Dangerous Diaper Dan - Bewitched

[music] Louise, I don't want to hear about it. I'm not interested. I don't really What? Who? They didn't. They did. >> Sam, >> the Camdens had a fight and he left the house. Sam. >> When? >> Last night. And he took all the wedding presents. >> Sam. >> Oh. Um, hi, sweetheart. Uh, uh, breakfast will be ready in a minute. >> You said that 20 minutes ago, >> Louise. I'll call you back. I can't talk now. >> Honey, you know how I hate gossip. >> Darren, I wouldn't even listen to anything about anyone unless it was good. And boy was that good Samantha. [music] [music] [music] >> Get it. >> It's diaper day. >> Diaper day. At your service. Hi, Mrs. >> Just put it down anywhere. D. So, you know, Mr. Stevens, your husband being in the advertising business gave me an idea. Oh, >> yeah. I thought it up myself. >> Compliments of diaper Dan. Oh, isn't that cute? >> Oh, no. You keep the Mr. Stevens. I want your baby to have the first one on the block. >> Well, thank you, Dan. That's very sweet of you. >> Well, I got to be going. Oh, say, did you happen to see the moving van out in front of the Kirabes? >> The Kirkes are moving? Well, not only that, wait to hear why. >> The fountain of trivia runth over. >> Dan, I'm not interested. >> Well, it's just that Harry and Mr. Kirk [clears throat] and his secretary, you know, that gorgeous blonde. >> Oh, gosh. >> Well, maybe just a word or two. >> Sam for demonstrating them. >> Yeah. Well, I really have to be going through a mist. Sam, can't you understand that loose talk can be a dangerous thing? >> All right. All right, Darren. You're right. Even mother agrees with you. Up to a point. It's not that I'm opposed to gossip. You understand? It's this bal mundane type that bores me. I was not gossiping. I was listening. Besides, who's going to know what's been said here today? >> That's what Lincoln said in his Gettysburg address. [music] How you can even listen to him is beyond me. >> But darling Dan meant no harm. >> Dan has got a big mouth. Hello, this is Dragonfly calling Mother Hover. Dragonfly calling Mother Hubard. Over. >> Mother Hover calling Dragonfly. We read you. Go ahead. >> Well, it worked. I planted a mic in the baby's rattle. Everything is coming in loud and clear. >> Good work. Report in as soon as you can. Over. >> Roger it out. [music] >> No, Louise. Oh, I just had a hunch it was you. Yes, Darren's left. Oh, well, we had a few words, but everything's all right now. >> Yes. I think it's just because he's been working so hard on that right campaign, but he's come up with some wonderful ideas. >> Not a good idea ever had marrying you. I regret to say >> h Oh, yes. I'm sure Larry's going to love them. But we thought of a marvelous slogan. The right pen is the right pen for you. Right. Like like in W R I G HT and right like in W R I T E. Clever, huh? Like in W R I G HT and right like in W R I P E. Clever, huh? >> I'll say it is. Peterson, you're right on it. Use everything that's on that tape. >> Yes, sir. Mr. Kimberly, >> I'll pull that right account right out from under McMahon and Tate. But what a gift to see Larry Tate's face when he makes his presentation. >> What do you mean you've already seen this presentation? We just finished it last night. Isn't that true, Darren? >> Yes, Mr. Wright, we've spent a great deal of time and thought on this. We think it's very good. >> Oh, it's good. But as I said, I saw practically the same thing at the Kimberly office. At least you could be more original. More original. More original. Nobody's more original than McMahon and Tate. Furthermore, steady. Steady. Mr. Right. Um, before you make any decisions, uh, we'll get started on another, uh, presentation right away. Fair enough. >> Fair enough. I'll give you 24 hours. [music] I can't understand it. How could Kimberly come up with the same idea? >> Well, it happens, man. It happens. We'll just have to chalk it up to coincidence. >> Oh, don't look now. We'll guess who just came in. >> Kimberly, maybe if we ignore him, he'll call away. Well, Tate and Steven, this is a coincidence. >> I [laughter] was just saying the same thing. AJ, >> where were you? >> How's business, Tate? >> Oh, make a million, lose a million. >> I just heard about your tough luck with the right account. Well, you can't win them all. [laughter] >> So, who said we lost it? Well, I just took it for granted. But we'll think of something, AJ. I'm sure you will, Stephen. Just as long as we don't think of it first. >> Miss Kimberly, I believe our table's ready, sir. >> Oh, well, see you in the rat race, boys. [laughter] >> And there goes King Rat. You don't trust him? >> I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw an