He Restoreth My Soul (1974)

e well Merill was a energetic boy Merill as a child used to always go around the house singing songs and uh carrying his little baby sister around singing songs to her it's funny how Merill looked one look at me and said um that's the girl I'm going to marry and this is the way he went from then on was Thanksgiving Day 1961 and I've been trapped in a horrible snowstorm in the middle of Oregon you know it's a little different at that day than it is on a day like today you see the sun shining and the Beautiful SC around and you can see these mountain peaks I'd actually landed at the little place called Beaver Marsh Oregon the day before Thanksgiving in this horrible snowstorm I thought Merill was a very handsome fellow when I married him I thought he was attractive because he had a good set of teeth his his hair was attractive beautiful waves got up the next day the weather had cleared somewhat and I wanted to be back in Spokan with my family because I hadn't missed a reunion with them one time in all of my life I taxi the airplane up to the North End Of The Landing Strip warmed up the engines very well and took off going to the South got about maybe 200 300 ft above the uh trees a qu of a mile from the runway when all of a sudden both engines [Applause] quit I should have landed straight ahead of course there nothing but huge pine trees there and so I thought about landing on the road yet there were nothing with cars and I didn't want to tangle with those so I made the next best decision which was really the only decision I had left and that was to try to make a 180° turn and get back back to the end of the runway the airplane was starting to shake and I knew it was going to stall at any moment so we had to pick a spot and actually fly it down into the trees I remember hitting one tree and knocking the top off I hit something uh hit my head on something in the airplane and was knocked unconscious the airplane traveled about 100 yards in through the trees uh bouncing from One Tree to the next you notice even this uh one tree up here that shows uh a lot of the scars I think the way it spunt it around in the airplane then continued on tail first and it came to rest in the trees and I was unconscious when this 108 gallons of gasoline that was on board exploded and caught on fire when I first opened my eyes I was just surrounded by flames and looking at it here you'd hardly recognize that this thing was an airplane or that it could actually fly this is the end of a near fatal airplane crash but the beginning of something new that God was doing in our lives we'd had coffee with a young fellow we were going back home immediately after we got in the house we heard the motors cutting out so then that's when we ran out in the yard to see what had happened and seen the plane was going to crash and after we after I could see the plane was going down I got in my car as I drove up and stopped the young fellow was coming out of the woods just real close to the highway he looked terrible his face was burned his jacket was burned I couldn't even imagine how I could see the walk but he had gotten out of the plane and walked that far when I got there now many things could have happened at that time you know when I awoke I was in the Flames with my eyes open breathing the fumes and yet today I still have 2020 Vision where no corrective lenses my throat was not hurt I could have very easily seared my lungs and it could have taken my life I fell down into the snow and looked back seeing this huge big ball of flame and that's all I saw for a long time everything that was exposed was burned my whole complete total face was burned off of my hair my hands but the coat I had on was a sport coat made of some synthetic material and it hardened just as hard as asbest and they had to break it off of me in the hospital even if I would have survived where would they have got enough skin to replace my face and my hands because you see my forehead and my temple area comes from right in on the right side of my body the chin and the cheeks come across the center part of my stomach my neck area comes from the lower part of my stomach the nose and the eyelids come from the upper parts of my arms I got to the Highway by listening for some cars and some fellas that had a cup of coffee with just a few minutes earlier come down in their car to see if they couldn't help me they picked me up and put me in the backseat of their automobile and starred me on the way to the hospital you know how I must have felt at that time here I my face was completely burned my hands were burned and I reached up and opened up one eye so I could see the skin on the back of my hands and then I laid down in the backseat of the car instead of Desiring you know feeling like crying out in pain as would be the normal thing I all of a sudden felt like singing and I sang all the way to the hospital and all the time that the doctor wrapped my hands next day when my wife came to see me the doctor made a statement of her said that you know Mrs wack we lose more patience from the shock that a companies a burn like this than the burn itself yet your husband didn't have even the slightest bit of shock must have been the song that he was singing that song was so important and I've come to regard as one of my favorites it goes like this I found a sweet Savior and now I'm made whole I'm pardoned and have my release his Spirit Abiding and blessing my soul praise God in my heart there