Rich Little (with Les Lye) "My Fellow Canadians" 60s Canadian comedy LP

Dwight D. Eisenhower established the press conference as a unique American tradition. JFK has refined the technique. In Canada, this method of meeting the press, radio, and TV crowd has been carried out in an atmosphere of almost complete privacy. That is up until now. How are you? Nice to see you and my fellow Canadians. There are no words that will express my appreciation. >> Let's get to it. Curly, I have a question. >> Squeegee a family tribune journal. Charlie Fininkley here. What's the government doing for the prairie farmers? We we haven't forgotten the prairie farmers. I I know their problems. Uh for one thing, uh their ground is wearing out. First thing you know, it'll be nothing but dirt. As long as I am in power and not one acre of farmland will be left bare, and nor the Duke of Boris. That is my answer. >> George McNut over here. >> Where where are you from? Mcnut. >> It's McNut. Room 12. >> Where's that? >> Down here. Right beside room 13. >> All right. All right. All right. All right. Carry on. >> What are we supposed to do about the radioactive strum fog? >> Have you tried resan? >> Uh, I have a question. Would you stand and be recognized? >> I am standing. What is Canada DOING ABOUT POTHOLES ON THE CANADIAN STREETS? I I was just uh I was just talking to the National Research Council about this last year and they came up with a method where they divide the potholes into two groups. Now, one half used gravel and fluoride and the other half used half pot ash and sand. >> And what were the results? have fewer cavities with pash and sand. >> What about unemployment? >> What? What? What's that? >> What about unemployment? >> Unemployment. Don't Don't listen to that. I unemployment is nothing but a silly rumor started by a bunch of people who are out of work. That's all it is. Don't pay any attention. Hey, you you've got a question, sir. >> What about Canada's foreign policies? >> Well, I I can only say what I have said in the past. As far as our foreign policies are concerned, we should cancel them and buy all our insurance at home. [laughter] >> Any any other questions? Huh? >> What about the Quebec separatist program? >> I like Quebec separatist program. I I don't believe I've ever seen it. What What time does it come on? >> 4:30. >> Huh? Huh? >> 4:30. >> 4:30? No. No. I I I'm usually watching PM party on the other channel there. Hi, >> sir. On behalf of the fourth estate, we thank you, sir. Thank you very much. >> I I have a question I'd like to ask you. >> Yes. >> Whatever happened to Baby Jane? [applause] >> [applause] >> My my fellow Canadians in Montreal, it is with deep appreciation that I pay tribute to one of your great leaders, a man who led you through troubled times with a fighting spirit, with a stout heart and without fear of the consequences. Hey, no no no no no no. Save it for the election. A spirit of dedication and Canadianism which is such a part of this great country. I learned from this man something of great importance that has helped me through the darkest hours and assisted me every day. At long last, I've stopped using that greasy kid stuff. Thank you, Maurice Richard. [applause] [applause] >> 2,726,466 2,726,467 2,700 Hi. Hi. I beg your pardon. Oh. Oh, it's you. What are you doing? Oh, for goodness sake. I was doing a recount of the votes in the last general election. Now, where was I? Oh, blasted. One, two, three, FOUR. [applause] >> International Grocerers Union presents IGU, the quiz show with a heart. Our first telephone contestant is on the line. Hello there. Hi, >> John Fischer's resident Steve the Chief speaking. >> This is IGU calling, sir. IGU. Is this Is this the leader? >> The leader? No, no, no. It's not a political party, sir. It's a chain of food stores. >> Food stores. >> This is radio's number one quiz show. I give up. And uh [laughter] our bonus brand today is Fork York Pickles. Do you have a tin? >> Ah, Fork Pickles. >> Yes. >> Well, not on me, but I'll I'll check my other suit. >> Would you please, friends, when you visit your local I am back. >> Very long. >> I found the jar of pickles. >> Good. >> They they were in my other suit. >> Would you describe it to us, please? >> Well, it's a brown tweed suit. It's got old packels. It's no >> sort of a moth eaten