Are You The One? (1967)

[Music] know will there forever be moment [Music] magic for me I wish I wish I knew I need your love to be my light my whole life I wish I [Music] there's a good one okay that should do it hey you know I better get you back they'll think I've abducted you oh would you try me think we'd better get back come on [Music] hey look Marilyn 12 years they've been married and they're still on a honeymon gee that's great I hope I can have a marriage like that come could I see your necking license please have some marshmallow stick bye hey did that walk bring back your appetite DG here's another sandwich no thanks you'll keep it she'd have me as big around as I am tall oh you can just thank me that he's alive today you know when he first started boarding with us three years ago he was the most lean hungry looking student the campus had ever seen and then surle went to work on him and like with everything else she does she was a rousing success well thank you hey kids come on over here marshmallow time one for each of you there you for you hey how about us well here you go GE this is f thanks a lot for inviting us glad you could come we uh sort of like to demonstrate the joy of family life as often as possible you sure do a good job of that Doug never stops talking about you two well he couldn't have a better example than Michael mama my marshmallow is on fire and I hereby present him with a marshmallow speech thank you thank you [Music] here you go well you know I wonder why my folks never took us on oh I don't know the way you describe them they don't sound much like picnic people to me what do you mean well honey uh a picnic's a pretty conventional thing your folks aren't dad that isn't fair oh hone me it's nothing against your parents it's just that they're different different from what from my folks for one thing your folks isn't everybody oh now what do you mean your father sounds like the closest thing I've ever heard of to Queen Victoria come on how do we get on this by you're attacking my parents excuse me I meant to attack their daughter oh d M Queen Victoria didn't teach you [Music] much not a thing oh wonderful what's wonderful thinking of Doug Esther I really think this is it you know what I think we're going to be late for work if you don't get a move on hey as of last night I got it all figured out what figured out my marriage Wy died oh I'm sort of performing an autopsy in this marriage class I'm taking yeah well I know now how good marriage can be and I want to be ready for her when the chance comes again I've been batting my brains to figure out what I did that was wrong what he did that was wrong what that drive did that was wrong but when it comes right down to it it's this we just should never have gotten married in the first place oh it was no good it was just a a lousy match of course we were kids then we didn't know what marriage was all about but now at least I'm more mature I think I'll be better able to judge well weren't you in love with Bill love sure if you mean did he turn me on Wow but let me tell you something sweetheart contrary to popular opinion once the marriage not is tied Making Love Is not your only occupation but could You' have known all this beforehand all these differences sure if I'd been smart for instance we went to visit his parents they didn't like me and I didn't like them felt out of place huh like a pork chop in a synagogue gee Doug and I haven't even met each other's folks yet so far we're neither one too impressed and friend another thing that bugged us I didn't like his and he couldn't in fact we never agreed on anything important I guess the only thing we had going for us was sex and even that can get to be pretty unifying if nothing else is right well just don't make the same mistake the second time right and don't you make it the first time don't worry mama hey how about this for the dance tomorrow night cute the one for me how can I [Music] forever moment mag the one for me I wish I wish I [Music] knew I need your love to be my light my whole [Music] I wish I [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] knew thank you see uh that's a beautiful dress do you like it it's nice you know it's going to take some rich man to keep you in the style to which you're becoming a custom it's working in that dress shop I see something and I just can't resist it put yourself on a budget budget how boring you may have to someday I'll think about it tomorrow hey there's real butter in this frosting margarine no bakeries these days use butter well Dad there are some people who take pride in their work who like to put out a good product not in the business world you get as much as you can for the least effort I'm dead what's the matter I'm just wondering how it would be to have a cynic for a husband uh no more challenging than to marry a paana someone who's naive and gullible but what about children Doug don't they need to grow up feeling secure knowing the world's a safe place is it safe of course it is okay okay hey speaking of children I promise Shirley I'd take the kids off her hands tomorrow she's got a club meeting how about you and I taking them to the zoo sure I love the zoo [Music] hot dog can we help one dog please please I'm starving you know what your mother said only the popcorn h a please no oh come on Doug I'll buy the hot dogs for them look honey I told shirle I do what she said now the kids have eaten nothing but Jun B CU her mother's going to have dinner on the table in half an hour if they're full of hot dogs she won't be happy aren't you ever a child Dad what's a visit to the zoo without our Hot Dogs part of the well part of the ritual and what these kids need more than hot dogs is a little self-control how many people could use just a little self-control meaning me you said that you know you'll probably spoil your children rotten and why not children are entitled to a little spoiling before long they're adults and it's all over and if they're spoiled kids they'll be spoiled adults oh children think the whole universe has to revolve around them these days Marilyn look I'm not going to be mean to my kids but I do want to help them develop a little self-control and responsibility can't you see that oh I don't see what all this has to do with having a hot on at the zoo I think you're [Music] mean hi kid you have a good time yeah boy was in fun good dad had fight Mara child tail go on now you two get washed up did you and Shirley ever disagree on much before you got married nothing important we um sort of took our time and got to know each other pretty thoroughly well there was a time I wanted to dye my hair and Michael about had a fit did you do it no it was a struggle but uh he finally convinced me I was gorgeous just the way I was you have to think of like on the essentials and then with the minor things you well you have to be able to give and take are you in Maryland having trouble with Doug sort of for instance what if we had children and didn't agree on how to raised them he believes in spanking and I don't they herow up neurotic don't we all you know what El sometimes I think we just look at life