is peace wonderful peace wonderful peace peace that the world cannot give when I think how he brought me from Darkness to light there's a wonderful wonderful peace I um went to his room and I went in and I went to wash my hands and I looked out of the side of my eye and I saw this man in the uh bed and um the look of the man I saw on the bed was um something I didn't want to claim as my husband and um I whispered to myself dear God don't let that creature my husband and uh he heard me washing my hands in the pan and uh he said is someone there and right then and there I knew it was my husband because the voice was Merl's and um I said yes honey I'm here and I went over to the bed and um I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say his head was as large as a basketball it sat out here on his shoulders and U was just fantastic it was like a marshmallow that had been put into a fire and left till it was charcoal black and it had swollen up his whole face was charcoal absolutely black and you couldn't even see the eyes and then his hands were all burned also just right through of this whole area and right here and they were just held up tight and just some places white and some places black but most of it was all through here and on his face you could hardly even see his nose or find his nose at all his mouth was all puffed up and his face was probably about this big around when Dad called up the day of the accident we thought that he was just great you know cuz he talked he sounded just great on the phone I thought well he he didn't break any bones and he sounds really good on the phone so why even worry then when we found out what actually happened we couldn't believe it I mean you know there was actually happened to our dad and how could God actually let this happen to him he was getting curious as to what he looked like what his appearance was like and we decided we better take all of the mirrors out of the room because he is a man that has performed in front of people and he was a very handsome man and uh we didn't know quite the doctor was especially interested and concerned he didn't know quite how he would react if he saw himself in this condition so we took all the mirrors out but um he was a a pretty sharp person and one time he could see a tiny little slit of chrome and he could see his reflection in this chrome and um he saw himself in this chrome and I had been out for lunch at that particular time and came back in and he was sitting there very very solemn in bed and I asked him what's wrong honey and he said oh nothing special and I said well something's wrong since I've left the room what happened and he said well how can you stand by me when I look like this and I knew the words that I used and the things that I would say at that time would remember and stay in his heart and his mind for the rest of his life and I said at that time I I Just prayed God to give me the right words to say and I said U Merill Beauty's Only Skin Deep and I love you for what's within not from what's not because of what's outside we had a group of kids uh I went out and back and tried to play ball with Dan and we must have had uh two dozen neighborhood boys come in you know and they were just staring what is this it bothered Dan a little bit at first and he wanted to fight him off and it's it's almost in the same way we went downtown and I'd walk down the street and it was so funny uh I'm I'm thankful that I felt that way about it in Virginia did too people would walk by us and then they'd walk clear around the block again to see me the second time or they'd back up it was funny they they'd start backing up with us and walk with me and the kids in a way like we'd get into a restaurant and we'd be eating and someone would sit there and they'd just stare and the kids felt like standing up you know and going over and telling them stop it they closed up one eye completely and left the other eye only about the size of a little pee that he could look out of and uh so he couldn't see the people that were on the side that were staring and looking at him but we as his family could and the little kids in the restaurant sometimes would scream out and mommy mommy you know what is what is that man the monster yeah I remember somebody said that he had a mask on well remember my um one of the guys I Babys set for came to the door one night and told told Dad that he'd make a good guy for a horror film because it's the way you looked one of the things that really helped us to get back out again was to come to a conclusion understand our own minds that we look different so I knew people were going to and you know we a place of saying well yeah they're going to stare and if they don't stare there's something wrong with them they have to be a little bit stupid because if I was out on the street and I saw somebody that looked like me I'd look first time we went back on a trip for the company was from Seattle to Los Angeles I remember getting on this big commercial airline and sitting down next to a gentleman looked at me once and he looked back again right away he wanted to ask me of course what happened to me but he didn't ask me right then until we got out on the runway and we started down the runway and all of a sudden he turned to me and says what the happened to you well he asked me I'm going to tell him so I said oh I had an airplane accident and that poor guy I could see his feet just going like this right against the front of the the back of