that belonged to Sir John A. Mcdang in the cluster. >> The jar of pick. Forget it. I'm sure you have it, sir. Our questions are worth $5, 10, 25,50, and $200. You name it. What the heck? I might as well shoot the works. I'll go for the fire. >> All right. By the way, sir, at which IGU store do you shop? >> I I don't shop at any of them. >> I buy all my food at the Parliamentary Touch Shop. >> Yeah, there's a special on there this week on Bologona. >> Bologn? >> No, it's true. Six for a quarter. >> I didn't mean Here's the $5 question. It's >> It's seven. >> Who is Canada's external affairs minister? Would you repeat the question? >> For $5, who is Canada's external affairs minister? >> That That is a real tough question. You sure that isn't one of the $100 questions? >> No. In fact, we usually give a hint with easier questions. His last name is a color. >> Color? >> Yes. HURRY, SIR. >> OLIVE? >> NO, IT'S NOT OLIVE. >> NO, I just I was just calling my my wife. >> Oh, well, look, time's running out, sir. We could give you another hint. His first name is Howard. >> Howard? >> We're running out of time, sir. >> I know. Howard turquoise. >> No, I'm sorry. >> No, you only get one guest. I'm sorry. No, it's Howard Green. >> Howard Green? I knew it all along. >> Well, don't feel badly, sir. >> We have a wonderful consolation prize for you. A double pass to the Rialto Theater where you can see three big features and six cartoons. And now showing is Juliet, the swamp woman. I was a a white zombie and the monster werewolf meet Charlotte. >> I wonder if you could do me a favor, my fellow Canadian. >> You what's that sir? >> I wonder if you could make that three guest passes. >> Where? >> See, there's myself and there's my wife and our dog Happy. >> Oh, no. I'm sorry. I don't think the management would allow that, sir. >> Oh, well then just two then. Just for happy myself. Bye to keep those entries coming in. Bye-bye. >> I'll do that. Good night and happy motoring. [applause] Hello hockey fans in Canada, the United States, and our armed forces overseas, and all the ships at sea. Well, the game is over and the Leafs have done it again. Now, here's Mley Eastgate with tonight's stars. Thanks, Fister. Well, tonight's stars are Jupiter, Venus, Pluto, Saturn, Mars. [applause] Well, Sherman Forlo speaking to you from midfield. Another Grey Cup Classic is about to start. Miss Betty Crockett and her all-star Brownie troop have just marched to the sidelines now. Yes, the official party is approaching. The prime minister is flanked by lovely Miss Grey Cup and the mayor of Toronto along with other dignitaries. >> Oh, nice to see you. >> There you No, no, no. I I don't want to tie up my shoe. No, no, no. It very seldom ever falls off. >> No, no. What? >> The prime minister is now waving to the crowd. Nice to see you. >> The crowd is waving back. >> Now, now he addresses the ball. >> He's addressing the ball. >> How are you, ball? Nice to see you. >> Um, >> very nice to see you here, >> I believe. Yes, we're all set to go. Here is the official Grey Cup kickoff. Don't be too pleased with yourself. Next year you will be holding the ball. [applause] [applause] >> It has got to be O Canada or Maple Leaf forever. This contest is absurd. I gentlemen I gentlemen please >> and let us remember that this is a cabinet meeting. >> We are are merely acting on the suggestion of the royal commission investigation. So let us consider every entry age each possibility and its own individual merit. >> This is a kind of a catchy tune here but the lyrics are all wrong. >> What is it? >> I believe it's an American Civil War folk song. >> [clears throat] >> He was a Confederate soldier. For heaven's sake, he wore a Union suit. >> Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Any others? Any others? >> Maybe if and we find a catchy melody, uh, Irving Leighton, Eli Yost, or maybe Roy Ward Dixon, some some Canadian poet, could write a set the lyrics. >> That That is a very good suggestion. I I I've always been partial to a song we sang when I was a boy. It's called Maid of Athens. Let me see. Uh, how did it go? A little towel candle sitting on the shelf. Little towel candle sitting by itself. >> Hold on just a moment. >> Just a darn minute. >> That ain't made of Athens. >> Oh, I forgot. That's made of Greece, isn't it? [applause] and