Ain't Gonna Eat My Mind

whatever humans to live in this community today may be to share in and in human existence one must learn from implausible Models the speciality of survival one must be as Relentless in the pursuit of this survival as these Tough City pigeons with hands to steal legs to run eyes that view life and death which may unless one is stronger than the strong Crush whatever human sensibilities there are left remaining [Music] this is Charlie Melendez president of the ghetto Brothers he was born and has lived all of his life on these streets to Charlie Melendez the ghetto Brothers group is the only family that he has ever truly known and so the killing of a ghetto brother particularly someone as important to the group as black Benji was demands in the context of what may pass for life in the South Bronx a response of more violence more killing a kind of escalation of the continuing war of these young men against each other as reflections of daily elements of Oppression the mirror images of this oppression the promise of an unfulfilled aspiration a crap game bet of a dollar that may result in a corner knife fight and yet another irrational killing or yet more subtly the free flow of drugs in this community and its accompanying genocide that destroys with a terrible knowing hunger when I walk around I like to I I like to think and I think that I'm you know maybe it's that I'm crazy or maybe it's just that I I like to do this but when I walk around I like to look at things you know and I be looking around and I see so many of my Puerto Rican black Brothers all strung out and do and I see him stealing and I see him selling each other you know I see them selling each other's clothes doing going through all these changes and this is what turned me off and I said damn you know it's got to stop sometime [Music] the youth groups are wired to each other by rumor hence the question of what is truth becomes the major obstacle to any course of heading off violent retaliation by other gang groups as well as the ghetto Brothers Charlie Mendez and Playboy one of the group members returned to the scene of the killing of black Benji we started we came down the stairs right and we stopped there and there was about 13 you know 13 to 20 of us and then when we looked down we seen them and that that you couldn't even see the end the corner that's how that's how many they were and then when we got to the bottom of the stairs when they when they could have seen us there was only about nine of us M so that's when they started you know tracking you know tracking towards us and when they was tracking towards us like they didn't have they was hiding the weapons you know was hiding the weapons that's when Benji came out and Benji said he he took a step forward and he said listen brother I'm here we're here to talk peace and uh the guy he came out and he said I don't know he said piece of [ __ ] and he like must have took a jump it looked like he threw a kick but he must have took a jump to grab a pipe you know so when he had he had the pipe and he started swinging it so when he started swinging it like that's when the guy pulled out the machete and that's when they all had us all surrounded you know and then like when he started swinging it we move back and I started swinging the belt cuz I panicked I started swinging the belt so Benji said tip brother tip because there was too many so when we started running like Benji was right like on my right hand side so like I heard a noise you know pow like a slack and Benji had got hit in his stomach and he Tri the jungle and to many of its residents the South Bronx is a jungle reflects its own set of Ethics when the reasons behind the random acts of violence become known they are often clouded and not what we have come to expect from this our civilized society after all men die here because they are in the way of some force or because they welshed somehow on life or just because there is no room in this particular scheme of things to allow them to live in this neighborhood one is lucky only if one learns the wisdom of the street early here to be lucky is to stay alive a Charlie Melendez might even Venture predictions as to the Future quality of life for those who come after him I guess is what the teenagers are going to make it right you know guys my age 20 21 what we do is what going to you know influence them because like if we shoot dope they're going to be shooting dope when they get older and if they see like to get up like you know my club is doing that we uh get ourselves together and we do something for the community then they're going to think that that's what's h what everything think is what's it that's what they're going to do or the school you know that's one of one of the institutions that's really doing our people in cuz you start going to school man you start learning about uh Lincoln and and Washington that's all fine you know I can dig that man but of course you you want to know about yourself man you know you want to know about your leaders and about your Heroes so you can look up to them because it's just like you know that's what's that's what's happening in the Bronx or little kids are trying to recognize Heroes if Charlie's tough and Charlie know karate well every all the little kids say that they know Charlie and they want to be like CH now if they were taught that they had their own leaders and that Puerto Rican that to be Puerto Rican is not you know just to be a person they can only speak Spanish and can't speak English and they were taught in school that black did do something for you know the United States and Puerto