the next seat and he sat that way all the way to Los Angeles I can still remember when we touched down he went Merill I'm real happy to see these skin grabs that we placed on the back of your hands are working so well I remember your hands were fixed just about like this and you couldn't even move them in the beginning and now the greatest news I think I heard was when you called me and said you'd now been able to play the piano again I knew I had to start using my hands again if I was ever going to use them and you know since I couldn't see anything I could just had one little slit in my eye that I could I could see couldn't watch television couldn't read books none of these things so I thought maybe I could sit down and start playing the piano and in trying to do so the fingers were so tender I couldn't even push the keyboard down to get it strike a note so I thought about waving an Oregan and I called a friend of mine who was in business ask him about rental of one and said no Marl I I can't rent you one but I'll let you use one and uh he brought one out for the first few weeks I I sat down and by the hour would sit down and just so refreshing to me to just sit down and love [Music] breath it was during this first time when I was home from the hospital that the church asked me if I'd come back and sing for them if I was at all up to it I remember the first time I went into the auditorium some of the the people that saw me of course they had we were friends for many years and it hurt them to see me the way I was no doubt so only had one eye that I could see anything out of at all this eye was completely closed and one little slit for the right eye no Bridge of the nose the skin just went right straight across from cheek to cheek my lips were completely pulled open so you could just see all the gums and the teeth right here we had one dear woman that felt that um he shouldn't get out to Church in that appearance that it made her sick and she had to leave and go home but thank the Lord he had given us a song again and one of the numbers that I sang that night was has always been so so dear to me and I'm sure that that uh it has grown to be one of the most well-loved of all Christian hymns go oh Lord my God when I know some Wonder consider all the World by hands of and he came to pson after his visit there I was impressed to do something that would perhaps be meaningful to him at that time I decided that I would try to obtain some of the pieces of the wreckage of the airplane from Beaver Marsh Oregon and I did that and uh welded this assemblage and the head is made out of one of the gauge covers taken from the dash of the airplane there are pieces of the Fus Lodge in the legs and in the arms in the chest area the springs that run vertically across the chest were taken from the Pilot's seat I think that perhaps this sculpture symbolizes uh the way that God has worked in Marl W's life in what perhaps in another person's life might have spelled uh defeat and disaster he has turned into into a Victorious thing and well Merill has been the greatest inspiration that I've ever seen for anybody that has a severe injury and then takes charge so many people we have that have these things quit they just give up and they go hide in the corner and they just don't go out into life and realize that no matter even if I have a little deformity I'm still have that precious quality of indiv uality of life even though it's been changed a little bit there was one time when they worked on on my hands and had to work around the nerves I still have one nerve that's pretty well exposed when I touch it I feel it up in my fingertips like an electric shock but uh when they worked on these Virginia was afraid for me remember honey they the doctor even was fearful because I was in such a depressed mood during this particular time the only time of all the operations that had ever depressed him and then it hit the nerves very much so and I went home really feeling just really out of it and I spent about two horrible ugly Lonesome weeks again I I really feel myself this was God's way of working with us because I hadn't felt this hadn't experienced this and if I had not experienced that in some way I could not relate to people who do experience it because of something happening in their lives we went through two weeks of not being able to come out of this depression not being able to get out of it and the strangest thing and I I say this I strangest thing when people talk to me at that time you know like we had well-meaning Christian friends good friends who had come by and say well trust God everything will be okay and it just drove me deeper into depression when this was said and the strangest thing too even the scriptures that before that time had been had buoyed our spirit made us feel better made me feel worse the more we would try to read the Bible and pray and talk to others about it the deeper we got it seemed like the the Bible just wasn't answering our our needs but a wonderful thing happened at that time a man that I'd been singing in a quartet with that I'd been playing ball with before the strangest thing one night he came to our house at 10 o'clock at night uh he was leaving in the morning at 5:00 to go on a trip but he was laying in bed at night and all of a sudden he said uh honey talking to his wife said let's go visit Maryland Virginia I have so here they take and he gets he gets in uh in his car he and his wife come over to our house and they walk