his absence sir lay blame upon his promise please your highness to grace us with your royal company. We are backstage at the parliamentary reperatory theater. >> Where? >> Current Shakespearean production is in progress. >> Which of you have done this? >> You can probably hear the actors in the background. >> Thou can't not say I did it. Never shake thy glory locks at me. >> Act three, scene four is rapidly nearing conclusion. >> If not well, sitworthy, FRIENDS, H MY LORD IS often thus and has been since as you. We hope to speak to one or two members of the cast. >> Oh. Oh, wait. Wait. >> Here's the star of the production. >> Oh, that >> sir. >> That that was just terrible. There I was out there. I couldn't find my toga. One of my scripts was missing. My beard fell off and one of my sandals broke. >> Excuse me, sir. I'm with CBC. I've uh I've heard this is your first appearance on stage. >> Well, professionally. You have never been on a stage before. >> No, I I don't think Wait a minute now. There was a line that ran from Moose to Saskatchewan there. I might have been, >> sir. I I didn't mean that. What I meant was >> Well, you did it again. You came in too soon and ruined my speech. I'm very upset. I'm going to SPEAK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT THIS. THIS IS absolutely >> Good heavens. Sir, uh, who was that? >> Ah, that was just one of the spear carriers. I don't pay any attention to him. He's always getting worked up. Gets worked up over nothing. See, the truth of the matter is he wants my part. [applause] So, it's it's been very pleasant chatting with you and congratulations on a fine performance. You make a very impressive Julius Caesar. >> Julius Caesar? I thought I was playing McBth. [applause] One of Canada's greatest radio and television storytellers, our country's top booster, changed careers a few years ago. His new job took him to Ottawa, where he is now working behind the scenes. Have you washed your face and hands? Have you a clean pair of jammies on? Good boy. Here, let me tuck you in. We'll pick up where we left off yesterday. You'll remember Daddy Bear was talking to Mama Bear on the shores of Big Bear Lake. They were worried about the big bad Russian bear. Big Bear Lake is one of the biggest bodies of water west of Fort McDonald. In this vast dominion of ours, I've seen lakes in British Columbia and northern Alberta. I've seen the mighty St. Lawrence, the roaring Fraser, and the stagnant burrito with its many weeds and tulips. I've traveled from the little fishing villages of Nova Scotia to the frozen tundra of the Yukon. I could go on talking about the fantastic natural resources of Canada, but I fear it's getting late and past your sleepy time. Nighty night, pleasant dreams. I'll leave the light on in the hall. Bye-bye now. >> Good night, John. >> Gee, you sure can tell him. [applause] [applause] >> I I can't understand it. I I'm very upset. >> Now, calm down, John. The fight hasn't started yet. >> I know, but we'll miss the preliminary >> scouting front. Come on. >> You You You just be quiet. I I wasn't talking to you. >> Do you have the tickets? >> Yes, I I've got the tickets. We're in section W. Ah, here it is. >> Not program. >> Excuse us. Pardon me. >> Pardon me. Pardon me. Oh, Dr. Somebody is sitting in my seat. >> Are you sure you've got the right section? Ah, section W, row eight, seats three and six. >> I'm just going to have to tell him to move. >> You know, I hate disturbances, all of I I don't want to do this. >> Sir, you're sitting in my husband's seat. >> No, no, you must have the wrong section. Let me see your stubs. Oh, you're supposed to be in section M. Ah, Bing willers. I could have sworn it was section W. I must have been reading it upside down. >> I found an empty seat. >> Ah, I'll just sit here on your knee. >> Oh, no you won't. You'll go FIND A SEAT OF YOUR OWN and snap to it. The fight is about to begin. uh uh SHIKI COUNCIL WILL NOW COME TO ORDER. UH FIRST OF ALL, we'd like TO DISCUSS [applause] SIR, you are aware that a record has been released wherein your voice is impersonated. >> Oh yes, yes, I I heard something about this. Does this create enjoyment or annoyment? >> No, no, no, no. Enjoyment. I apparently they laughed a lot, the two fellas that did it. >> Sir, did you hear the Von Meter first family