differently he thinks I'm gullible and well sometimes I think he's a little bit cynical marn why don't you come with me tonight where my marriage class this is exactly what we're talking about how to find out if you're a good match if you're compatible and and it's informal we all just discuss things oh I don't know all that scientific stuff bores me besides I don't want a marriage drange by a computer you'd prefer one arranged by your glands look Marilyn I don't go for the cold calculating approach either but this time around I'm going to be just a little more intelligent about it you know an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and I got the pounds to prove it okay why not and hurry so far I've got a perfect attendance record for sitting right by the most eligible boy in the class this morning I found a good comment on Love and Marriage if of all words of tongue and Pen the s a star it might have been more sad are these we daily see it is but hadn't ought to be you probably all know at least one marriage like this we counselors see them all the time people who if they had been better matched would have been spared a lot of grief and had much richer lives story of my life a while much as you try to avoid it mismatching will occur frequently the couple involved just gets Carried Away by their emotions every marriage has both positive and negative elements and the more compatible two people are the more positive their marriage will be now we've already mentioned temperament what are some other compatibilities need uh for instance uh my mother needed she really needed to belong to every social club and and committee there was around or thought she needed one year she was president of three women's clubs we nearly starved that year and she was always after dad to try for this or that even wanted him to run for a county office drove him nuts he couldn't have cared less about all that well another compa ility that's important is role conceptions and believe me on this one I know what I'm talking about last year I was engaged to a boy who wanted a wife to be a housekeeper a cook and a babysitter he wanted to make all the decisions and I was supposed to wait on him hand and foot before long I realized that this setup wasn't for me but would this boy be a good mate for another girl well sure he'd be okay for a girl who wanted to settle for that now that's an important point someone who isn't the best match for you might be quite compatible with an ex person any other compatibilities what about values like uh how do the two of you look at life look at people feeling the same about religion family size leisure time they like my folks for example they could never agree on how to spend money mom would have bought books all the time books and pangs and if he could have Dad would have had a dozen sports cars money that's a tough one gosh with all these things to worry about it's a wonder anybody's married I know but remember needs values Etc are just the specifics we can point to in discussing compatibility there's something else that governs the way people get along a kind of a overall personality reaction you have to tiptoe around in your relationship you embarrass each other or are you comfortable enough together to air your troubles without feeling rejected are you honestly proud of each other if so you can be flexible enough to adapt and to help each other grow so how do you get answers to all these things run your date through an IBM machine not your date just your data as a matter of fact there are some things you can do to get to know your perspective mate better things we too often ignore [Music] now then are you all warmed up then let's have the first group move into place and we'll take our compositional studies [Music] hi have you finished your composition how' you like it it was interesting you hated it well no I didn't 15 good-looking girls in black leotards how could I hate it I uh I'm not sure I understood it but you hated it I knew you would well no I didn't modern dance requires a sense of beauty an appreciation of movement and emotion and it's a challenge a real thrill to dance a lot more productive way to spend your time than fishing you hate it I knew you would I don't hate it it's just boring dancing is relaxing and creative at the same time besides I want to teach it someday I thought you wanted to get married someday of course I do but that doesn't mean I still can't dance or teach does it I guess that depends on who you marry all right what's your wife going to do do your wife and a mother it seems to me that's enough of a career women can vegetate that way Dad we have been emancipated you know well look what's more important jumping around with a bunch of women and black Le tards are taking care of a home and children it's not an either or thing Doug you can do both but not well how come we've never talked about these things before this never came up I guess hey Doug is that all we have in common it's a pretty good start but with us it's not only where we start but where we end up some growing relationship we've got but don't get all excited about it I will get excited if I want to Doug oh Doug I'm sorry oh Esther it was awful is he mad at you oh no he doesn't get mad he just stays calm and collector that makes me feel like an idiot in fact we're alike in practically nothing comparity wow oh Mar I don't know this is going to sound pretty square but maybe it's better to find out now than later huh but Esther I don't want to break up with him I love him I think what do you mean I love him sure you melt when you're in his arms but what else one day he'll be a 70-year-old man what will you two be sharing then look breaking Up's no fun but it's a picnic compared to doing it after marriage but maybe he'll change Esther or maybe I will he could decide it's not so bad for women to work a little outside the home and I could change my mind about disciplining children and things like that well people can change but I wouldn't count on it I couldn't get Bill to change so much as his table manners if you're going to marry Doug marry him for what he is now there are some things you can help him to change if your relationship's right but there are some things Doug can't change and there are some things you can't change either [Music] for [Music] well Merill and I I think maybe we hadn't better see each other for a while anyway I know we don't seem to be making it do we no I like you a lot Doug I guess we're just not terribly compatible yeah yeah I've been thinking about it I I know I'm really not what you needed a husband then and there are other girls I guess that are closer to what you need in a wife maybe the thing is Marilyn I I know that marriage can be great the match is right and if you work at it well that's what I want for me and I want the same thing for you but I just like you so much I want you to be happy I really do I know oh I'll always remember you Doug and all the fun that we've done together I hope we can still be good friends I'm sure I'll check back now and then who knows what might happen in a year or so hey uh let's not waste that music [Laughter]