in you know they don't start saying to us how do you feel you shouldn't be feeling this bad you know all the normal cliches but what they do what he does is start bringing up experiences that we'd enjoyed in the past good things that we' enjoyed the ball games we' played on the games would won the games we lost the quartet singing beautiful things that we had enjoyed and you know before that man left that night this the Depression was gone and we were alive again and uh didn't try to preach to us you know but he just came and shared right and we needed it at that time and in the sharing it was beautiful and the sharing was a strength and uh but that's that's probably was a lonesomest time the worst time you know there is sometimes depression God allows depression too but through it there was a beautiful lesson learned but he always asked for guidance in the thing and he always asked that the Lord keep me going and keep himself going and his wife and family cuz these are tremendous trying times for any family that gets mixed up in some type of of really major catastrophe which this is when I say fell that I can I think I can understand what you're going through when you lay here we spent some 50 weeks in the hospital as I told you during that time we had not only you know not only the skin grafting that you see here where all of my face and the and the hands all of this was was replaced and all the skin on my face but along with that I had fitis in my left leg two blood clots went through my heart they had to tie off the two major veins had pneumonia in both lungs had staff infection for five weeks I shouldn't really be here except that I feel God wanted me to be here you know the amaz the wonderful thing about it fellas the peace that God gives the strength that God can give no matter in the in the in the the worst of circumstances even the times when you might fear as you're laying down the look at I've had enough I've had enough yet understanding that God is alive and just to never give up you know to go that extra little mile to believe to have strength and Faith to believe that we don't let the problems get the best of us but we really get the best of the problems the last hospitalization was just a year ago and sometime this year I'll be back in again I'd like to just to sing a song for you one that has really come to be a a little bit of a I might say a little Testimony song to me you know because uh God has always always been with us he's promised to never leave us nor forsake us we've been through some problems he doesn't promise fellas to keep us away from the problems but he promises us to take care of us through the problems through the circumstances Now you listen to the words of the song Would you as we sing them for you [Music] I've [Music] I'll again [Music] heed will today are I'll be happy again [Music] again I'll sing it again through [Music] lonce I'll be happy again there was someone before there'll be someone [Music] again he him say you be happy again there's TR to I [Music] [Music] you most beautiful singing you've ever heard in your life is this man has an excellent voice and uh has cut a number of records and uh actually in this one operating room scene this one night uh it was done under a local anesthetic and the whole operation he sang and saying and saying the whole time do I want to be back the way I was before not no I want to be the way God wants me to be this is the way God has led us this is what God wants and we pray with the idea Lord whatever H whatever is your will now sure I I really feel I definitely feel that God is such a god of Miracles that if he wanted to he could turn me right back into the new flesh and look exactly like I looked before the accident I believe that but that isn't what I want what we want we want what God wants I'm what he wants me to be I'm where he wants me to be I look the way he wants me to look I'm not disappointed on how the surgery has come out at all because to me um but like our son says uh he's more handsome now than he was before and this may seem hard to believe on some for for some people to believe but um this is the way we feel I'm sure it's been hard on Dad and everything having the scars and everything else but I've got a big security there here with my dad living it's wonderful when you have a a wife and children family who behind you my own immediate family you know wife could have said that boy he sure looks different and and not really wanted to be with me or ashamed of me when out in public but they went that way kids still acted very proud of their dad no matter what I look like friends who were always there and family who was alongside all the time and what a strength this means you know to to just have the the family and the children the friends all right there with you I feel sorry for anybody that doesn't have God to lean on because we couldn't have done it without the Lord but I feel that he brought us this way for a real real purpose and if we had to do it all over again if some way we could go back and blueprint our own lives say this is what we would like to happen in the next 12 years we wouldn't change one bit of [Music] it I've [Music] beeny again rains to and silvering again he has promised to dry every tear from my I will trust him today are I'll be [Music] again I'll sing it again through the dark lonely night he will guide me and I will in his face Amazing Grace I'll be happy again [Music] [Music] R he [Music] Resto I be again [Music]