cervix and the ovaries of the uterus it's kind of a cruel joke that last only part of me that was really female is killing me in Southern Comfort Robert's really open with the camera and the audience feels pulled in to a very intimate situation with him actually it was hard for him to make this film and I often asked him about where is anger l i mean here were these doctors that turned him down for treatment and all that and he just wasn't he just saw things a little bit more broadly and understood that the world had a far ways to go in terms of us in general understanding that it's okay to be different at the beginning I perceived it as a story of prejudice however when Lola became a part of it and I saw there was a spark between them I latched onto that as really being in a sense the the primary upfront story he could be his legs would be all given out on him and you you know he's using the Walker and he'll insist on on taking the trouble to open my door for me it's cute in addition to Lola we meet Robert's close community of transgender friends who were also willing to risk coming out on camera I hoped above all that Southern Comfort could create a picture of this transgender Community as just being a group of people who are much more like all of us outside the community I thought the the minute gets too political then it becomes a die tribe we're telling what the audience what to think and a lot of people might not want that to begin with and would turn the channel Kate's instincts about the film were right Southern Comfort won the grand jury prize for best documentary at the Sundance Film Festival in 2001 and has gone on to win numerous other Awards around the world the film debuts on HBO in April 2002 the hardest part was becoming so close to my subjects and breaking all those rules and um in terms of keeping a distance as a filmmaker and so As I Grew so close to Robert it became incredibly hard to separate uh my roles producer friend producer friend and sometimes I just put down the camera you know and give him a back rub and the friendship really came first at the end um it was really my discretion to turn off the camera of something was sort of too hard to watch as Robert zus progressed it was his dream dream to live long enough to attend One More Southern Comfort conference with Lola at his side now it's our turn it's our turn to stand up and say hey I have the same dignities I have the same indignities that you have I deserve to be treated like anybody else the main reasons that he chose to participate in this and divulge his life on camera had to do with wanting to change people's minds and open their hearts and and reach a general public and defy stereotypes that many people have about what a transgender person is and the main thing yeah she tells me don't don't don't hold on for me and yet I can't help but hold on for her I remember Robert saying that if this film could just help save one person's life or open one straight person's mind then it'll be worth it growing up as an African-American man and I've had to face many different challenges many different forms of adversity and discrimination playing character of Keith Charles on 6 Feet Under HBO's new show I play gay cop and choosing this role has open my eyes to a whole another form of discrimination that plagues our society I really believe that it's fear-based I challenge all of us to not allow fear to keep us in a very stagnated and isolated place but to challenge us to open ourselves up and not point fingers at things we don't understand we're all here trying to contribute to society in a very positive way and I would ask that you try to accept people for who they are and what they are even if you don't understand it I'm Matthew St Patrick and you're watching in a life a new comedy about sex and the single woman protests against the practices of a Rhode Island new newspaper a lesbian writer whose art crosses over and the Los Angeles gay and lesbian center turns 30 will brief you on these stories and more on out and about a somber note to start in a controversial sting operation several men were arrested in Johnston Rhode Island this January in a raid on an adult movie theater the Providence Journal subsequently published the names addresses and photos of those arrested driving one of them to Suicide days later in the aftermath local activists staged a protest outside the paper's offices to highlight the sensationalistic nature of the coverage glad and LGBT leaders later met with the journal to discuss the discriminatory nature of their reporting the new home of the Academy Awards the Hollywood and Highland Ballroom was the Glamorous venue for a recent dinner celebrating the 30th anniversary of the Los Angeles gay and lesbian center when I was around at the beginning I was here when you know the gay community was the hot tub at Allen cars house Oscar winning producer Bruce Cohen was one of the evening's special honores I've always found it to be a wonderful thing to be an outg man working in Hollywood for me in my producing life with American Beauty getting such wonderful attention around the world it's really helped me to do more work for the community all told almost 1,400 actors and activists were out in forc to raise the profile of the world's oldest and largest LGBT Resource Center California governor Gray Davis was on hand for a Statewide progress report thank you the gay and lesbian center of Los Angeles after the initial success of Tipping the Velvet and the followup ofinity london-based