Holding The Reins

as Barbara's mother and father have become increasingly skillful at helping her develop language it has become clear that a special time and place for concentrated activity is better for daily family routine perhaps even more important they know from experience that to be prepared mix for both enjoyment and success it's evening grown-up time and Barbara is sleeping peacefully mrs. Carter is finishing plans for Barbara's lesson the next day what's the matter sue the dawn box just won't work you can't make it work let me see it oh you do have a mess here I think I've got some tape out there in the garage that I can fix up with it okay take out with little paint left over from the long furniture so I thought I'd make this a first-class job Oh beautiful wet yeah that's lovely and look what I've done I'm all ready for the next week one of the secrets of keeping any child's interest is to use different materials or activities each day Barbara has played a great variety of games for lip-reading first with airplanes and later with shoes she's been involved in all sorts of activities while learning the word up well well need this tomorrow we haven't used this for a long time and Barbara loved it mm-hmm but I sort of liked that one myself they're for tomorrow's venture the checklist includes pencil and paper attractive materials appropriate games and a pleasant setting toys are placed so that mrs. Carter not Barbara has control of them the stage is all set find the shoe yeah oh there's the shoe the shoes where's the shoe yes mrs. Carter the pit box is a success Barbara knows from previous experience that there will be interesting things to do naturally summer more so than others yet all our fun a sort of fun and learning that should go on all day long with this additional specific practice something wrong Barbara we have to do one more shoe then we can play with the milk bottle after all a circus would be boring obscene every day and we'll play with the new pop okay where is the shoe we're all through we can get the milk bottle now I play them out here and we're going to listen read in the no fire when you hear the drum you heard the job good you heard the draft don't look good listen the drum wait Barbara trouble seems to be brewing how will mrs. Carter handle this first she explains what is to be done in the matter of fact yet vivid way the game is shortened so there's no danger of expecting too much mrs. Carter is not coaxing or begging not till then it's apparent that Barbara wants to go ahead with this activity she knows how to do this auditory response she's feeling fine too at this point however Barbara prefers to put her mother to a test she's saying how far can I go in running this show for other shows to put it in another way she is saying no generally rather than saying it to anything related to her listen there are certain areas where parents must guide and make decisions for their children in this case Barbara doesn't understand the importance of developing language nor will she for a long time to come Barbara's parents know that they must decide for Barbara I know the winds blowing but we've got to do two more pins first let's do two more pins first trying to distract won't work Barbara mrs. Carter keeps out other possible points of controversy one point of contention is enough could she be sleepy hardly she's bored since there's nothing for her to do except the interesting activity at hand this in essence is mrs. Carter's most effective tool she maneuvers the situation so that Barbara has the choice of the activity or boredom then she waits Barbra's thinking over the situation carefully again this is what her mother wants for her to decide that it's not only easier but more fun to finish the game she's found the limits and she's coming to an important decision okay listen good okay at last mrs. Carter realizes that Barbara needs to save face so she helps her finish as if nothing had happened mrs. Carter was shortened this activity and end the entire lesson while Barbara's enthusiasm is high both have had something of a test like the gyroscope up [Applause] up we're not okay I have a good walk through with that I guess we'll save a book for another day we've had enough for today it's not easy to help your child to accept a limit especially the first since it's always the hardest how do you feel mrs. Carter I'm proud of Barbara and I'm proud of myself we both know where we stand there'll be other times both during lessons and in the course of the day as Barbara learns about living but by meeting a crisis early in life she and her mother can look forward to fewer and shorter tests of limits Barbara by knowing and accepting her few necessary boundaries will feel more at ease and all that she does [Music]