Ricans did do something for themselves and they would you this wouldn't come about but the school was really [ __ ] them up don't scar [Music] Morton Weinberger the principal of a neighborhood junior high school and a teacher in this City's public school system for nearly 20 years confides his frustration to an interviewer does the school in in any way attempt to reach out into the community to deal with with some of these problems we'd like to think uh uh that we try to reach out we have uh tried to establish now evening community centers uh when uh they have uh been eliminated we've tried to set up little streetm and Street clubs where we can see some of the older youngsters who were attending to uh uh devate uh be redirected we have uh organizations such as SRA and we are organizing little uh clinics where people could go to but the truth of it all was from the 16 to the 18 and the 14 to the 19 that age group uh not enough is being done this is one man's opinion do you feel that you're a part of this community uh I I would like to think that if I get up at 5:00 in the morning in order to be here at 7:00 and I stay until not every day by any means but I'll be here for Community meetings uh Community Schoolboard and parent meetings and sometimes at 10 or 11:00 and I will attend functions such as uh well last Friday night I attended the National Association of Puerto Rican rights dinner uh I uh have had our uh uh after school we have perhaps through the Community Education complex uh a development of one of the the finest programs of musical development uh for for youngsters this runs down to 5 6:00 we we have our children or our students participate in community activities uh We've uh recognizing our our children we've sent them to see native dancers in in Harlem I I like to think that uh we spend a lot of time am I a resident of the community no but uh as a principal in the community my life has to be in this community in a community where a $5 bag is understood to mean a dose of heroin and perhaps a mere 4 hours of forgetfulness and scratch is obviously the money in one's pocket where the mind is changed when it gets eaten men may appear who speak of Alternatives Manny Dominguez a teacher of ma matics in principal weinbergers Junior High School suggests that some of the problems of this community originate in institutions once designed to prepare citizens for roles of productivity hi talking on television oh what are you doing how's the administration react to your to your you know becoming concerned with these kids who are outside of the school well in order to work with them has been times when I've had to leave the school and at first everyone liked it cuz I could help keep the tiger away from the door but once the tiger started to settle down and keep stay away from the door I was told I couldn't go out anymore I couldn't talk to them anymore I couldn't use the phone to help them anymore I couldn't leave the class when black when I saw what was going on on Thursday my first impulse was to leave the class but I realized two things one that my primary responsibility was to the kids hey so me and two that kids in the school yeah the kids in the class so I knew I had to stay there but I also knew that my impulse to leave uh was restricted by uh the principle feeling that I should say in the school no matter what happens what what's really going on is there's a there's a problem because people can only handle the defined roles and if you step out of the role to solve a problem uh if you solve the problem they say well okay we understood but if something goes wrong then they say you shouldn't have stepped out of the role and so I think a lot of people are afraid that uh if I continue to step out of the role that there will be a problem which will reflect on their control over me or their influence over me do you think that your role as a a teacher in a community school in a public schoolship system system should be extended to to the community at large to the kids in the street who are not in school definitely yeah I think I should be able to use the phone I think I should be able to leave during my free periods I think I should be able to if the crisis is great enough say to the fellow that I work with man will you take my class cuz we work in a double room you know and he told me that anytime there's a problem I'll take the other part for you you know we'll just consolidate the classes and you can leave you know and uh I think that that be allowed you know if if someone's getting killed out in the street and I might be able to stop it I think I should be able to split and go out there if I've got the relationship with the people who can stop it what's the killing of black Benji mean to a group like the ghetto Brothers Well it means a loss of a friend it means a loss of someone that they respected and valued as a member of the family uh it means that uh that the situation up there was so bad that uh two brothers killed each other and maybe they should start analyzing the situation and maybe they should start thinking about why it happened well it's it's just like what happened to King and Kennedy and Malcolm X you know it's just like one of them things that after you know that after since now that he died well now everybody says well now we're going to start working and now we're going to start doing and you know so on and so on because they wasn't doing nothing before they was all rumbling but now all the clubs want to have meetings and all of them want to talk about peace what do you think might come out of these meetings nothing I guess they're just going to you know