author Sarah Waters swept into the states on a book tour promoting her latest novel finger Smith I got interested in 19th century fiction I guess as a teenager but then got particularly interested in looking at it from a gay perspective set in a time when a gay subculture in the modern sense first made made an appearance wat's Victorian fiction is rif with an atmosphere of longing where are your lips I said my lips she aned in a tone of surprise they're here I found them and kissed her lots of fascinating lesbian stories to be told and you know while that's the case I hope I'll try and tell them really kissed a girl kissing Jessica Stein is a new independent feature that questions the very idea of a sing Le sexuality we enter into areas of sexual identity and what sex is what friendship is what romance is that it suddenly everything starts to overlap in the film two straightish women meet through happy coincidence and decide to embark on a friendship and before you know it by Curiosity has got the better of them both I'm going to have to go slow okay oh okay starring its co-writers Heather jurgenson and Jennifer westfeld kissing Jessica Stein is a comedy where love saves the day we really wanted it to be a particular story about two specific people and and not about you know a a straight or gay agenda or a political you know um grandstand with his best-selling debut a density of Souls and now the snow Garden 23-year-old Christopher Rice son of an is carving out his own post-gay pansexual literary world no character ever comes out out in a density of souls um or the snow Garden for that matter they are just simply gay they are who they are the essential story and mystery of both books is larger than who's gay and who's not growing up gay in New Orleans came with its own set of challenges growing up in New Orleans can be a curse because it is so decadent a city and so Lawless a city both of these books I was working through some serious issues that I had you know regarding my own sexual identity and uh questions of what does life have in store for me now that I'm a sort of an adult in Missoula Montana some 700 citizens came out to support Carla Grayson and Adrien nef whose home was destroyed in an arson attack in February being burnt out of our home is the worst thing that's ever happened to me their house was set a blaze days after the couple joined the ACLU in a lawsuit aimed at extending equal benefits to same-sex Partners the couple and their young son barely escaped with their lives local police are treating the incident as an attempted homicide at the same time Montana law excludes gays and lesbians from hate crimes protection well it should have been changed many years ago hopefully things like this will convince legislators that this is a hate crime and it ought to be included in the list and finally New York's legendary Waldorf atoria Hotel was the venue for this year's Human Rights Campaign benefit dinner honoring writer director Moyes calman and the award-winning Eric McCormack and longtime all-around activist designer Kenneth Cole I've been advocating for AIDS awareness for 17 years now and I'm receiving an honor tonight which I'm very proud of groups like glad and the HRC uh came to me and said thank you for what you do and I said well if you feel that way about it then what else can I do we'll know we're a success when everyone in this country has equal human rights and that's basically the the point of HRC members of New York City's police and fire department's gay and lesbian groups were also honored for their Valor on September 11th thank you over 700 gagers from across the country turned out to celebrate the city and to support hrc's ongoing efforts in promoting equality hello I'm Carol Carol Channing yeah and you're watching in the life still to come on in the Life learning lessons of Tolerance in Los Angeles schools the laramy project finds new life and Harvey firestein comes out shopping in March the film version of the laramy project premiered on HBO with an All-Star cast including Christina RI Peter Fonda Steve Bushi and Laura Linny in the Life covered the original Stage production in June 2000 writer director Moises Kaufman and members of his Tech onc theater company had traveled to laramy Wyoming to learn more about the place where Matthew Shepard lived and died on November 14th 1998 the members of tectonic theater project traveled to laramy Wyoming and conducted interviews with the people of the town during the next year we would return to laramy several more times and conduct over 200 interviews the play you're about to see is edited from those interviews as well as from Journal entri by members of the company and other found material it seemed that Matthew Shephard's beating was a turning point in American history where all of a sudden the country said no more this is wrong so we went to laramy a month after Matthew Shephard uh was beaten and at that time we weren't really thinking about a play coming out of it that wasn't really what we were thinking about Moy has never said we're going to go and we're going to write a play about this he basically said can we as theater artist artists respond to this do we have a role to play people are really with her when she says Choo Cho and she's telling these funny stories I'm a writer and I'm a director um the actors are actors but we all wrote the play together we were able to sort of break down the roles we became interviewers we became sort of journalists we became researchers I think the idea