elephant. An >> elephant? Larry, that's it. I've got an idea for a new presentation. I'll see you back at the office. All right. >> [music] >> It's just one of those things, honey. A coincidence. >> Oh, I'm sorry, darling. You mean you lost the account? >> Not yet. Your old Darren's still in there pitching. >> But I will be working late tonight. >> I've got this great idea about an elephant and a whole new slogan. An elephant never forgets. But if you do, write it down with the right pen and you'll always remember. >> Oh, that's marvelous. Bye, darling. Reach for it there. Oh, you want the crackers? Well, hex it over for grandma. [music] >> Yes, good girl. >> Mother, don't encourage her. Tabitha mustn't twitch. If Darren ever catches you, he'll be furious. He'll never catch me. Besides, the way your husband works nights, I have this peculiar feeling you're married to a night watchman. It's an emergency, mother. Darren's working on a simply marvelous new idea. Isn't he always? >> Yeah, truly. But this one's a gas. A >> a what? That's advertising talk for Sensational. >> I probably shouldn't mention it, but it really is brilliant. Darren has an idea about using an elephant and a slogan that goes, "An elephant never forgets. If you do, write it down with a right pen and you'll always remember. You'll always remember." >> How about that? >> Great. I like it. Rush it to the art department, then over to write. Yes, sir. >> What? You couldn't possibly have already seen these, but I had missed a tape just an hour ago. Gentlemen, your lack of inventiveness leaves me no alternative but to take my account elsewhere. >> Mr. Wright, uh, Mr. Wright, we realize that presentations can't be coincidental. Just one of those things, but we'll come up with a winner. I promise you. >> Well, I'll have to make a decision soon. >> Well, thank you, Mr. Wright. You won't be sorry. Larry. Larry, take it easy. Take it easy. I tell you, Darren, there's a spy in this company. >> Come on, Larry. You've been seeing too many movies. >> Well, once could be a coincidence. I'll buy that. But twice, never. I hate to admit it, but you may be right. I know I'm right. Larry, what are you doing? I'm looking for a hidden microphone. Your office must be bugged. This come in here, huh? [music] Aha. What's this? Larry, this is a job for professionals. If there is a mic planted in here, we'll never find it. >> You're right. I need security up here at once. I'll have every lock replaced and the combination of the safe changed. I'm going to get to the bottom of this if I have to give a lie detector test to everybody in the firm, including myself and you. Thank you. Is this really necessary? >> Absolutely. Now, this final presentation is top secret. I don't want you to talk to Sam about it. Now, that's an order. >> Yes, sir. You were ice cream. What's the matter? The olive. The olive. The island. It may be bked. [music] [music] Heat. Heat. [music] [music] A light on the metal [music] sweetheart. >> Hi. [music] Still here, huh? Well, I certainly wouldn't leave without waiting for Mr. Chill to come home. >> Oh, now, mother. Sweetheart, you look tired. Why don't you sit down and unwind? Dinner will be ready in a little while. >> Hold on. What in the world? >> A hilarious idea. I've got the key here somewhere. >> Really, Darwood? Aren't you carrying this ridiculous cloak and dagger business too far? >> Ridiculous. Two of my best ideas stolen, and she calls it ridiculous. We check the office, everything. Of course, there's a bug in this house. >> I beg your part. >> Mother Darren wasn't referring to you, were you? >> Were you, >> honey? A bug? A microphone? A hidden microphone. It could be hidden anywhere in a a lamp under the table. >> Honey, have you discussed the right campaign with anyone? >> No, for only mother. >> Well, I wouldn't repeat that with him. And he's on the phone. The phone. That's it. They tap the phone. Honey, from now on, you're to stay away from that phone. You're not to talk to anybody. Not to anybody. >> Now, wait just a minute, Darren, because I casually mention your campaign to my mother and your boss's wife. I Are you trying to blame me for your troubles? >> Confiding in a woman is like broadcasting by Telstar. >> Well, then you shouldn't have told me about it in the FIRST PLACE. >> WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED TO IT. >> Have to shout. >> I'm not shouting. >> Perhaps you'd prefer it if I didn't speak to you at all. That would suit me just fine. AND THAT WOULD BE LIKE DECLARING a global news blackout. >> I couldn't mind to GO HOME TO MOTHER. >> WHAT FOR? YOUR MOTHER'S ALWAYS HERE. [music] >> I'm telling you, Chief, they're not even speaking to each