it's just going to be a better better life here in togethering at least the youth right at least the Youth of today man you know they going to know what's what would you like to see for for this part of the Bronx for your community oh man to me hey I like see new world too much man yeah see I like to see all these ghetto you know turn into better improved places or better places to live at you know not like uh these rundown houses you know whereas a lot of kids and you know children get sick when they don't got no food that's what we're there for see if we can contact a lot of uh organization see they can give us this milk sandwiches we can give it out to the kids in the morning to the Ware Department see they can give us some clothing just just give it out to them you know and um see we want to help our people we dedicate ourselves to our people that's what Benji did and so it was arbitrarily decided there would be no retaliation no gang war reminiscent of the 1950s to the accompaniment of popping zip guns the sound of adolescent rage through the streets and the word went out there would be a meeting of all the families in the area throughout the planning for the meeting Charlie Melendez wearing an army Flack jacket walked the streets and considered the possibilities of a TR meaning the police as much as left the arrangements to the youth with three youth patrolmen covering an area of the Bronx about the size of the island of Manhattan it was probably their wisest move around the boundaries of the 41st Precinct appropriately designated Fort Apache by the police working out of it the wise policeman keeps a low profile and there was little interference from the police until later so the process of turning the kill in of Cornell Benjamin into something positive for the community was made to depend upon a truth meeting engineered by the ghetto brothers and to be attended by gang presidents and vice presidents from all over the [Music] area before the gang members introduced themselves Charlie Melendez demanded that all police operatives leave the meeting including a police troubleshooter assigned to the city's youth hey like for the police to leave or we got or we got nothing to say nobody talking he left vice president King cop what councel the young sers president young siners vice president the young siners vice president young Saints president the young copit War coun young Saints vice president young C War councel vice president president warlocks president Majestic warlocks president of the saint advisor ghetto Brothers warl lord of the ghetto Brothers but some City officials remained quietly in the background Ted gross commissioner of the Youth Services Agency observed the proceedings and listened to the speeches by gang members concerned with the tensions in the neighborhood I'm telling you man black died for peace man and like wow this what we seeking man that's what this meaning is for man for peace among each other you understand well you had that was the beef with them well how did we get in there hey man I'm going to tell you how you got in it because like let me tell you who was at the [ __ ] fight man when he was holling when he was holling like wow why should we all fight man we all black and Puerto Ricans huh when they [ __ ] hit him in the head with a pipe man and while he was laying on the floor they said like wow black Ben all came out of his mouth was said like wow man why should we fight man you understand and they struck him down dead you think that's righteous man I don't think they said you looking for us let me tell you something if we were looking for you man I guarantee you we would have came to your Turf brother we would have came to your Turf you understand we wasn't looking for nobody you know why because Lou asked us to be cool and the police asked us to be cool and the g Brothers as to be good because let me tell you brother B here is our brother man he's my brother Jack my brother too you right now if any of my members came to your tur you point them out to me I got to you that Pap they came up there in trucks Youth Services Agency commissioner Ted gross responded to questions put to him by an interviewer do you think that the groups of Youth are different than the bopping gangs of the 40s and 50s how are they second one I think that they're a blend of several stages in our in our development or development of protest I think in the ghetto Community the bopping gang was a uh method of protest at one particular time by young people uh that was in the 40s and 50s and we get to the 60s where we have the student activists here and that becomes the the ideal thing and they are talking about social issues well if you know the gangs of the 40s and 50s we not concerned about social issues they were concerned about whether or not who insulted whose girl who knocked off who had her who came in whose area uh now the youngsters are raising social problems also aside from being having a tendency to bop they have uh they're raising very real social problems and social concerns that they they are aware of and they want the system to do something about and so I think the the groups today are a blend of the fighting gangs of the 40s and 50s and the student protest movement of the 60s they have a maybe we should say a healthy blend you you and several of your boys come in bus in knock us down take our clothes take our record PL take our money our records and every damn thing we own including the damn florescent light bulbs are you people that hard off through this [ __ ] do weever down our dungeon and do that down our dungeon the real thing come down here