of a theater company going out to a town talking to the people of the Town coming back and writing a play about it was something that interested me very much hi my name is Amanda gronic and I'm here in laramy working with a theater company uh we're from New York and uh we were interested in speaking with people here about recent events um my colleague and myself went to the Reverend your husband's Church uh on Sunday and and saw the services and well we were so impressed with his sermon and we were extremely interested in talking with the Reverend further about some of uh his ideas about what's happened well uh I don't think he'll want to talk to you uh he has very biblical views about homosexuality what is it that we can do what is it that the people that are going to come to the larm me project get that you wouldn't get from a film or a documentary or or a TV show most of the time we called him cho cho you know cuz we used to call him matchu and then we just started calling him cho cho whenever I think of Matthew I always think of his his incredible beaming smile I mean he'd walk in and he'd just be like you know and he'd just smile at everybody he'd just made you feel great going to laramy for us as a company was a very very uh scary proposition when we drove into laramy it was about a dusk and there was like dead silence in the car all the joking and the laughter was was gone we pulled into this parking lot we had to sit there for a moment and kind of deal with the fact that we did feel really frightened one of the events that really brought home to me what the company was experiencing was we were walking down the street and there was an out member of the company and at some moment I put my arm around him I just was immediately viscerally like get your arm off of me you know I mean uh you know a a a gay guy had just been killed in this town like the month before this happened I think as gay people you're always like checking your peripheral vision to see is it safe and there were people in my peripheral vision who I didn't feel very safe around so I sort of felt that people weren't going to want to talk to us I sort of felt like we were going to have a very difficult time getting ordinary people to talk to us and that wasn't the case at all I mean people really opened up to us in ways that amazed me there was a very warm reception and I was not anticipating that at all Matthew Shephard has served us well do you realize that he has served us well and I do not mean to condemn Matthew to Perfection but I cannot mention anyone who has done more for this community than Matthew shepher there were some really remarkable people that we spoke to and you know I had uh preconceptions about this little town in the west and and how much more sophisticated and Humane and wonderful I was than these people and uh that that wasn't what I found at all and for the first time people that would not otherwise be talking about gay rights or about education or what are we teaching our children or why is there this violence in this culture we're forced to talk about it well the news reports started trickling in on Thursday but no names were mentioned the brutality of the crime was not mentioned all that was mentioned was that there was a man a laramy man found beaten out on the Prairie basically later on in my office they mentioned his name it was like oh my God that can't that's not the Matthew Shepherd I know that's not my sto that's not this person who I once the many hours of interview material had been edited down to a working script the ly project had its World premiere at the Denver Center theater the production garnered enthusiastic response from audiences and critics alike I think what is uh memorable about the uh laramy project is that it shows the amazing diversity of responses to Matthew Shepard's death you get to meet real people talking about how it affected them I think that's what audiences will respond to after seeing protesting Matthew's Funeral and finding out that he was coming to lar me for the trial of Russell Henderson well I decided someone needs to stand Toe to Toe with this guy and show the differ so our idea is to dress up like angels and we have designed an angel outfit for our wings are huge they're like big ass wings and there'll be 10 to 20 of us that are angels and what we're going to do is we're going to encircle F and because of our big wings we are going to completely block him to bring this story to the stage in such an immediate way you know the the people who are performing are the people who met the people of laramy it's one degree of separation so as an actor who's coming out on stage and she's simply saying I went there and I met this person and this is who they are and this is what they said I think we're personalizing the story for people and I think it's hitting them in a positive way I think people are responding very hopefully to it and uh I think it's just touching people Matthew Shepard is a 21st century you know martyr and this is a very personal and emotional uh response to his death when you see the larmy project you get a sense of where we are at as a nation how we are thinking how we are feeling about and not only sexuality but class and educations and violence and a whole number of different things because we leave under this promise that we are all equal under the law and I think we are really testing the validity of that statement Moes Kaufman adapted and directed the film version of his play for HBO's production of the lar project