other. Over. >> Well, don't sit there on your diapers. Do something. >> Leave it to me. Roger and out. Mother, look. Aren't they gorgeous? >> A from Darren with all his trust and love. Oh, mother, isn't he wonderful? >> I was afraid you'd chicken out. >> Darren with love cement. >> [music] >> What a sweetheart. >> All right. All right. You can take your new rattle to bed. Here you go. Now, come on. Turn around. Let me get this button faster. Yeah. Pretty bold. When the kitty cats are >> Hi, sweetheart. Hello, darling. >> You look tired. >> And I still got a lot more work to do in the right presentation. But first, >> oh, Darren, more roses. My, you certainly are extravagant, but sweet. >> I like the tie you sent me. >> What do you mean more roses? >> Why these? I didn't send you any tie. >> You didn't? >> Oh, wait a minute. Mother said it's each a present to patch up our quarrel. >> And Nora, are you kidding? Well, sometimes she does what you don't expect of her just to keep you from thinking that you know what to expect from her. >> Think of it. She did agree with me the other morning. That's a switch. >> See what I mean? Mother's a switchy witch. [music] >> This is it, honey. The meeting's at 10:00 and it's our last chance. There it better not be another coincidence. >> I'll keep my fingers crossed. Will you call me and let me know how it went? I sure will. Bye. >> Oh, sweetheart. What about those? >> Oh, those are just some rough preliminary sketches I made. >> Oh, wish me luck. >> Good luck. [music] >> Good morning, Sam. >> Good morning, mother. Oh, more roses from another boy. The red ones are from him. Mother, he came up with the most marvelous idea for the campaign. He was up all night working on it, but it was worth it. Everything's going to turn out just perfectly. Oh, never dare got any other way. Who have you sunk to that level of reparte? What do you mean? The red roses are from him. Now, mother, go ahead, admit it. You know, you sent the others. I sent them. >> And Darren wants me to thank you for the lovely neck tie. >> Oh, how utterly preposterous. Not that I wouldn't like to give Derwood a neck tie. >> Very funny. >> Oh, mother. Wait a minute. I If you didn't send them, who did? Well, I'm the greatest here. And what's more, I could possibly care less. Well, I care. Um, Patterson Patterson Flores information. Could I have the phone number for the Patterson Flores, please? This is what she calls brilliant. He gets paid for this. Are you sure there isn't some mistake? Well, there's no reason in the world for him to send. Well, you see, he's our positive. All right. Thank you. Thank you very much. Diaper Dan. Diaper Dan. Diaper Dan. >> [music] >> Well, since I really possess supernatural powers to the highest degree, perhaps I'm not expected to understand. But would you mind telling me what is so brilliant about an astronaut in an ad? Or this nauseating slogan when you fly to the moon, you'll still be writing the right pen. But there's only one right way to go into space and only one right way to write mercy motherless all the idiotic things I thought. Of course. But of course what? Oh, how stupid. We're stupid. STUPID. STUPID. >> SAY ABOUT these groupings. Mother. Mom, do you remember what Darren said about a bug being in the house that could be hidden anywhere? Other [music] fairies into the bong [music] diaper Dan. And thanks to you, there goes another one of Darren's ideas. [music] >> [music] >> Oh, the wind is around. [music] Wait till you see this one out of babes. [music] >> Something I lost my engine. Who's your head? >> I think I see. >> Can I help? [music] May I be my guest? Heat. Heat. [music] [music] [music] >> [music] [music] >> Heat up here. [music] Come on. Oh. [music] >> [music] [music] [music] >> Good morning. >> Good morning, sweetheart. Well, you certainly are in a good mood this morning. >> Couldn't be better. Coffee's good. My paper's here. I've got a beautiful wife and a satisfied client. >> You couldn't miss. The presentation was sensational. I caught a glimpse of it the other night. >> You saw it? >> Mhm. And you thought I couldn't keep a secret. >> Well, whatever. >> I'll get it. [music] >> Morning, Mr. Good morning, Dan. You just put it right over there. >> Oh, Mrs. Stevens, there'll be a Drew Kn stopping by for I mean a new driver stopping by for a while. He's going on I mean I'm going on vacation. >> How nice. Have a good time. >> Good time. I'm spending a month at the Country Air Rest Home. Did Dan say he was going to a restaurant? >> Yes, dear. >> Well, he did seem a little confused. >> He might even say he was raffled. [music] Heat. [music] Heat. [music] >> [music] [music] [music] >> Heat. Heat. [music] >> [music]