and do this [ __ ] I felt all along that the schools had created the problem by kicking these guys out in the first place for not behaving properly either they kick them out for not behaving right or the guys drop out on their own because they get sick and tired of all the nonsense that's being fed to them of courses that don't mean anything to them of requirements that don't mean anything to them like take reading everyone talks about reading reading reading reading to me reading is just a measure of the control that we're able to exhibit over these kids the chief means of communication up there is talk and those kids want to talk to each other the get Brothers don't bother with reading I don't give them any books and say here read this about read marusa read uh you know Freud read I don't we talk and all the ideas are communicated politic the sex everything is communicated through talking so these kids and they love to talk these guys talk all day long Benji Puerto Rican Benji will talk all day long all right black Benji was most proud of his rap okay a guy with a good rap all right is a respected man and that's why one of the main reasons black Benji was respected because when he repped all kinds of things changed all kinds of things happened okay things got better when Benji opened his mouth so they love to talk and they're in schools whether it's a criminal act to talk hey you're talking criminal act bring in your mother you're talking criminal act well how long can these kids that love to rap who go out in the street and and be with their friends and derive their their mhood their manhood off their ability to rap how long are they going to stay in schools where it's a criminal act to talk not very long so the schools drive them out one way or another they kick them out or they drop out themselves okay so that I think the schools created the problem you want to know when we came to your tur man when black Benji died man that's when we came to your turn for static man I'm going to tell you what's happening now because all this [ __ ] is [ __ ] man you see because like wow man we didn't have no static with you people man all we did is ask you people for the colors man and you people didn't give us our colors back man you don't see us stripping you people man you don't see a strip in the turban you don't see a strip in the GTO brother you don't see a strip in no other crowd when we have static man we settle Out Among ourselves man because like wow we got to live in this District the why don't come down here man and live in the [ __ ] up houses man the don't come down here man and have all a [ __ ] up [ __ ] no heat in the [ __ ] winter time you understand we do Jack so therefore like wow we got to make it a better place to live you understand be like wow we the [ __ ] that our parents going to look for in the future would you say that there's a power vacuum in the Bronx a power vacuum mhm if you're talking about a vacuum being being created by the fact that enough young people are not involved in the decision making and the P structure of the Bronx yes not only in the Bronx that would hold true for the whole city you attended the truth meeting at the boys club uh last week several evenings ago what did you think of it first of all I thought it was frightening I think it was frightening as hell to be quite honest about it I think that one that that I hope that truth can be attained from this meeting and from the subsequent meetings they have there's a lot of danger as you you were there and you saw by having this many groups together one no one can predict what would happen at a meeting there we had over 200 youngsters about 20 groups represented and with obviously some antagonism between groups and all that had to do was get out of hand and we would have had Mass Havoc what prevented it from getting out of hand I would say my workers I would say my workers what role do you think Charlie Melendez Benji Melendez Marvin played I think he played also a role of keeping it from getting out of hand I his speech concerning that the reason for them being there helped um I guess the most frightening aspect of the whole meeting is was a turbance and it's frightening because these are not kids my president right there is a Venom from the Army I did 14 14 months in Vietnam got shot know what I mean for nothing come out here I'm tell we're not you know we not this mostly goal for them not you all people everybody's all right with us you people you don't have no chance against us anyway you know got the odds you know plus you don't know how to use this man you dig you don't know how to use this 16 years old you dig you think you're back in uh what what gambling days back then the gamb busting days all that [ __ ] is over man what you supposed to do now is get some some organization man they some togetherness you know some partying you know you know I mean get your sisters together man you know you know how nice it looks walking down the street with a bra hand in hand you dig dressing finding like a [ __ ] you dig all right you nice and high you know how you smoke you dig drinking that's another thing got tur baby they I'm proud to say that you know yes you have you know and you yourself your full as [ __ ] you know what I mean what you think you going to take over the B huh not even no servants can't take your bath over get that in your [ __ ] head man you know some of the groups are potentially dangerous uh I think the most positive thing about them that they are drug-free and I'm willing to look at all the other negatives things lightly the fact that they are drug free and I I think