recording? >> Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. >> What What was your reaction? >> It was one of the funniest records I'd ever heard. And my wife and I chuckled and laughed and giggled all night long. >> There was just one thing that bothered me. >> What's that, sir? Who is the fellow they were trying to impersonate? [laughter] [applause] >> Um before we return to our studios u from the practice fields, coach, would you sort of sum up your analysis of the team's chances this year in the Western Division of the CFL? Well, I I think we'll be in there and let's me me and the head coach came up with some pretty good looking prospects in the American College draft. We're going to have a fighting team and uh they'll be out there. They'll be out there play football. >> You you figure the Blue Bombers are are the team to beat, huh? >> Well, now that Calgary herd ain't no pushovers. Uh you know, they can pop that leather, I'll tell you. But we may surprise a few. >> Uh one of your newcomers is a veteran of the Eastern Cut. >> Yes. Yes. From Odawa. He was uh waved out in the big four a few years back. Apparently, he's done a lot of kicking, man. Anyway, we uh figures how he just might help our club. He's got a lot of spirit and uh you want to talk to He's just over yonder catching passes. LB over here. Radio fell wants to uh Hello there. I'll be here. Have a cigarette. I I was uh I was just wondering, are you an American import? >> I was born and raised in Canada, sir. What a ridiculous chilly thing. [applause] >> I believe all the lines are clear now, sir. We can go ahead in a moment. 10 seconds and holding. Gentlemen, are your earphones in place? >> Yeah. Fire uh when ready. >> Good. Uh the signals are uh are stronger now. Uh you may go ahead, sir. I'm fine. Hello. Hello. Hello, your majesty. Ah, it's nice to hear your voice again, your highness. No, no, no. I I can hear you plainly. Well, congratulations. Your grace. Oh, wonderful weather, your lady ship. Snow, no fog. Your time is up. I reverse the charges. Never mind. I I I'm sorry, your majesty. Huh. Well, congratulations once again, Gus. A wonderful job. Thank you. Goodbye, Dr. WHITTEN. [applause] What happens when a man retires from politics? We've seen a great British statesman take up painting. an ex-president of the United States become an eminent historian. But what about Canada's former parliamentarians? Some have retired to the Senate. Others have taken up more active hobbies in the arts. Some of them in the sciences and sports. And that and of course we have proven that. And uh and good evening and uh welcome to the Friday night fright fight fight from the citizens forum and I say that from the bottom of my heart wherever that may be there. And uh uh tonight uh we uh have a 10 rounder, my fellow liberals. And uh in the pink corner from Milwaukee, Liberace uh wearing the silver colored shorts and and his trainer, his mother, uh Lib, thank you very much. Thank you very much. Wonderful to be here. And I'd like to thank my mother and George and and everybody in my family. Thank you very much. Yes. And in the other corner uh from Toronto uh Kate Aken uh wearing the new domestic shorts and uh uh her trainer is Nathan Cohen and he is wearing the good heavens. Yes. Yes. and uh erh uh uh Kate. Hello Canada from coast to coast. Wonderful. Hit him in the head. Sock him in the jaw. Well, let's just keep Yes. And uh the referee who is wearing the And let's have a good uh clean bout. Watch your punches. If uh if one of you uh falls down, I want both boys to go to their corners and remain there. If you hit me, it will cost you the round. And uh keep your trunks up. You're on television. Let's have a good clean bout. Come out and knock the heck out of each other. Thank you. [applause] As I have said before on numerous occasions, in all humility and with that spirit of true Canadianism and devoted dedication to the ideals of the Commonwealth, when I was at the London conference just last year, >> hey, Hey. Uh, I >> there's a telephone call for you. >> No, no, no, no. I I I can't take that now. >> It's important. >> No, no. I I'm I'm I'm very busy. I'm I'm auditioning for spring fall. I Oh, sorry, Maver Chief speaking. Huh? No, no, no, no. I Huh? No. I I'm right in the middle of Oh, the birthday. Oh, the birthday. Now, why didn't you say so? Now, just hold the line a second, my fellow Canadian. I've got a list here somewhere. Ah, here we are. What? Oh, about 60 guests. That's right. 