it was huge the play was a much more intimate event when you see the movies it's about a theater company that goes to laramy and talks to the people of the town and begins to uncover or discover the reactions that they had to the event in the film Christina RI plays Matthew's best friend who conceives of a plan to block an anti-gay protest after Matthew's death so we're planning an event we're calling it Angel action this 21-year-old little lesbian is going to walk the line with him it brought back a lot of things we had a lot of people crying on set it was very difficult that was that was one of the hardest days a lot of the people that were watching the actor portray Fred Phelps were the people who were there the day that Phelps was there the star studded cast playing laramy residents include Steve Bushi as a taxi driver who befriends Matthew none of that my name is Matt and I want you to know that I am gay and we're going to be going to a gay bar do you have a problem with that I said no how you paying we took the play and we performed the play in ly and when that happened we were able to play to like 10% of the population well now with the movie A by it being on HBO and B by the fact that the mayor of the town has made it a point to take it to different parts of the state I mean we're going to be able to reach a large part of that state with the movie in 1984 Dr Virginia yubi a teacher at Los Angeles's Fairfax High School witnessed an incident of harassment against a gay student which Disturbed her so deeply that she decided to take action that year she founded project 10 and has been saving lives and changing attitudes ever since the vision of project 10 is that gay lesbian bisexual transgender students will be able to go to school in a safe and respectful environment it seems like a not much to ask it's what we ask of education for all of our young people but that's very difficult to achieve for our gay and lesbian young people I think that what fuels me is anger or a sense of Injustice I just cannot stand uh the things I see happening to these young people for no other reason other than their sexual orientation it's not like they have committed a crime when I first started the program back in 1984 even I was a little hesitant to call it the gay and lesbian program I mean I had to work through my own homophobia about that uh somebody suggested that I call the program project 10 after Kinsey's very often repeated uh statistics that 10% of the population was more or less homosexual most of their lives so I just adopted the name project 10 we started out with maybe six students and you know inside of two or three months we had 30 students that were meeting once a week the minute other people in other high schools started hearing that we were doing something uh for gay lesbian youth we started getting phone calls and so there was just sort of like a an automatic development of this program to other high schools in 1988 4 years after project 10 was founded the Traditional Values Coalition launched an attack against the program attempting to withhold All State funding for the Los Angeles Unified School District if the district didn't agree to immediately put a stop to project 10 here we're trying to work to keep these kids in school and to keep them from killing themselves and suddenly people are attacking us for that and saying these perfectly Dreadful things like we were trying to recruit young people into a life of homosexuality and we're trying to give them all AIDS and they just the attacks didn't make any sense to me I was very naive about this I didn't really know what to do and so I just kept repeating what I thought I was trying to do which was to keep kids in school and to keep them from killing themselves and to serve a need that had not been met and they just kept saying how terrible I was the conflict resulted in a daylong hearing in Sacramento with over 80 speakers from both sides testifying in the end the school district reaffirmed its support of project 10 and the Traditional Values Coalition Was Defeated ironically the publicity generated by their campaign to defeat project 10 actually resulted in huge rewards for the program we got uh tremendous letters of support letters that were very many of them very compelling in the stories that people revealed about themselves and the other thing that happened was that people started sending us money so much money in fact that Dr IBI formed a nonprofit organization called the friends of project 10 to support and supplement the work of the program as time has evolved we see that there really isn't a whole lot of money that the district is going to cough up to give to this program and through the donations we're able to provide uh you know do programs and projects that the district won't pay for in 1998 Dr yibi retired from the program in order to run the friends of project 10 full-time her replacement was her long-term partner and project 10 board member Gail Ral who had already been deeply involved in the program for 10 years I could see that through my own teaching experience the gay kids were dropping out of school the gay kids were running away the gay kids were attempting suicide uh even when I started up my support groups the average student had already attempted suicide three times by the time they got into high school and these are kids that either identified as G lesbian or they were struggling with their sexuality I knew this was a serious problem my typical day goes like this I get to work and