that we really have to work with them and try to keep them drug free get them the entities channel into a positive way that's quote unquote a positive way whatever the system or the community decides is a positive way for young people which is not always the best for young people even though we had colors we were a gang we'd never look for trouble man I can understand if they beat up B you but killing him is another thing you took away one of our brothers lives man and we were right down that funeral looking at them saying I wish the Immortals if they were them to see what it is to take away one of our brothers lives you don't want us to become a gang again right cuz I know you right don't I know you you was up in the meeting and you told me Benji I want to get out Al alive didn't you tell me that Benji I want to get out alive that's just what's going to happen you're going to get out alive Benji didn't get out alive Benji died it took away my brother's life man the thing is we're not a gang anymore we're an organization we want to help black and Puerto Ricans to live in a better environment you see I said down with colors now now let's turn something man let's turn something let's help our people man but then take it away my brother's lives taking advantage now that we're an organization because I heard that Immortals been going around sortal saying look at ghetto brother let's get him you guys are GI people man you really are you're not no Hell's Angel man you're black and Puerto Rican you're black and Puerto Rican brother you get that to your head man you want to know I want to show you I'm going to show you where there's a line around here because you see in some ways as a reflection of the larger more controlling Society the gang groups and families caucused and decided how the business of tension conflict and rumor would be settled within their Community hey you he a rumor you come and see yourself the buzz of negotiation and exchange fills the void that fear anger and tension have created ated and it is known all of this must be done before any attempt at peace or a reduction of the tension may be brought about will this peace treaty be binding will the relative calm remain hit him in the head ourselves I want all the presidents to stand up a beach cliff stand stand up just stand up right all the Pres to come together join [Applause] [Music] the Applause that greets a call for Peace by a youth services worker is not a convincing guarantee much is still left up to the family members and they will leave here only a b bit more convinced that there is hope for a coming together and Whispers abound that there must be further meetings in private away from the eyes and ears of The Intruders [Music] see what we don't want people to judge us and telling us well you're there to represent a gang we're really telling them we're not here to represent a gang we're the youth we're the ones who are going to be running in the future so look at us look at our example we're here as your servants we're cleaning up the streets we're trying our best to get you clothes and food so why don't you cooperate with us that's what we're asking for we're not asking for violence see that's what I want you to look at us not as a gang but as a together group The System is oppressing the youth so you know so much that they they they just actually turn around and tell them well [ __ ] you you know let me stay here oh the only thing I can do is get my friends together we call ourselves the dropouts and form a club where that where we could do something ourselves we can collect our dudes buy a little soda a little beer a little here and there and we just get organized and start our own club you can walk the streets peacefully these days you never could tell what going to happen in the corner whereas drug ATS could jump you or another club could stop you and say give me your money say I don't got it the right there they kill you you see this is not a peaceful place to live at to me of all the worst places to live at in the Bronx you can't leave a peaceful life not even me we could sleep up ours and the next thing you could be thinking what could be happening to my brothers what's happening to like me and my brother sit down and say right now we look at the the clock every minute that passes somebody's dying in the sub RS somebody is being killed in s frogs and we can put an end to that because we slept out here in the streets we know what it is to be pushed around by policeman we know what it is to get locked up so the thing is is that if we get together and say to us says well the people need is that there and since we don't got any money let's start our own thing and probably people can contribute something to us for the community we're going to keep drug addicts out we're going to clean your community and people going to say wow man these people are doing a lot then after that the government's going to look at this and then they're going to say to themselves why are weay in the sanitation department why are we paying model cities they're not doing the job these kids are doing the job I want people to say the ghetto brother has stun some I want my child to say when he grows up well my father's done something for society see and I want things to change man cuz I don't want to be living in a s BRS where everything is messed up I don't want my son to be walking in glass streets I don't want him to live in a building that's all messed up in the ghettos I want him to live in a good environment mov in a minute take me a picture we going to see a movie in a minute everybody [Music] a [Music] [Music] oh [Music]