60. Oh, we'll need 372 pounds of steak. Better make it fillet minion or fillet minion. How about six dozen? I want napkins. And be sure they're the ones that cling like cloth. Last year it was murder. Right. Oh, no. No. About 15 or 20 tins. Uh, better make it assorted cookies. About 20 dozen. Fine. And don't forget the cake. Three layer chocolate fudge. No, no, no, no. Nothing fancy. Just uh just simply uh happy birthday. Happy >> [applause] >> Happy. I didn't know you were under the table. I wanted it to be a surprise. [applause] 2,467,322,467,324. Or is it 23? One. 2 3 4. [applause] Our program today originates from a television studio in downtown Toronto. A familiar show is about to be taped. The panel is seated at a semi-ircular table. Camera right is a famous politician wearing a bow tie. In the center, an equally renowned gentleman, very distinguished, wearing a crown. And on the left, a visitor from the United States wearing an enigmatic smile. I don't. >> The moderator, >> a sort of plump, robust Jackie Gleason, has just removed his cape >> and has placed his cane aside. The program is about to begin. >> Good evening. Welcome to another edition. Another edition of Fighting Birds, of course, a program of given sake. We give away long playing broken records and comic books. Then we take them back again. Panel. Here's our first quotation. See what you can do with this. More Canadians use brown sugar on their cereal in the morning than white sugar. I put it to you. More Canadians use brown sugar on their cereal in the morning than white sugar. G Willickers. No, no, Lester, it is not G. Willickers. Very good try, though. No, no, no. You You You've got it all wrong. It's It's Bing Willickers. No, no, no. Not Willickers, but Whitaker. Bing Whitaker. Let me put it to you. Canadians use more brown sugar in their cereal in the morning than white sugar. Any comments? How about our third guest? Any comments, sir? >> Well, uh, Mr. Bo and I, uh, I don't know about Canada, but, uh, in America, we certainly are not using Cuban sugar. >> Why is that? >> [applause] >> No, gentlemen, please. One at a time. Jack, you first. Well, I uh I know at home that you'll be glad to know that, for instance, Teddy uses Canadian maple sugar at breakfast, while Bobby uses honey on his Pablo. I uh I believe that Peter and Dino use straight bourbon. What about you, Mr. Defbaka? >> I I use Fort York pickles. MR. SPEAKER, IN ALL MY YEARS OF POLITICAL AFFAIRS, I've never heard anything so ridiculous. So absurd brown sugar instead of white sugar. If you think these are the major issues of Canada, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN. UNEMPLOYMENT ARE ENTRY TO THE COMMON MARKET. CAN YOU DRAW A DATE FROM THE PROBLEM? GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. PLEASE. This is worse than the Bobby's birthday party. I I agree. It's terrible. Just cherry, please. >> Gentlemen, gentlemen, I have the last word on this. Personally, I use instant sugar on my cereal. >> Instant sugar? How do you uh how do you work that? I simply add my cane and stir. [applause] Let's move along panel to our next quotation. See what you can do with this one. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I'll repeat that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. This was sent in by R. Little of Ottawa. What about it, Penel? I put it to you. Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery? >> Oh, yes. I I I don't mind anyone imitating me. I I have no objection at all as long as it's clearly understood. It's my brother Elmer they're imitating. I uh I agree with that, Mr. Deanbaka. As long as it's not me they're imitating, but my uh brother Bobby. >> Yes. Well, I I'll go along with that. So long as it's my sister Kate they're imitating, not me. >> I didn't know you had a sister Kate. Well, I had to say something. [applause] [applause] In conclusion, in so far as these matters are concerned, allow me to say in all humility, where the spirit of obligation and devotion, a spirit of that Canadianism that prevails in the hearts of free men everywhere, I say to you with a humble heart and deep appreciation, good night. Good night, John. [applause] [applause]