Discipline During Adolescence

e [Music] [Music] n [Music] [Music] hello har good morning good morning Ed H oh Jimmy say where's your big brother this morning well we let Steve take the morning off off this morning Ed a he stayed in bed I guess he well too bad didn't make it well nice to seeing you goodbye bye bye bye [Applause] he was the matter with Steve this morning how come he didn't have to go to church when I did that's something I'd like somebody to answer yeah Jimmy Steve had a late night he's tired some excuse now just you never mind dinner will be ready in about a half an hour okay I'm going down the basement change your clothes yeah an we're making a mistake letting Steve get away with this what's the matter with him all of a sudden anyway he used to be a nice obedient kid like Jimmy he's not Jimmy's age anymore he's not even up yet Harry sit down I want to talk this thing over before Steve appears and I want you to listen now I know Steve came in far too late last night we don't even know what time he came in last night except it was after 3:00 a.m. now just a minute Harry Steve is almost grown up and don't say anything until I finish he's old old enough to know right from wrong Molly Thornton was telling me she had exactly the same trouble with Bob a few years ago and she left him absolutely alone and before long he was keeping sensible hours without a word from anyone but an Steve is not like Bob you know Steve he'll drop his homework if one of the gang calls up you're not showing much faith in your own son that's nonsense I'm worried about his schoolwork is he going to get through high school and go to college or is he not right now it doesn't look too hopeful I'm telling you what he needs and what every kid needs he needs to be told what to do and if he doesn't do it we punish him that's all there is to it Harry I remember you telling me how strict your father was how you used to sneak out because you thought his rules were unfair well they were unfair too you told me you behaved worse because he was so strict you rebelled that's right well then how about listening to my idea for handling Steve we can at least try well what is it we won't even mention last night treat him just like a grownup act as though we weren't concerned at all not say anything not anything now Steve will probably be down at any moment we ought to look as though we hadn't even thought about him you know he'll probably have a perfectly good explanation for why he was so late last night then he'll apologize you'll see hi Dad hi Mom hello dear uh say Dad I was going if I could use the car after dinner some of the fellas want to go into town this afternoon and uh I said I could probably get our car hear me PP yes sure son I won't be using it thanks B what time's dinner mom about a half an hour that was some explanation some apology he gave us believe hi Honey hi have you missed me baby oh sure Cokes for everyone uh after last night uh give me coffee good and strong you get to be a real Playboy aren't you Steve what do you guys get to do all the homework I hear the teachers give you my aim is to enjoy life honey don't spoil up by talking about homework all you men about town what coffee yeah yeah with cream for me uh me too uh and a couple of donuts hey I'll have a piece of that apple pie make it to apple pie Flo hey were your folks mad at you when you came in last night mine were they were sitting up waiting for me started to yell at me right then and there if you're not in by 10 they seem to think you're robbing old ladies or or taking dope or something you know what my dad said to me he said he'd beat the tar out of me but good if I ever stayed out later than 1:00 again what does you think I am an 8-year-old kid oh I don't know my folks and I had put I talk this morning about staying out late they understood why I stayed out late last night but they pretty well convinced me it wasn't a good idea oh come off you know what I'd do if my dad tried anything on me I'd leave home I wouldn't stand for it nobody's going to give me that stuff well I don't mind a few rules as long as they stay the same the trouble with my dad is he doesn't know what he wants he seems to change his mind every day who's having a PR right here yeah I'm here Donut's here not eating today Steve just coffee will that be all for you gentlemen yeah say I bet Flo would be a lot of fun on a DAT oh she wouldn't go with you oh no take this kid she'd sure cause a sensation if I took her to the harmony hop on the 21st so you got a date for the dance Steve oh sure I I'll ask jie it's going to run into money though let see tickets for two something to eat afterwards chipping in on the gas that's really going to stretch my allowance yeah it costs a lot of dough to go anywhere practically my dad can't understand why kids don't stay at home the way he did but boy he never makes it much fun for me to stick around yeah it kills me the way parents forget that you got to have fun while you're young you know I figur that so is just about as important is anything you do for [Music] more to dear no thanks dear was Steve up when you came down yeah he was washing he's going to be late for school bye Dad bye mom goodbye dear enough is enough not one word have we said to Steve about the hours he keeps and it's got worse every weekend for the last 3 weeks now it's on a weekday it's 8:00 and he's not down yet and no wonder heaven knows what time he got in this morning and I'm not standing for this any longer I know Harry I can't understand why he's so foolish he must know better I thought he'd come to his senses by himself the way Molly thoron said Bob did that's not the way to handle Steve though look at his last rep card and see how much he's learning he doesn't seem to care about earning any money just spending mine and having a good time I know I don't want to let him spoil his life that's exactly what we're doing though and what gets me he's so cocky comes and goes without a word to us seems to take all this for granted there's something to be said for good oldfashioned discipline maybe you're right Harry I don't know what to do I'll let you handle it this time I'll straighten him out Steve Steve do you hear me come down here right away I want to talk to you oh you did manage to get up this morning oh sure I guess I didn't hear the alarm go off oh boy I feel kind of tired you feel sort of tired yeah I should think anyone with any Common Sense would know if he kept the hours you've been keeping that he'd feel tired I've stood for all the nonsense I'm going to Steve mother and I thought that perhaps you'd see for yourself that these hours are no good but apparently not your school marks are a disgrace I want to hit you all of a sudden P Steve your father is terribly worried about your schoolwork you know we want you to go to college next year you just don't seem to care you can't treat me like a kid oh no well listen to this young man considering your last report card you're staying in every night for a week in study starting tonight it's my business what I do with my time you don't seem to have enough common sense to know what to do about anything and here's something else for you to think about I'm cutting off your allowance for a week as punishment for your rudess but Dad the school dance is a week from tomorrow night I've got to go I mean Genie will be counting on it and I need my allowance to pay for it you've nobody but yourself to blame if you'd start earning some money of your own for a change you wouldn't get stuck like this if you can't decide between your schoolwork and having a good time then I'll decide for you it's unfair you don't say anything about this to me for weeks and all of a sudden you begin you don't you don't understand I understand this much you'll stay in every night for a week in study and there'll be no allowance Steve your breakfast has Steve asked you to the dance yet Genie no but he' better I've just bought a dreamy new dress mother nearly died when she found out how much it cost I'd die if Bill waited this long to ask me we just take it for granted we'll go together hi coming down to help decorate Genie sure Steve and I are on the committee well Steve says he can't come School schol dances it for kids I'm sick of the same dances with the same people at him doing the same things well you're going aren't you look I I got to talk to you what's got into him he talks like a jerk I always figured he was a swell guy but now I don't know you through with this yes sure son here dear I made you a cup of cocoa this has been the most uncomfortable week I've ever spent why what's the matter you know perfectly well what's the matter Steve hasn't spoken an unnecessary word to us since last Friday it's been awful just sulking he'll get over it I don't like it he's been humiliated wish we' treated him more like an adult that failed completely as we found out this punishment will do him a world of good something drastic was needed Steve will be a different person from now on he's different now and I hate it we've got to find a better way to discipline him why can't we talk things over with him try to make him realize why we're punishing him Steve's parents have obviously created a bad situation his mother assumed that Steve knew what he should do and has failed to give him guidance Steve's father has assumed that laying down the law was enough were both assumptions wrong why Steve is now so embittered he may react in a way that could seriously affect his future education and work as well as his personality development if you were Steve's parents what would you do [Music]