the phone starts ringing and the adrenaline starts going and all I can tell you is that I operate totally on adrenaline I just work straight through non-stop the phone doesn't stop emails don't stop the problems don't stop it just goes on and on and on as project TS only pay staff person Gail is responsible for the training of all project 10 coordinators in each school and is the district's troubleshooter when problems arise involving LGBT and questioning students as simple and silly as this may sound one would think that if a teacher hears somebody call another person they would know how to respond to that but so often those comments go ignored when the teachers allow for that verbal harassment it creates a very trustful relationship those students don't trust the teacher and ultimately the environment in the classroom becomes so uncomfortable and so unsafe that often times kids just stop coming to that class and ultimately if it's a pervasive thing that goes on throughout the school they just simply stopped coming to school some of the strongest testimonials in support of the program come from Project 10 students themselves we spoke with Jesse Angie and Josh about the first time they went to a project 10 support group meeting in their respective high schools I thought what am I going to see in this room you know a group of freaks or what and it was completely the opposite it was young people that were gay lesbian bisexual and I couldn't believe it because that was the first time I had ever met young people that identified with being either gay lesbian or bisexual and it was amazing to me but it made me feel good a good friend of mine said hello my name is John and I gay and I was so taken back by this because I had never been able to say my name and immediately after say I was gay it was just unheard of it was so uncomfortable me to say hi I'm Josh and I'm gay and for me to see that was the immediate change in realizing how comfortable I could now be with being gay it was great it was empowering just to see them be themselves and be out and feel good about it because I was feeling miserable at that time we had meetings every week and it was it was emotional every time and we laughed we laughed so much and um we cried together we we had so much fun that we Laughed Until We Cried I don't think anybody enjoys you know having gum in their hair during lunchtime or having Rock St at you after you're walking you know home or to school going to my counselor and saying I'm getting harassed in school I'm getting rock at me I'm getting all these different things and her saying you brought it upon yourself completely cut the trust that I ever had in a teacher or in a c counselor or administrator and worst of all I couldn't tell my parents all the Discrimination I was experiencing at school so that made things even more difficult we gave each other advice on everything you know relationships family dealing with parents and you know helping each other out just through everything project 10 is a finally a group where a student could go and and and ask questions and receive answers and information that will link them up to other students and essentially knowledge his power the friends of project 10 continue to sponsor a number of larger events open to students from across the state at the models of Pride conference each year 500 young people come together to attend workshops and to meet others like themselves and the lesbian and gay prom seen here in the 1993 documentary Live to Tell brings 350 LGBT youth together to celebrate in a safe and affirming environment from the perspective of the kid kids there's just such energy such excitement it's such a sense for them that they have a safe place to really Express who they are the boys come with the boyfriends the girls come with the girlfriends and many of the young people even come by themselves they feel that safe and that comfortable knowing they will be with their own kind and be accepted and not be harassed it's just a wonderful freedom of expression and a sense that they can be in a safe place and have a darn good time one of the program's leading Advocates is the president of the Los Angeles Board of Education Caprice young if you don't feel safe at school you're not going to learn at school because you're not going to be thinking about what you're studying you're going to be thinking about whether or not you're safe and project 10 gives kids a place to confront the questions that they have themselves about their sexuality and their personal identity in an environment that's safe and supportive and allows them to be whoever they are I've had many friends that um that that started going to project 10 depressed suicidal and I mean now their their grades are all up and you find people there that you can have things in common with and it's hard to find it if you're out on your own so the project 10 has given me a connection a group of students that I can and share for the rest of my life and become friends and colleagues with and it has also linked me with other institutions such as teen line I think project 10 was the parent the teacher the mentor and also the person that you can trust in that's what project 10 meant to me that's what project 10 was to a lot of us and if it wasn't for that I think a lot of us would have ended up dead a lot of us would have killed ourselves because of their sexual orientation so many of them have such an enormous struggle and I don't see the educational system doing very much for them and so I guess that anger at that at that Injustice just keeps me going cuz I really feel as long as I have a breath in me I'm going to be fighting this fight during the decade that in the life has been on public television the movement for Gay and Lesbian equality has made enormous progress on several fronts according to the gay lesbian and straight educational Network our gesen the country's first gay straight student Alliance was formed in 1989 that's just three years before in the life began airing and today there are estimated to be over 1,000 such groups Nationwide I'm Jim j Bullock and you're watching in the live be sure to tune in to next month's episode of in the life and don't forget to mark your calendars for in the life's 10th anniversary episode in June this special presentation will include a rare interview with Broadway Legend Jerry Herman you're still glowing you're still C you're still going I don't think Jerry has ever U been given the credit that he that he should have over these many years because he's an extraordinarily good Lyricist and he's also a great Melody spinner I mean there's no question about it finally in tonight's outtake Harvey Farin tries and tries and tries to come out at the grocery store true story this little piggy went to Market to lay in supplies for the holidays I live in a small fictional town in Connecticut whose whose quaint country purveyors I decided to forego for the larger better stocked and much Cruiser super stoping shop of a neighboring mini Metropolis while ringing out my order the cashier said casually so you do the shopping and your wife does the cooking no Dee I replied reading her name off the plastic tag dangling dangerously close to her third chin I don't have a wife I'm gay you are not she said dismissively oh yes I am I counted you are not no gay she insisted pushing my baby carrots from the scale honey says I hands now a flutter I am as gay as a pink hairnet I guessed my voice was raised a little too loudly when I spied the adjoining cashier ring her silent security alarm Dei stopped work and looked me straight in the eye I know you and you are not one of those gay and with a big incredulous smile I asked what makes you so sure that I am not because if you were a gay she counted assuredly you would be too ashamed to say it out loud I was dumbstruck by now two of the cashiers a security guard and another employee with whom I was acquainted and who by the way happens to also be gay surrounded us he asked if there was a problem still shocked into s Ence I waved him off paid my bill and left if you were a gay you would be too ashamed to say it out loud how could anyone still think that way have we made no progress aren't we everywhere now willing grace before nightfalls Ellen or are we just fictional characters living out our own fictionally liberated lives but then I thought how is the average American heterosexual to think anything else when the only examples they have of Our Lives is shame our big breakthrough mainstream comedy TV show has one gay character played by a proudly heterosexual actor and the other played by an actor who claims his sexual preference as no one's business what message is being sent out there congratulations on your Emmy cookie but I wouldn't hold my breath for the cover of portraits in Pride are two latest breakthrough TV shows Queer as Folk and six feet under both ended their Seasons with gay bashings illustrating yet again that we are still victims and not Masters Of Our Lives obviously Hollywood finds US acceptable only when we are funny dying or portrayed by a 100% golded heterosexual who is stretching his artistic muscles attempting such a strange and challenging character but really didn't enjoy kissing another guy in front of the whole crew so let's go Crush beer cans in other news the tomboys no not Rosie and Martina Tom celik and Tom Cruz both won huge lawsuits against newspapers that had identified them as gay what kind of a message do you think is broadcast by a celebrity suing for being called gay or by a court awarding millions of dollars to those celebrities validating that the association with homosexuality has indeed harmed their careers could you imagine a court awarding me Millions because Saturday night lives said I was heterosexual looking at this from another angle open any magazine or newspaper to the personals how many ads read straight acting seek same or not into gay lifestyle you too can stop waiting for your portraits in Pride cover story well my children if this is how we feel about ourselves if we stay in the closet because we don't want to hurt our families if we hide our identities for fear the truth would damage our careers if we passively accept heterosexualized images of our lives in TV and movies if we support those films and shows even though they portray us only as jokes or victims if we are so self-loathing that we seek sexual partners who could not possibly be sexual partners then how can can we be shocked when a cashier says if you were a gay you would be too ashamed to say it out loud Carry On from all but in the life thank you for watching and we'll see you next month in the life is funded in part by the H vanan Amar Foundation additional support provided by the Gil Foundation The Pride Foundation the Ted Snowden Foundation the OT has charitable trust the Collingwood Foundation the rainbow endowment Adam a funding collaborative empowering queer youth orando Reese and Bill Becker William J resck and the annual support of in the Life members like you